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Murphy was a Scout

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When B-P was asked about the Scout Motto, 'Be Prepared', he was asked "be prepared for what?" His reply was, " well, for any old thing".


That great social commentator, Giles Murphy, observed that "If anything can go wrong, it will". We have since been given the Selective Law of Gravitation ("that will be dropped that will do the most damage") and The Parkinson Principle (" junk will be collected to fill the space available") and the Peter Principle (" an employee will rise in an organization to his level of incompetence, at which time he will no longer be promoted").


In light of Mr. Murphy, Scouts should be prepared to counter such predictive dictums as The Bicycling Law (" the wind is always in your face") and the Back Pack Rule (" the item you really really need is either at the bottom of the pack or on the kitchen table").


I would ask my Scouting friends, are there any more to add to the list?



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The Backpacking rule:

Bringing the kitchen sink shortens the hike.

FB(This message has been edited by Fuzzy Bear)

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LAW #1 The number of mosquitoes at any given location is inversely proportional to the amount of repellent remaining.


LAW #2 The distance to a given campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.


LAW #3 Any stone in a hiking boot will migrate to the point of maximum pressure.


LAW #4 The probability of diarrhea increases with the square of the poison ivy content in the local vegetation.


LAW #5 Members of the opposite sex are only encountered while dealing with diarrhea relating to LAW #4 above.


LAW #6 The area of level ground in a given campsite diminishes as the need to make camp becomes finite.


LAW #7 Tent stakes come only in the quantity "N-1" where N = the number of stakes required to stake down a tent.


LAW #8 When utilizing a mummy bag, the urgency to urinate is inversely proportional to the amount of clothing worn. (There is also a correlation

that is inversely proportional to the temperature + the degree to which the mummy bag is completely zipped).


LAW #9 Waterproof clothing isn't. (However it demonstrates 100% effectiveness at containing sweat.)


LAW #10 The weight of a backpack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food consumed from it.


LAW #11 When executing the instructions of a pump-activated water filter, the term "hour" should be substituted for "minute" when calculating average quarts per minute.


LAW #12 Average temperature increases/decreases inversely with the amount of clothing available.


LAW #13 When hiking boots are removed, it is not possible to put them back on.


LAW #14 Water bottles that are full when packed, will spontaneously deplete prior to arrival at campsite.


LAW #15 Under any conditions, matches will find a way to get wet.


LAW #16 Under any conditions, everything meant to be kept dry will find a way to get wet.


LAW #17 A single rock located under any tent will also be located under the sleeping bag.


LAW #18 Your side of the tent will always be the side that leaks.


LAW #19 Universally, all foods assume a uniform taste, texture, and color when freeze-dried. (When reconstituting, divide number of servings by two).


LAW #20 All tree branches in a forest grow outward from their respective trunks at exactly the height of a human nose (unless interaction is with human

males, in which case branches will also grow at groin height).


LAW #21 The toothpick in a Swiss Army knife evaporates as soon as the box is opened.


LAW #22 The sun sets 3.5 times faster than normal when you're trying to set up camp.


LAW #23 A sufficient amount of dirt will get tracked into the tent on the first day out, that the food required for the rest of the trip can be grown in

rows between the sleeping bags.


LAW #24 No matter where you're going it is the wrong path.


LAW #25 No matter where you end up it is the wrong campsite.


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I'll add one more for backpacking.


LAW #26 - The servings per package of pre-packaged backpacking meals will always come in quantities of n-1, where n = the number of persons in the party. i.e. For a group of 5, all meals will be packaged to serve 4, for a group of 3, all meals will be packaged to serve 2, etc., requiring the group pack nearly twice as much as needed. However this Law helps to counter the effect of LAW #19.


LAW #27 - The amount of stove fuel carried on any trip is always sufficient for n - 1 days, no matter how much fuel is carried or how many days a trip lasts.









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Trail marker indicating 1 mile to base camp (or summit) is actually located 3 miles from base camp (or summit).

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How could I forget:


Regardless of the forecast, even if your area is in a 20 year drought, whatever weekend your scouts are camping, it will rain (or snow).


I've actually done the research for my local district and there's approximately an 80% chance of rain any weekend in the spring or fall when most of our units want to camp. :)

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Campfire Law 1) The downwind position of a smokey campfire is always where you are standing or sitting.


Campfire Law 2) The wind will change directions when you move from the downwind position to ensure that Campfire Law 1 always remains in force.


Campfire Law 3) No matter the size of the wood you burn in your fire, the fire will never be large enough to keep your Boy Scouts satisfied. Burn 10 acres worth of wood at one time and your Scouts will insist you add another couple of acres to the fire.


Campfire Law 4) You will never find the perfect size stick for roasting marshmallows - they will always be too thick, too thin, too long or too short. Just when you think you've found the perfect size stick, someone else will add it to the fire as firewood.


Campfire Law 5) The size of your campfire is inversely proportional to the distance from the nearest water source.


Corallary to Campfire Law 5) When its time to put your fire out, your Boy Scouts will be impossible to find.



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When playing poker/euchre/hearts/I doubt it/spades/cribbage the card most needed will be a substitute joker with grape jelly on the back.

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