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Is that a campaign hat?


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So, this Scoutmaster was walking through the mall, and as he passed a pet shop, he saw 3 monkeys in a cage in the display window, one wearing a little campaign hat. Curious, he went inside and asked the manager about it.

 

The manager says: "Oh yeah, we got a few of those rhesus monkeys from a private owner who spent a lot of time training them to be Scout leaders, but didn't want the bother any more. They have papers and everything."

 

"Really? Which is the one wearing a little campaign hat?" asked the now more curious Scoutmaster.

 

"Oh," said the manager, "That's the Scoutmaster monkey. He won't take that hat off, even when he's sleeping. I tried to take it off when they first got here so I could check him for bugs and stuff, and he tried to bite me. I don't mess with it any more."

 

"How much does he cost?" asked the SM, relating even more to the monkey now that he knew the story behind the hat, and thinking it might be neat to have a little mascot.

 

"Ten thousand dollars", replied the manager. "Remember, these are all trained, and I have the papers on them."

 

"Boy, that's steep, even for a trained Scoutmaster monkey. How about that one next to him?"

 

"That one's a little funny; he can't make up his mind if he wants to play with the other monkeys or go off by himself. He's twenty thousand dollars -- his papers say he's a committee chairman."

 

The Scoutmaster was aghast. "Twenty thousand for a committee chairman? Granted, trained ones are very rare, but that's just ridiculous. What about that third monkey?"

 

The manager rocked back and forth on his heels and said: "Well, that one's even more of a head-scratcher. He's fifty thousand. And on top of that, all I've ever seen him do is eat and scratch himself, but his papers say he's a unit commissioner."

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So, I asked my Unit Commissioner where he had been for the past five years. He said that he had been training this group of monkeys to be Scout Leaders but had little success. He had sold them to a pet store for fifty dollars because he had gotten tired of their antics and lack of cooperation. I gave him a cup of coffee and a donut and he was happy.

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