Bob White 20 Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 A guy sits alone at a bar, drinking his beer. From out of nowhere, he hears a voice say, "You look great, man! Have you lost weight?" He looks around, and confirms that the only other person in the bar is the bartender, who is all the way at the other end of the bar. He shrugs it off, and takes another drink of his beer. "That's a really nice suit. It looks good on you," the voice says again. The guy looks around, and before he can say anything, the voice says, "You have very nice eyes." The guy freaks out, and shouts, "Hey, bartender! Come here!" As the bartender arrives, the voice speaks again. "That's a nice haircut!" "Who keeps talking to me?!" The guy asks the bartender. "Oh, that?" The bartender says, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary." Link to post Share on other sites
Sturgen 10 Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 A guy walked into a bar, and said ouch. Link to post Share on other sites
frank10 12 Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 A man walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!" Link to post Share on other sites
firstpusk 10 Posted February 22, 2004 Share Posted February 22, 2004 A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey. The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it." Link to post Share on other sites
packsaddle 753 Posted February 24, 2004 Share Posted February 24, 2004 Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one. "Let's fly down and find some lunch." They flew down to the ground and found a nice plot of newly plowed ground that was full of worms. They ate and ate and ate till they could eat no more. "I'm so full, I don't think I can fly back up into the tree," said the first one. "Let's just lay back here and bask in the warm sun," said the second. "O K," said the first. So they plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, when a big fat tomcat up and gobbled them up. As the cat sat washing his face after his meal, he thought... (scroll down) (ready??) (you're gonna love this one) "I JUST LOVE BASKIN ROBINS." Link to post Share on other sites
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