A Bully in the Den

[Basementdweller 608]

Well, It seems I have a bully in the bunch this year. Looking for some suggestions or programs to help me set this man on the right track. Does BSA have some literature I can go over with den and talk to the entire den about bullying. Maybe some skits or short storys.

 

Suggestions please.(This message has been edited by Basementdweller)

[Basementdweller 608]

Gotta chuckle got this months issue of scouter and low and behold an article on Bullying.

 

What have you done that is successful? I am pretty sure Dad is bullying him, I am not sure how to approach the situation. I approach dad, I will probably loose him.

[OwntheNight 10]

BD- It's amazing how Scouter magazine comes out with stories we need, when we need them! What age group is your den? Is he new to scouting? What kind of bullying is he doing, Is it more physical?Have you thought about assigning him some tasks (not punishment) during the den meeting that will keep him occupied that he can take ownership in, Attendance, dues, etc? I know that should fall to the denner position, but it sounds like you want to steer him away from his tendencies. Try and stay positive and encouraging at the same time, It sounds like this boy needs a positive role model in his life. Good Luck

[Gary_Miller 10]

Basementdweller, "I am pretty sure Dad is bullying him, I am not sure how to approach the situation. I approach dad, I will probably loose him."

 

What makes you think dad is bulling him?

 

Is dad a bully or is he just strick?

 

If you really feel dad is a bully then there maybe some abuse going on. If this is the case you should contact the local health and welfare office. The will check out the situation and you remain anonymous.

[Basementdweller 608]

I seen dad bully him, name calling and what not. The young man has no bruising and does not act timid around dad, at summer camp in the pool no surprise bruises. The boy is well fed, in clean cloths and plays sports, so his father bullying him may just be a parenting style. I don't agree and not my style.

 

Dad isn't beating him. the rest is a judgment call about mental abuse, I am not going to call children services because he is calling the other boys in the den fat, stupid, ignorant and using his size to intimidate them.

 

My concern is this young man is Bullying the other boys in the den. Just looking for some ideas that may help

[Lisabob 13]

Be direct with the boy. "We treat each other with respect here. This is what that means..." Do lots of role playing with the den to help all of them see how they can choose to behave differently. Be very, very intentional about it.

 

10-11 year olds can get that. Sometimes, in ways adults or even older teens who have entrenched behavioral patterns do not get that.

 

By the way our own scouter.com forum contributor Neil Lupton was quoted in that article. On the whole, I appreciated the article and thought there was a lot of useful material in there, but I thought the actual practical tips for leaders were on the weak side.

 

 

[denleader09 10]

There are some comic books that you can order online from scoutstuff.org that deal with bullying. It shows bullying from both sides: victim and bully. It is a little simplistic, but it gives ideas for how to stay safe etc. It might be a great way to broach the subject. They are only about 20 cents a piece.

 

Good luck with your situation. By bringing this up, you will be letting the other boys know that you are standing up for them, even if the conversation doesn't reach the bully. And that is so important.

[evmori 11]

Don't put up with it. Tell dad and this boy this type of behavior will not be tolerated.

[Basementdweller 608]

I would rather this be a teaching moment for the entire den than just a lecture to one boy and parent