Arrow of Light presentation--ideas please?

[Laurie]

A boy completes Arrow of Light on his own, with the den leader's approval to move forward on it, and he has done so three months ahead of the rest of his den. He is ready to join a troop now, is old enough, is very excited about this, but if he leaves now, he will do so without an AoL ceremony, briding ceremony, opportunity to take part in PWD and Blue and Gold. He says he's ok with that, but I'm not entirely convinced. Here's the wrinkle: not only did he finish "early" (only one bridging & AoL ceremony each year--not sure more than one was ever needed), but he's my son, and I suspect he will miss these things even though he says otherwise. As CM, this puts me in an awkward position because I believe he should be recognized, but I can't get a straight answer from the committee on adding this to the pack meeting for December (which is tonight). What would you do? Surely I can't be the only one to face this dilemna, which by the way, I don't believe should be a dilemna at all. Plain and simple: a boy earns an award, a boy recieves it. I'm ready to do a third Bobcat ceremony, but no one objects to that. Thanks in advance.

[SemperParatus]

To put it bluntly - you are the Cubmaster and so, should have a very big say (if not the final say) in what gets awarded and when. The boy earned the award - it should be presented. Maybe it is not quite as elaborate as at the B&G, but it should still be made a special moment for this scout. If it was anyone other than the CM's son, it would probably not be an issue for other folks.

 

[EagleInKY]

I faced this once in 5 years as a CM. It was the den leader's son in that case. He felt he was more mature than all the other boys (which was anything but the case, but that's another topic). I'll tell you what our "policy" (term used loosely) is. I was berated on this board for what we did, but I still think it worked best.

 

We do a nice AOL ceremony at B&G, and a nice crossover ceremony in March. If a boy decides to go early, we'll present him his AOL at a pack meeting, but it will be just your basic "call the parents up, pin the badge on and congratulate him" ceremony. Nothing fancy or formal. If he wants fancy or formal, he's welcome to come back to the B&G and participate in it. He also forfeits the right to participate in anything else, such as PWD or other activities.

 

The reason I was criticized was people felt that he deserved a nice ceremony as much as the next guy. While that may be true, it's not realistic, in my mind, for the CM to be responsible for organizing special ceremonies every month. We gave him an option (come back at B&G). It's up to him if he really wants to or not.

 

In the end, I believe it's your call. Since you're personally attached, I would get buy-in from the CC and CAs.

 

Good luck.

[ScoutNut]

This is not even something that the Committee has a say in at all. If the boy (doesn't matter whose son he is) has earned an award he should receive it and be recognized in front of his peers ASAP.

 

If his Den Leader knew he was close enough to earning his AOL for December's Pack meeting he should have planned for it. Shame on him/her.

 

Considering the meeting is tonight, has the award been purchased from council? What do you usually do for boys earning AOL (decorated arrow, etc)? Crossing over to BS (BS handbook, red shoulder loops, etc)? Do you have time to put anything together? Can you get the SM of his new Troop to show up tonight?

 

With only hours to put together something, is your son willing to wait until January's Pack meeting? If not, perhaps you could recognize him tonight with a certificate and do the full AOL & also a crossover ceremony next month. With the SM's ok he could attend Troop meetings in January and then attend the January Pack meeting to receive his actual awards with a ceremony. If Jan is your PWD maybe you could have a BS category and invite all of the boys in the Troop to participate.

 

I would DEFINATLY not allow any boy to leave the Pack without his accomplishments being recognized. That is just wrong.

 

[ScoutNut]

BTW - Even if he has completely transfered to a BS Troop he can still attend the Pack's B & G. You are still going to be a part of the Pack (CM) at that time, correct? As we all know Pack events are family events and he is your family.

 

We have no Cub Scout sons, but I am Tiger Leader & spouse is Asst CM. If available, both of my kids (16yo BS/Den Chief son & 19 yo former GS daughter) attend Pack meetings with us.

[Eagledad]

Hi Laurie

 

What you are actually talking about is the best suggestion for breaking pack tradition. The only policy the BSA suggests is to recognize each scout as soon as possible. I've always thought it a little funny that we point that policy out on one hand and then hold back AOLs until all the scouts have earned the badge or until a month of year traditionally done by the pack. I had several scouts earn their AOL several months before they left the pack.

 

I would first for just a moment, ignore polices and traditions and ask yourself as the CM what is best here for the scout? Then how do you achieve that? I understand Scoutnuts statement to not let any scout leave without recognition and he is right most of the time. But many times those kinds of suggestions are made from what adults want, not what the scouts wants or is the right for him.

 

Give the scout, your son, what will give him the most honor in his eyes, and use the pack as the tool to honor him that way.

 

Our pack went the way of EagleinKy in general, but I got really good at creating good ceremonies on the fly when these kinds of things just happen.

 

Tell your son we send our congratulations.

 

I highly suggest that if your pack has a tradition of holding scouts upside down while you present them with the AOL and a symbolic arrow, just keep it to yourself. It will never fly here.

 

Good luck to you in your scouting future because I know you love this scouting stuff.

 

Barry

 

[Laurie]

Thank you all. I won't elaborate on some of the factors at play here because I truly care about and respect my fellow leaders. As for committee, that's basically the den leaders as most committee members don't show but den leaders do. So I misled you all though that wasn't intentional; I'm sorry about that. I would be proud of and honored to provide any boy with any award or advancement at any time, but at times I am a lone voice in the unit. This type of thinking is not shared by all for varying reasons, but not one that I've found I can agree or jives with BSA training yet. I have the insignia, the den leaders know I have it, and the reason I have it is that I double as advancement chair. Thanks again for taking time to read and respond.

[Eagle1973]

Deleting double post.(This message has been edited by Eagle1973)

[Eagle1973]

If the discussion isn't over, here is my 2 cents worth.

 

We, as parents and leaders, shouldn't allow every request of an 11 year old boy go, just because he asks. So, with that said, I would present the Scout with his AoL at the first opportunity. But, have the Scout remain in the Den, give him something more to do, such as help the others earn their AoL.

 

Here is why. If he is allowed to cross over now, I'll bet that he will be overwhelmed in his new surroundings in the Troop. He will have no others his "age", he will have no others (except the slackers) requiring the same sign-offs that he will need for Tenderfoot and Second Class. He will be alone and behind. And we'll risk losing him.

 

Award him his badge, have him stick around in an "elevated" position, have him participate in the ceremony and the cross over in a group with his peers.

 

30 years from now, he'll have fond memories as an Eagle Scout with several Silver Palms......

 

[Laurie]

Eagle1973, we would risk losing this particular boy if he is denied his Arrow of Light again. I sent a PM with more info, but I do understand and agree with your point. I would add that it depends very much on the boy as well though.

 

All: I'm still not sure what tonight holds, but I thank you again for giving me much to think about in respect to this. Please know that I don't handle advancements or other's feelings lightly, and this was actually a hard thread to start--thus the last-minute asking for ideas.

[Laurie]

Yikes! I just noticed a typo: "briding" ceremony. Hmmmm.... You do know this is bridging, right? No, I haven't gone and created something new

[Laurie]

You know, sometimes messed-up schedules can be a blessing in disguise. Nothing went as planned, we were caroling, and half the pack didn't show (sickness and a school concert), and of those boys who did show, some families didn't stay, so all ceremonies were dropped, and the boys didn't know they were going to take place anyway, so no one missed them (but me!). My husband and I have read your posts, and we both thank you for the ideas and support you've given us as we seek to do what is best for our son. Thank you kindly.

[Eagle1973]

Laurie, I didn't get your PM prob because I had an old email address in my profile, so I apoligize. But you may have misunderstood, I recommended awarding the AoL, but not in an as fancy of a ceremony.

 

But I feel your pain. My son gets frustrated with the other Scouts that don't share his drive and determination. His biggest frustration is when an age limit is set on an activity. For instance, last night we took our Venture Crew to the pistol range. The Venture Crew leader is also our Troop's SM. And we, him and I, wouldn't let my son come because he is a Scout, not a Crew member, even though he is on a competition 4H shooting team, and can out shoot any of the adults as a 12 year old. (However, when we went shotgun shooting, he was allowed, Scouts can use shotguns, not handguns...) The other recent frustration was at a Troop lock-in at an indoor rock climbing wall. He couldn't earn the merit badge because the house rule was 14 years of age to belay.... He's twelve, he's rock climbed before....

 

Soooo, good luck with your son, IMO Boy Scouts is far better then Cub Scouts, (but don't tell anybody on the forum that I said that). The hardest part is for the parent to transition to being a leader in the Boy Scouts, but it is a blast. (if you want to talk how I made the transition, we can)

 

Cheers.(This message has been edited by Eagle1973)