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Everything posted by CharityAK

  1. I thought I'd provide an update on this issue. I received a call last week from a national scouter in charge of creating and maintaining the "do not register" list (forgot what he called it exactly). A very nice person who sensitively handled a difficult issue. For some reason he had only just received the case that I had reported almost 2 years ago! Since the scout in question had been flagged as extremely dangerous he was following up with further research. He was able to assure me that his young man would NEVER again be involved in scouting in any way, shape or form. I feel ver
  2. You go, rooster. And I thought chivalry was dead right along with acknowledging the value of feminine contribution in the home.... Charity
  3. Forgot to say... I also really liked the advice to have son put his plans in writing. This would go a long way towards reassuring leadership that the boys have indeed thought things through and made plans. And it's just a good skill for the boys to develop as well. SM must have felt some confidence in son's planning because he asked him to consider running for SPL - which son has decided to do. Charity
  4. Thanks for your great insight and helpful comments! The boys had a blast with their biking weekend. Everything went well for them. No evidence of any hard feelings on anybody's part. You are right...we have a good SM, lots of experience, very committed and selfless. That's why I was concerned about my son needing to be open to hearing his input. He has years and years of experience in scouting and I know he sees things the boys don't. Since SM can be a bit gruff on occasion, sometimes the boys think he's just being a pain and miss the point he's trying to help them see. The fact that the weeke
  5. FOG - ROFL! You're right! That's probably an even more likely scenario in today's culture. Charity
  6. >A friend's wife suffers from asthma and asked a >man smoking near her to not smoke because it was >aggrevating her condition. He blew smoke in her >face. She kicked him in the crotch And the scenario ends like this in today's litigious climate...He sued her and won a ridiculous claim which put her family in bankruptcy court. Charity
  7. Just to throw a clinker in the discussion...*BWG* how far does the expectations of being a good role-model go? Do we throw out a scoutmaster who has been unfaithful to his wife? Is a screamer? Uses minor profanity? Has a twinkie addiction? Do we throw out a scoutmaster whose son is on drugs and daughter is pregnant out of wedlock (if he can't manage his own household, how is he fit to lead my kids?)? Makes remarks like "Whoa! Now there's a hot babe!" Makes derogatory remarks about minorities? Buys the occasional pull-tabs? Our SMs are good men. We're not dealing with these issues. But on the s
  8. According to the clip from p. 19 of the Guide to Safe Scouting (assuming the individual providing the clip in the earlier post did so correctly) "Adult leaders should support the attitude that young adults are better off without tobacco and may not allow the use of tobacco products at any BSA activity involving youth participants." To me, "may not allow" means that even if a leader didn't have a problem with smoking and didn't care whether or not smoking was present, he does not have the liberty to allow it at a BSA event with scouts present. It would be okay to allow smoking at an a
  9. Adults smoking in front of my son would be sufficient reason for me to leave the troop for a couple of reasons. One, I do not wish my son to be exposed to secondhand smoke. He has asthma and chronic bronchitis. He doesn't need to be breathing that crap. I do not see this as being the same as having an overweight SM. Our SM being overweight does not pose a health risk for others. Secondly, the real point, however, is not my opinion or the opinion of others, but what is policy? All adults should follow policy whether they agree with it or not. The Guide of Safe Scouting disallows the
  10. My son, a patrol leader, came home from scouts a bit frustrated (I'm the Advancement Chair, but was at karate class). They have Fall Jamboree this weekend. His patrol had planned to do some "extreme biking". They had discussed this for several weeks, planned it, etc. I wasn't there so I'm assuming, based on what he told me, that they did an adequate job planning. There was some resistance from the scout leaders who seemed to prefer that the boys go hiking instead. Not sure what their concerns were as I wasn't there, but I'm assuming the leaders concerns were valid as these are reasonable men w
  11. DSteele - Forgive my ignorance...only been in scouting for about 2 years. By "Scout Executive" you mean the guy at the very top? Are you advising that I send a copy of this young man's conviction to national headquarters? I have already given a copy to our district executive. Charity
  12. I don't want to get into all the details on a public forum. Let me just say that our family has complete legal right to those records. They were given to me by legal counsel. As far as the nature of the assault, again, a sensitive issue. I don't want to describe the nasty details. But the young man was guilty of first degree sexual assault against preschool children. This was way beyond kissing. He is a serious threat to the community despite his young age. Charity
  13. This abuse happened BY a scout, but not TO a scout. The abuse occurred in the context of private homes with the scout acting as a friend or babysitter. Since he is a juvenile, many of the child protection laws do not apply to him. It was very unusual for him to have served anytime at all. Usually a juvenile offender just gets "counseling". The sentencing only happened through the very hard work of one set of parents. The other parents didn't want to get involved. As far as defamation...I thought that could only be charged if the statements made are untrue. I am in possession of all of the
  14. The scout who recruited my older son to our troop lived in our neighborhood, was a close friend of our family (we had no idea of his predilections and made the erroneous assumption that he was a great kid - after all he was a high-ranking scout!) but was convicted and sentenced to two years for sexual assault of four children in our neighborhood. There were other victims starting back when he was as young as 11. Our family had to be witnesses in the trial and were the only ones in the troop who knew of the conviction. The mom spun a web of lies as to her son's absence and continues to lie abou
  15. FOG - I agree with you. True scout spirit means being resourceful, showing initiative and a can-do spirit. I also think that a kid needs the support of his parents. And I think it is the obligation of a parent to help their kid be successful - not do it for them, but make sure the child is enabled and supported in their own efforts. I see parents as enablers (I mean that in the healthy sense of the word). Hate to invoke Bette Midler tripe...but that whole "wind beneath my wings" thing. Now, as your post implies, that doesn't excuse a kid who really wants to advance and doesn't have parental s
  16. I don't know any "pushed" Eagles, but my husband has often observed to me that not many kids make it in their chosen endeavors without parental support. I realize that isn't necessarily the same thing as being "pushed." When I reflect back on the Eagles, valedictorians, black belts, MVPs, etc. I have known, almost all of them had involved supportive parents. My DH told me he used to think that was "cheating" (he did not have helpful parents) when he was a boy. That it wasn't fair that some parents helped their kids. Now, as a parent, he says he realizes that it's very difficult for a kid
  17. I keep getting the same questions over and over from parents - especially those crossing over from Webelos. I've encouraged them to read the Handbook, but they don't seem satisfied with that. I'm glad they are interested! The guide is just a 12 page brochure that explains how the ranks work, how badges are earned, what the Advancement Chair does, what parents do, what scoutmasters do, etc. There is a section on FAQ and a bibliography that lists websites and other materials that may be of interest. We had some problem with parents getting irate because their boys weren't advancing. These parent
  18. In the posts here I occasionally see references to the advancement policy book. I need one of these as I often have questions regarding advancement policy and hate to keeping asking questions here or of our scoutmaster. I usually know the obvious answers but have occasional detailed questions that need more than an opinion survey of our adult leaders. *g* Is this something I could buy at our council office? I don't think I've seen anything like that there. Perhaps I have to order it from BSA? I'm developing an advancement guide for parents and I want to ascertain that everything in there
  19. Thank you all for your input. This helps tremendously. I know this young man is not the only young man in our troop who does not have a regular church home. This is only our second Eagle and the other young man was quite religious and a regular church attender so this is the first time we've faced this issue. I think I know how to best help him now should the reference letter not show up here soon. Thanks! Charity
  20. I was checking at our district office on the status of our current Eagle-to-be. Seems the only thing hanging up his BOR is that his religious reference letter hasn't yet come in. I then talked to the young man about it. Seems this was a church that he rarely (read holidays, maybe) attended in Texas quite a few years ago. He's not even sure this pastor is still at this church. His family does not attend church anywhere here in Alaska. I know that a scout swears to do "duty to God" and "to be reverent", but does he have to have a home church and be in regular enough attendance to be
  21. ROFL!!! I couldn't figure out what you were talking about with the tools. I forgot that I had made something else with a canoe theme. The item on the cutting mat is a double-handed potholder with machine embroidered state motif. Tennessee on one end and Alaska on the other. I made that for the wife of the man who ran the BSA camp this summer. My son was on staff and the this wonderful woman was "staff Mom". It was a thank you present for taking such good care of my boy. The couple was from TN but love Alaska and that's why I did the state motifs on the hands of the oven mitt. The Scout
  22. The quilt turned out great! I'm still tacking the binding in place but other than that it's done. We give it to him on Thursday. I have pics at http://www.ofoto.com You'll have to type in lovelace@mtaonline.net And t0by for the password (that's a zero not the letter o) It's in the file called "Sewing Projects" Charity
  23. Something about this boy's behavior really concerns me. Hate to be guilty of psychobabble, but he doesn't seem to have a normal understanding of appropriate personal boundaries (asking for money for a personal item from a minor acquaintance). That combined with what appears to be the lack of parental involvement makes him an easy target for predators. I think I'd try to learn more about him and try to initiate an acquaintance with his parents. Something doesn't sound right. Charity
  24. As Advancement Chair of our troop, I've created BOR guides for BOR members to use during the review. It lists questions that would be appropriate for each rank level. It also briefly explains the purpose of the review. Before calling the boy in I always explain to the team that we are not retesting the boy. I usually give them some examples in how the questions should/or should not be phrased. For example ACCEPTABLE - Have you used any of your First Aid training yet? If so, how did it go for you? NOT ACCEPTABLE- Show us how to wrap a sprained ankle. After a handful of exam
  25. We did that this summer too. My (then) 15yo son was cinematographer for 9 weeks. Fortunately, camp is only about 30 minute from our home. I managed to find something to do for the camp that kept me visiting about 2x a week (providing saddles for the Leatherwork merit badge class) I baked goodies on a regular basis and brought them with me for son to share with his friends. This helped his social status immensely. I soon had a steady line of staffers willing to haul my saddles for me and putting in their orders for the next goodie delivery. A neat bunch of kids. I enjoyed getting to know them
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