Holding on to Scouts who are drifting away

[Buffalo Skipper]

First, thanks to MattR for a great and thoughtful thread. The topic and replies have given me much to ponder and consider now and in the future. And it got me to thinking about something else....

 

How much should we be hanging on to scouts who are drifting away from scouts? When a scout, especially a young scout, say in the troop for 18 months or less (but not to exclude older scouts from the discussion) starts to loose interest, how do you reinvigerate their interest? What about when the parents are supportive but don't want to "fight" the lack of interest in scouting? I am not talking about "problem" scouts here, I really am referring to scouts with reasonable skills and obvious potential who are a blessing to the program?

 

Your thoughts?

[Eagle92]

A few ideas.

 

#1 have a program that is youth led. One that they have input into the activities and run them.

 

#2 Give them leadership roles where they are responsible for teaching what they know.

 

#3 Give them opportunities for High Adventure type activities.

 

[Thomas54]

 

I have drifted away from hobbies. I have left behind great people, the warm friendly and welcoming type. These hobbies often filled a need/desire at the time. I left these things that I liked for various reasons. Money would be near the top. Hobbies are expensive. Time was another, often these hobbies were not shared by my wife and kids so it became a matter of separation and balance. I have been in boat clubs, horse clubs, bike clubs, shooting clubs and running clubs just to name a few. All filled with fantastic people and events that enriched my life.

 

But at some point I lost interest in each. I would then replace one with a another. I yearned to move on and try something new.

 

If a scout is in Band, football, baseball or similar then maybe it's not that crucial that he must remain in scouts. If he is 13-14, went to a few summer camps got a couple of 20-bag nights/years in, then its not a matter of him understanding what Boy Scouts is all about. He is just moving on.

 

Do what's best for the scout, not what he could do for your program.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lisabob]

Find out why he is moving on. Be open to hearing things you may disagree with, in the process. Understand that perceptions matter (even if you don't share them) and don't get defensive.

 

Is he moving on because the program has become stale? Is it because he is tired of being controlled (or yelled at, or worse) by adults or other scouts? Is it because he is too busy? Is it because he has just developed other interests? Is it because some family circumstances have changed and now it is harder for him to get to the meetings and events? Has he decided he just really doesn't enjoy camping that much? Is your troop just not a good fit for his personality?

 

All of these might be valid reasons. Some of them, you can address, but only if you know they exist. I see a lot of troop leaders who stick their heads in the sand, instead. When a kid starts to pull away, they start back stabbing the kid. "Well he wasn't ever really a good/committed scout" or "he never liked hiking/camping/whatever activity anyway" "he's a momma's boy" or "his parents never understood us and our program to begin with." As if a) there is fault to be assigned, and b) it should be assigned 100% to the kid and his family. Is it any surprise then, that kids who have begun to drift away for whatever reason and then get this treatment, drift still further?

 

 

[SMT224]

Not everyone can be a Scout.

 

Some kids just don't like camping, or doing outdoor activities. Maybe it was fun in Cubs, but once they crossover they miss mom too much, or hate bugs, or something else. Or maybe they discover they like playing sports, or band, or other things better than Scouts. And that's just fine. Scouting is not for everyone.

 

The worst behavioral problems I've seen in our Troop have consistently come from boys who do not want to be there. Usually their parents really want them to make Eagle or hope that participation will give them "character". If a Scout clearly doesn't want to be there, let him go.

 

The Scouts who stay until they turn 18 (and often make Eagle) either really like camping and the outdoors, or have a have really good set of friends in the Troop. I've seen some very tight groups crossover together and stay together through out all kinds of Troop activities over the years and usually all make Eagle. Other guys age out before Eagle, but loved being in the Troop and going camping.

 

[Stosh]

Boys who "drop out" after a year or two have never found the value of the program. What good has this program been providing? If "little" or "nothing" is the answer, then it is best they move on to find something that does provide benefit for their lives.

 

If the program/leadership of the troop cannot provide something of value for the boy, then there's something wrong.

 

Those that do find value in the program never consider the drop-out option. If scouting is the next best thing to sliced bread, why would anyone want to go back to eating watered soup?

 

Every time we offer up the BSA program to the scouts, are we primarily offering something of lasting value or just something that we dreampt up, or something that we found it Wood's Wisdom, etc. Is there depth of understanding, promoting a love of the outdoors, an appreciation of nature, etc. If not, then the boys will drift and life goes on.

 

But if the program is dynamic, alive, interesting and every time the boy goes home he's immediately looking forward to the next time the group gathers, then there will be no need to having to hang on to anyone that is drifting away.

 

Stosh

[Buffalo Skipper]

I certainly understand about scouts whose interest does wane or change. I didn't want to talk about specific cases, but I have 2 scouts who for the most part doing very well. They have good skills, few other interests, and they appear to thrive. Neither have conflicts with other scouts, and both have shown great leadership potential. One is less mature and has shown little interest in pursuing advanced leadership while the other has taken on extra responsiblities and when he is present is obviously engaged. But he is now rarely showing up. These are not the "lost" kids who "need" scouting. These are the younger kids who appear on the surface to enjoy giving to scouts and are involved. I have not seen this happen before.

[Stosh]

Buffalo,

 

Something has changed for these boys. Either it's in his personal life or in the life in the troop. Can't do much if it's in his personal life, but if it's in the troop, you can do lots to fix it.

 

Is he's an older boy has progressed to a point where he is becoming an adult peer with the adult cadre or is he just another boy who has all the responsibility without the rewards or even simple appreciation of leadership?

 

Do the leaders look to him for guidance as they would each other? Do his comments carry some weight? Is he recognized for his efforts in the troop? Does he make decisions that the adults back?

 

Boys of this age seek recognition and acceptance. Is he being accepted by the adults? Just because he's under the age of 18 doesn't mean he can't be viewed and treated as an adult, especially if he is getting to the point where his maturity reflects it. If I bust my butt for the troop and will always be "just a kid" why bother! Worse yet, he ages out, becomes an ASM and is STILL "just a kid"!

 

There's a lot of lip-service bantered around about leadership of the boys, but is it really happening for the boys?

 

I find it evident many times that the boys feel they are trying to do the leadership/maturity thingy, but not getting much traction. It's like they get more and more responsibility, but not the "perks" that go with it and sometimes not even the true authority to get the job done. Have you ever had a SM conference with a boy who made a stupid rule that you publicly backed and yet at a later time visited with the boy in private saying that rule was kinda dumb or unjust?

 

My boys hang around because they are truly needed and appreciated by the adults of the troop. No, they're not perfect and they make mistakes, (so do we as adults) but as long as we have their backs and they don't feel abandoned, they don't tend to want to leave either.

 

My boys all go to bed about 10:00 pm. My youth leadership doesn't have a curfew. The last thing I say to them before heading off to bed is a cheerful reminder to knock down the campfire before they head off to bed. If they are turning in at the same time I help them knock down the fire. It's the same thing I would say to any adult at that point. If it's a boy-led program, these boys are the closest thing to the adults in the group, treat them that way. If one can't treat them as adults, then one has to rely on an adult-led emphasis for leadership.

 

Your mileage may vary,

Stosh

[Lisabob]

"If it's a boy-led program, these boys are the closest thing to the adults in the group, treat them that way."

 

Amen to that.