finish those partials!

[Lisabob 13]

Help me out here. I've got a boy who is enjoying his troop (for the

most part) and who seems to like to start merit badges, but not to finish them. He went to camp this summer, had a pretty good time, and came back with NO merit badges finished - not even the ones that were half-done before he left for camp. Same thing two years ago at camp. Same thing when he went to the district "merit badge day" last year and this year. Lots and lots of partials (at least 15 right now), no end in sight.

 

So far the troop approach has been very hands off - he is always allowed to start yet another MB any time he asks the SM. They don't track partials, or blue cards handed out. The SM probably has no idea that he has 15 or more half-finished MBs already.

 

You can probably guess that this is driving me a little bonkers.

 

I know, I KNOW that advancement is just a method and not an aim. I believe that, really. But isn't there a point where all these partials is a bit ridiculous too? I feel he's learning that it is just fine not to finish what you've started - a bad habit I'd rather not see reinforced. What can I do to encourage him to get at least some of these darn things done? Is there a way to strike a reasonable balance here?

[Eamonn 61]

If this Lad is having fun, sees what he is doing as some sort of an adventure and finds the merit badges he starts as a challenge?

Why is it driving you a little bonkers?

Seems to me that he is enjoying the program and getting a lot out of it.

"Different courses for different horses"?

Ea.

[scottteng 11]

I give my son incentives to finish the remaining requirements on his partials. Some of the requirements need extra motivation like sitting through a county commission meeting! We also go through his MB's B4 camp and pull out the prerequisites for him to do and I give him a bonus amount that I will give him if he comes home with all his MB's completed. The bonus includes a ride to the EB Games store where he will promptly spend every penny. I also give him trading post money for camp which he saves to spend on games as well. He only has one outstanding camp partial left that is Personal Fitness he has not completed his exercise program yet. He does have an open cycling card but a group of boys in the troop are working on that and they lack the longer rides which they will probably complete in the fall. The system seems to work well for him he has 23 MB's on his sash so far. He does tend to lose interest very quickly when not challenged or if something is "boring". I also home school him for this reason. I do not do this for other members of the troop I look at it as a parent responsibility. Not finishing is a very bad habit I am a bad procrastinator myself that is why I am trying to teach him different habits.

[Lisabob 13]

Yeah Eamonn, I hear you. I guess it bothers me because I'm his parent. Because I really dislike seeing things left half-finished, especially when there's only a little bit left to do and it isn't even the "hard" stuff. Because I don't like to see people fall into the "under-achiever" routine, which tends to be a bad road to follow in life. And because, while I'm not asking the troop to "parent" him for me, I'm also thinking he is getting to an age where he's likely to pay more attention to what people other than his parents have to say. Yet I don't know if it is reasonable to ask that the troop keep an eye out for boys, like him, who seem content to just not finish things.

 

Do other troops track partials? Do other SMs keep tabs on how many blue cards (and for what) they've handed out to a kid? If your troop plays a somewhat more active role here, what do you say (that works) to a kid who seems to need a bit of guidance here?

 

He does the same thing with rank advancement, by the way. After 2 1/2 years he only recently earned his 2nd Class. It isn't like he hasn't been active - he attends and participates in practically everything. He just neglects to get his book signed for the things he does, unless someone frog marches him over to an ASM or qualified scout of higher rank with book and pen in hand. I don't think I've ever "pushed" him to do advancement but in the last year I've backed way, way off here. I'm not advocating a hyper-active focus on advancement either, but I'd like to see him find a better balance I guess.

 

I admit, I don't understand WHY he does this and I think that's part of what is making me a little nuts about it.

[GernBlansten 10]

Our unit does not track partials, except for the spreadsheets we get back from summer camp (they don't use blue cards).

On return from summer camp, we meet with each scout and tell them which requirements are unfinished. Its up to them to clean them up. We keep a book with all the spreadsheets from the past 10 years or so. Most never complete them.

The only scouts who finish them, have parents who run herd on them.

I used to do this with my son, but now just let him do it at his pace. Since my change in attitude, he has completed ZERO badges in the past year. He's 3 badges from Eagle.

[Scouter&mom 10]

Lisa,

 

I understand your frustration. But he will do those that he is interested in or sees the reason for, just in his own sweet time. I fight this challenge of not pushing with my son. He is 16 and a Life Scout.. only lacks a finishing up a couple of required badges and sitting down to start getting the approvals to start his Eagle project.. before he was Eagle. He joined the troop at 12, made First Class quickly and then was content to enjoy Scouting with no pressures until just before he was to go to Jamboree in 05 He suddenly decided he wanted to go as Star, so he gathered his paperwork, realized he had done everything, got it documented, and asked for a Board. He actually had his Board on Monday night before he left on Friday to head out to Jambo. Last summer, just before he went to camp for High Adventure, he did the same thing with Life. I know he has several partials that really bug me.. I think the ones that bug me most are his Music and Bugling.. he has had blue cards for over 2 years. He is in Marching Band and plays trumpet.. has played for a number of Scout events too. His middle school BD (who is also asst at High School) and her husband both are MB counselors and were to be the ones for him. He has yet to get them anything showing he has done anything, although he sees one of the two of them nearly every day (just a short gap over the summer since Band has already started back up)

 

one thing I think is going to help, is getting he and a buddy to work together.. We made it to City Council meeting this week, and are scheduled to get together after church on Sun to get most of Cit in Comm completed. These two are going to work on Communications together too, so maybe they will get done. BTW, the buddy is a bit more compulsive about doing things completely.

 

 

[Hunt 11]

Lisa, does the Troop have an Advancement Coordinator? If so, maybe that person would be willing to have a talk with the scout, just to see where he stands with respect to his advancement. As you suggest, boys are often more responsive to such discussions from adults other than parents.

[mtm25653 10]

Lisabob said: I admit, I don't understand WHY he does this and I think that's part of what is making me a little nuts about it.

 

You don't have to understand why, you just have to accept that he is not you, and his priorities are not your priorities.

 

My youngest moved to boy scouts at the earliest possible moment, and earned first class in 9 months so he could go on a big trip with the troop. He is 16 now, and has been Life for 3+ years. He's the best cook in the troop (of the kids) and doesn't have Cooking merit badge. He is teaching blacksmithing this summer and doesn't have Metalworking. He has learned the skills, he just never got them signed off. He earned no merit badges at camp the last 2 summers, but he's working this summer in the program he attended those years. He is a leader at school and in his troop, a good teacher, and a great human being.

 

Is your son learning skills? Is he enjoying the activities (goes on trips because he wants to not because you make him)? Is he developing character, citizenship and fitness? If so, don't worry. He'll finish in his own time.

 

[eagle90 125]

Good Timing!

 

I was just working on partials from camp earlier today. I send the partial card along with a local counselor's name and phone number to the scout, encouraging him to finish the badge ASAP. We will remind them again once we start regular meetings in September, but really pretty much leave it up to their own initiative to finish the partials. Unfortunately the percentage is not usually very good.

[Venividi 35]

Lisabob,

 

After having to deal with a scout (and his parents) that was solely motivated by advancement, but was far from trustworthy, loyal, helpful, etc., I sat down with my son and had a talk with him to tell him that advancement was his choice. I was more interested in seeing him involved with helping his patrol and troop members than Eagle. He did end up with 21 Merit Badges. There were more than a couple that he started and didn't finish, and many that he never started, but would have met most of the requirements just from his other activities (music, sports and reading MB's, for example).

 

There are a number of scouts that I have worked with that were never motivated by advancement, never received Eagle, but I would say they were the equal of any of the best Eagles. They are the ones that I expect to be most successful as adults, because they are excited about what they do, not about awards they earn.

 

You may want to casually ask questions related to some of his partially completed MB's:

"I am thinking about taking a hike on Saturday. What do you think I should take? Anyplace you would recommend? Do you want to go?" (hiking MB)

"Lets listen to my new CD on the way to our family reunion on Sunday." (music MB).

Then it is "hey, I see you just completed xxx" how about calling your MB counsellor tonight after dinner?"

As you recognize, balance between too much pushing and not saying anything is important, and more an art than a science.

 

When I was SM, I didn't keep track of who had started what MB, choosing instead to let any scout go wherever a muse took him. In retrospect, conversations about unfinished MB's and suggestions to complete some before starting on new ones would have been worth considering. Seems there are so many additional things that would have been worth doing. Too bad days are only 24 hours long.

 

 

 

[packsaddle 753]

Lisabob, when I am the main guy for summer camp (where partials are prolific), I take the MB sheets that substitute for blue cards home with me. I make two complete sets of photocopies. The originals I give to the boys with the admonition that if they lose them, don't rely on anyone else to provide the information. Then I give another complete set to the advancement chair and keep a set myself. I keep these until the boys turn 18 and that is when I relieve my file cabinet. So far only one or two boys have needed my backup but the vast majority have needed the troop copy. Usually they learn from that first time. You'd be surprised at how many of those MBs never ever get completed. My son was as bad as any of them, he could have had two more palms but, Naaaaahhhhh.

Oh well. His choice.

[Eamonn 61]

Lisabob

I didn't realize the boy was your son.

While it might (And in fact is!!) a double standard. How you the parent of your child deal with him and how you the Scouter deal with someone else's son is different or can be different.

I have been known to be a real pain in the neck when it comes to getting things which I deem as being important done.

Mainly school work and chores around the house.

OJ and I have (or should I say had?) an understanding that if he ever wanted to quit Scouts he could. He knew that I'd be disappointed, but the choice was his.

Hopefully by now at 19 he kinda understands that there is a method to the madness and the game did have a purpose. Still when he was younger Scouting was just a fun activity. In many ways no different from soccer or the other activities that filled his spare time.

Different parents have different goals for their children.

You are very fortunate that you understand how this game is played and the real meaning of what we (Scouter's) are trying to achieve.

I think if I was the SM in a Troop with a Advancement Coordinator? He would be very bored - I have no idea how to use such a person or why anyone would want or need one!!

A few years back, (About 5 years) Scouting in the UK made a lot of big changes. I read some of the new material and was overjoyed when I seen that they had shifted the empathise from advancement to participation.

Not that there is anything wrong with recognition so long as it is wanted and earned.

As parents we think that our kids will enjoy the things we enjoy and do things the way we do them. This works when they are little as they don't have a lot of choice. As they age they start to want to do things that want to do and do them their way.

Even if and sometimes because it drives us bonkers!!

Ea.

 

[John-in-KC 311]

Lisa,

 

"Finishing what you started" is a good lesson for parents to impart to their kids.

 

As MOM, you have some control over your son. Whether it's homework, a MB, athletics practice, or ..., he doesn't get something else that's pleasant until the work is done.

 

FWIW, my own Eagle had more than 1 or 2 partials, and he also had MBs he could have easily grabbed had he thought to ask for a blue card. That's ok, though, the ones he has he enjoyed taking, and this fall, he's going to take MB counselor training so he can help the 7th graders in Band who are boy scouts!

[kb6jra 10]

Lisabob,

 

Some kids don't have any experience in finishing, just starting. Some adults are like that, too. They don't understand what a great pleasure you get from finishing something until it really happens to them. A sense of accomplishment is learned, it's not an instinct after all.

 

Try helping his finish off a couple of the easy ones just to give him a taste. Get those MB's awarded and maybe he'll take the hint and get going on his own.