drmbear

One of our parents came up with an idea for a Fear Factor Father-Son Event. My thoughts are to connect the event to Spring Recruiting - Join Scouting Night activities. We were going to do food - hotdogs with blood and puss (ketchup and mustard), chips, drinks, a t-shirt for the boy(recruiting tool itself, with pack info, etc. for the event), and a number of gross, slimy, yucky things for the event. Our thoughts are to make it an event with tickets purchased, certainly enough to cover the expenses, but possibly enough to make it a fundraiser as well. The idea is to make it the talk of the school on Monday morning - just in time for our JSN on Tuesday night. Does anyone have any thoughts, ideas, recommendations for such a thing?

It may be taboo to mention this in Scouting nowadays, but I believe that women should not be in the line leadership of Scout Troops. This has absolutely nothing to do with their abilities in Scout skills, leadership, or anything else, because I know without a doubt that there are women that can do these things every bit as well as or even better than men. The critical point, though, is that they cannot be a man, cannot be that "decent male role model," and really cannot be what these boys growing into men really need at this point in their life, no matter how hard they try. This is a case where it is not about "knowing" something, but about "being" something. I've spent a lot of time over the last fifteen years studying what is typically referred to as men's work, looking cross-culturally at things like rites of passage and how men relate to each other and society. Books like Gillette & Moore's "King, Warrior, Magician, Lover" and Robert Bly's "Iron John" are just the start of my search, which also connected me with the Mankind Project (mkp.org) and an ongoing relationship with a great men's gathering (menswork.org).

In our society, men often form only one close, personal, emotional relationship with anyone, and that is usually a spouse. We build barriers around us with almost everyone else, at work, in organizations, in our communities. It's all posturing, starts during these years when we are going through Scouts, and works to separate us from real connection to others. Ask 100 women a trait they would like in men close to them and almost all would say they'd like them to be more emotional. Marvin Allen's book "Angry Men, Passive Men" describes the fact that men's emotions are actually very powerful and we learn to withhold them, particularly around women. Since we usually only have close personal relationship with spouse, it's often not even safe for us to be fully emotional as men with the one person we actually do have a connection with because it's a woman.

The idea of a rite of passage, cross culturally, through history, is to bring a boy into adulthood, but more importantly away from mother into a safe community of men with whom it is okay to be fully emotional as a man. If mom is along at the campout, it just ain't happening, and although it is not possible to provide all elements of this growth process in the Scouting program, it certainly provides a part of it. My son at eight years old isn't uptight about how he looks or being "cool," heading off to school with his hair sticking up in a goofy way until his mom pastes it down. I know that shifts in the next few years. What I remember about my Scouting experience is that posturing and worrying about what anyone else thinks also went away when I was off camping with my patrol and troop. It may have been little windows, but I remember anger, sadness, crying, joy, silliness, depression, freedom, and a full array of emotional expression that would go away completely on Monday morning when they were back in school. In my opinion, having women present takes away the possibility of it being a safe place for this kind of expression.

I could go on, but it's probably enough for now.

Probably the most important thing I learned about raising kids, particularly in getting them to do what you want them to do, I learned from training dogs. Any good doog training guide will explain to you that you NEVER tell a dog what you DON'T want it to do. For example, "don't sit" just causes the dog to sit. I think kids are the same way, and most of the language I hear from parents to their kids is "no" or "don't do that" rather than just telling them what you want them to be doing. Cub Scout aged boys are actually very much like the dogs I trained, eager to please and do the things you want them to do. Give them a purpose or something fun to do, and they go for it with pleasure. Remember that embedded in "don't(or stop) play with sticks" are the words "PLAY WITH STICKS." Since I know they are going to want to play with sticks (they're boys right?), I just set up the "playing with sticks" game where everyone that wants to needs to have a stick, and there are rules to the game(no "don't" rules though): 1) limits on length of stick, 2) stick must stay at least arms length from any other person, 3) you must hit the ground, rocks, trees, and other acceptible things only, etc.

On a similar note, I remember being the only kid in my high school band that actually wanted my own dad(parent) as chaperone for band trips. An incident I remember at a deserted Wildwood< NJ boardwalk the evening before a band competition. Where most of the parent/chaperones favorite words were don't and no, keeping such a tight leash on these teenagers it was stifling, when my dad's group asked him if we could walk down the boardwalk and on the beach that evening he responded, "of course, just stay out of trouble, be back in your rooms by lights out, make sure I know where you are, and have fun." We were actually the only group that had any fun that evening. Almost like that 300' rule, he didn't pester us, and everyone wanted him as chaperone on future trips. If given the opportunity, kids will live up to what you expect.

My dad used to tell stories about some of the most fun he had as a kid, playing hide and seek in the cemetary, particularly near dusk and early evening. My dad lived in the city, and one of the only outdoor spaces available for play was the cemetary, so it makes good sense. Although the circumstance may not have been appropriate, or the occasion, so long as they were not being destructive I see no reason for anyone to be uptight about this kind of play.

I've seen a lot of folks on this thread referring to the use of previous versions of training materials, but not mentioning where to get these materials. I ran my council's week long Troop Leadership Training Course for three years in a row (as a youth) back in the late seventies, and I agree that the new NYLT leaves a lot to be desired compared to the integration of leadership skills and Scout skills into the program. This past spring I went through Woodbadge for the 21st Century, and overall found it useless by comparison to what I learned and taught as a teen. It seems some corporate weenies and "educators" got ahold of this training to make it "better" -- NOT!! The best place I have found for information, course guide, and more about the program we used to run for boy leaders is at: http://www.whitestag.org/ Check out their "Resources For Leadership" guide for a complete rundown of the leadership skills we used to teach. Their program also incorporates all the outdoor skills. It was an incredible pleasure to find all this stuff here, because it took me to the highlight of my Scouting experience, actually more important to me than earning Eagle, and something that has carried over into everything I've done since. I'm currently a Cubmaster, so patrol method is not yet my focus, but self-reliance and confidence, and just knowing you can do things and make things happen is a big part of what we do.

I too am a Cubmaster starting out this year, and my son came in so late in the Tiger year to a den with only one other boy, that I missed the whole concept of how the Tiger year is supposed to work. I was Den Leader for the Wolf Den, and am now also a Bear Den Leader. I've also been talking about all this with my Eagle Scout Brother, Tiger Cub Den Leader and adult partner.

Anyway, since we know how this should be working as a shared leadership situation, this is what I've decided needs to be done with the Tiger Den. Even if you have people that have volunteered to be Tiger Den Leader, I would not even bring it up until the expectations for the den are set up. It seems to me that the Cubmaster is the best person to run this organizational meeting, describing the way the shared leadership works, handing out the assignments, etc. After that is done, then it is okay to talk about anyone that has already said they would take the role of Den Leader. That role should be about keeping up with the schedule, tracking boy's progress, and making sure any needed information is made available. They will also maintain contact with the Cubmaster and leadership team to coordinate with Pack Events.

It seems that if you start off with a Tiger Den Leader assigned, it is just too easy for all the other parents to dump responsibility, and I'm not sure it is possible to recover from that. I'm not having any luck with it in my Pack. I also think it is way too difficult for the Tiger Cub Den Leader to be responsible for establishing the shared leadership concept, particularly if they are also one of the new cub scout parents. I actually accept responsibility for all this, since when I had a pair of volunteers for TDL, I gave them information and let them take on their own job. I'm glad I'll get to do it differently the next couple years.

My interest in this as Cubmaster is that if this is done correctly, and Tiger families get into this concept of shared leadership, it is the foundation for long-term Pack success. Pack support (the Committee and other things needed to make the Pack go) also depends on shared leadership. When those parents have successes and are seen as heroes that first year, it fills in all those other Pack needs in the following years.

If you take a look at the adult requirements for the Year Of Celebration Award, in the section for service are some wonderful ideas. I was amazed at the volunteer opportunities at state and national parks, for example. I just registered at several of the area parks, and I can look into opportunities. Some of the parks even send me notices of opportunities that are appropriate for Cub Scout aged kids. It is not unreasonable to hike a couple of miles on a trail and pick up trash. The "Nothing but Nets" project is a more world oriented project. Anyway, right in line with things connected in some way to Scouting - a good reason they tied them to the Year Of Celebration Award.

http://ww2.scouting.org/100years/100years/AYearOfCelebration.aspx

You talked about "announcement" type things at the Pack Meeting, and the conflict between what you are responsible for and what the CC is responsible for. I heard something about this that sticks with me: "If it is not for the boys, it is for the birds." Our Pack Events (we got rid of meetings, since meetings are usually boring) are really more of a show and involving program from beginning to end. Besides letting the boys know about the exciting things that we'll be doing together in the coming weeks, there are no detailed announcements - all details are covered through Pack Communications, like the newsletter and email program. Think about it, if you start talking dates and times and requirements, it is no longer for the boys - they won't be writing it down. We only have them an hour - those other details can be covered more efficiently with the parents at another time. Once we circle up at the end, in those 30 to 60 seconds I can get them to stand still, I'll throw in my Cubmaster's Minute, a reminder about something we just showed, something from Baloo's Bugle tied to the Character Connection, or something personal on how it applies. Although I usually prepare something, I've found that something that grew out of the previous 45 minutes works better than what I prepared. The way we now run our meetings, after they break is when they get into an activity or game, run around, etc. We have a group of several Boy Scouts that take over at that point and run a game or two after we close from the main event.

I know that http://www.boyscouttrail.com/songs.asp includes a little gizmo to play the tune for lots of the songs at that site. I've gone there to get the tune for some of the songs I've found.

Sometimes you can just put the title in the search engine and find the tune somewhere - I've done that as well.

A very long time ago, as a youth, I ran our council's Troop Leader Training course (like NYLT now) for three years in a row. I spent months training the staff, building a great leardership team, and then running the course during the week that 50 or so participants were there. I learned something about this singing we do all those years ago that is the main reason I do it now as a Cubmaster - breaking down those barriers that create resistance from getting out of comfort zones is where leadership is developed.

We trained the Leadership Corps (staff) to be model Scouts - perfect uniforms, travelling in formation, singing everywhere they go, and always boisterously participating or leading every song at every opportunity. It was always humerous to see these teenage course participants show up the first day or so, thinking how un-cool this singing is, reluctant to participate, and overall thinking we were completely nuts.

We only had them a week, and by mid-week these guys that had no desire to actually sing in public, were just as loud and into it as the Leadership Corps. I'd hear patrols singing together out in the woods and while walking around together. The campfires and such were a blast.

In Cub Scouts, our main goal isn't leadership development, but they still get it in the things we do. The willingness to take action, even if it may be unpopular or un-cool, to stand up for someone, to stop injustice, even to wear the uniform proudly, sometimes takes guts. Whe we as Cubmasters and Den Leaders get up there as adults, are willing to be silly in front of all these families and everyone, and actually KNOW the words to silly songs, it is an amazing thing. It may start that they'll be looking around to see who else is actually singing, but your enthusiasm and ability to engage the other leaders and parents as well, will start to create a shift in the boys. If it's a regular part of what you do as a pack, not only will you have amazing fun, but you'll be shaping future leaders.

What we came up with for the dens is to make the den number the last digit of the year they start at Tiger (or would have if joining later). They keep their den number until they graduate out of the pack. So far we've only had one den per grade/rank, so that has worked fine, but I could see us working with other options if we needed to split a den.

It really is a change of culture. It's not really the Pack Committee Chair trying to be in charge, because even that would be better than this. In the two years I've been here, I was never once invited to a Pack Committee meeting, because there wasn't any. There really wasn't a Pack Committee. There were no planning meetings for the Pack meetings, the former cubmaster did it all himself, I suppose. All last year, there were a total of four or five people that were doing everything. Late last year, about April, I started taking over and set up a meeting to plan the JSN - it was amazing. Gave us a good start on this year. In early August, once we started talking about getting planning going and involving other parents, I got regular pushback from the CC. He didn't even bother to show for the Pack Parent Planning Meeting to launch the year.

One of his comments - you know nothing about leadership, leaders communicate short and to the point. He's made other comments about not reading any email from me beyond the first sentence, and misses things because he won't read the newsletter. Since I'm working to educate folks on how a pack could operate, and because I'm trying to motivate them to take action, it takes more than a brief message to get things moving.

I've also tried to involve the families in solving problems, like a financial crisis that caused a whole lot of boys that were expecting awards at a pack meeting not to get them. Of course, I wasn't told this until I got to the pack meeting, and I had little first graders asking me why they didn't get their Bobcat badge. For some reason he seemed to think that needed to be kept a secret. But when brought up, parents help engage in solving the problem.

All I really want is to just be able to be cubmaster, focus on program and fun, but I am just frustrated by not having someone willing to do what it takes to handle the administrative part of what's needed to allow that to happen.

I am wondering whether anyone here thinks it is a mistake or a problem putting out a contact list (names, phone, email, etc.) to MEMBERS of the Pack. My church publishes a directory of both members and friends, my son's t-ball, soccer, and basketball teams all put out rosters, etc. It seems reasonable that if I am working to develop more shared leadership in the Pack, asking parents to be actively involved in putting on Pinewood Derby, Blue & Gold banquet, and more, that they should be able to get in touch with each other. It seems unreasonable to me to have someone agree to coordinate the holiday parade float (for example) and be saying: "You'll probably want at least three or four additional folks to work with you on that, but I am not going to give you a way to get in touch with other Pack families."

Behind this issue - I am a new Cubmaster this year working with a Pack Committee Chair that has done nothing but complain about my leadership style, even when I am getting lots of great positive feedback from other parents in the Pack. Two months ago, the Pack Committee consisted of the CC and his wife serving as Treasurer (reluctantly). We had four people, including me and the CC, that were all den leaders and doing everything. In the last two months I recruited and got trained at least two den leaders per den and four or five new committee members, without help or support from the CC. Groups of parents, other than den leaders, are working together to plan and coordingate holiday parades, the pinewood derby and blue & gold banquet.

With rechartering around the corner, we just finalized our current membership roster, and I put out a clean contact list to the Pack, organized by den. Seemed to make perfectly good sense to me. But I was criticized again by the CC, saying it is was a mistake to send out the list. Do you put out a roster to your Pack?