Baggs,
This could be the "dirty little secret" of Scouting.
It's the thing that everyone knows, or as you say, "the youth know it."
Keeping dirty little secrets is not healthy.
I frame this truth in terminology that helps others understand what's going on.
That is: Scouting Insiders and Scouting Outsiders.
The Insiders are the parent/leaders wearing Scout uniforms, attending every camping trip, going to Philmont, etc.
The Outsiders are parents who take a hands-off approach, and let their son have the character-building experiences of dealing with an Insider-run bure