Another job as a parent

This is a spinoff, I just couldn't make the spin off work. Or I didn't understand it. Take your pick!

Another discussion asked what ever happened to pride in scouting.

http://www.scouter.com/Forums/viewThread.asp?threadID=258363

Well, after having a few days to think about it, I realized that parents have a bigger role in how the scouts feel about scouting. On the surface, things like forcing a kid to join will obviously make him resent scouting. Holding accomplishments over his head - such as holding back a driver's license until he gets Eagle will cause resentment.

But what about the not so obvious stuff?

If you attend den/ pack/troop meetings with your son, do you just stay seated when everybody else rises for colors or reciting The Pledge of Allegiance?

If there is a groups singing going on, do you sing too, or just sit acting like you are too cool to participate?

Do you answer you cell phone to talk about yesterday's football score or talk about who said what to whom after they wore that dress to church...during the scout oath, promise or motto? Do you even let your phone ring or do you set it to vibrate just in case it goes off during the pledge?

Now, I take my phone with me at all times. You just never know when an emergency will arise. And as far as I know, emergencies don't wait until after pack/troop/ den meetings are over. But I set it to vibrate.

As for participating, I will raise my hand in a scout salute when reciting the Pledge of Allegiance and the Scout oath/ promise/ motto.

I'm not entirely sure if I should put my hand over my heart as I am not a scout, or is I should do the scout salute as this is a scout function and I want to support my son.

I will sing along with everybody else even though I sound like a drunk cow in heat! My son doesn't care that I can't carry a tune, he just knows that I'm singing too.

Matter of fact, when he makes those sideways glances at me, he sees one thing for sure:

That I don't think I'm above or too good to stand up for colors, recite the Pledge of Allegiance, the scout oath. promise, and motto. He sees that I'm not too good to sing and dance with all the other scouts. I just wish my dancing was as half as good as my singing!

As far as I can tell,my son is proud to be a scout.Mybe because I'm proud of him too.

But I guess if I didn't care about scouting, or acted like it was a joke...he'd have no reason to be proud either.

So it was just a thought of mine, but isn't our outward apperance just as important as any other thing we do in scouting?

Isn't it our job as a parent to not only help our kids in scouting, but to SHOW them as well?

I feel the involvement of non-registered parents should be to get their boys to the meetings/outing/etc, and pick them up on time. If they attend the meetings, they should not be involved in what their son's do but be supportive of the adult leadership in the unit. If parents want to be more involved in their son's unit, fill out the form & pony up the registration fee & get trained.

Flag Etiquette - If you are not a scouter in uniform, your hand should be over your heart during the Pledge of Allegiance. Scouts only use the scout salute when in uniform.

Our pack expects everyone at the pack meeting to participate. We think it's good modeling for the boys for the reasons you describe. Of course we still have the parents in the back socializing, etc, but the scoutmaster is not shy about asking for participation and letting the adults know why we expect it.

evmori; At out den meetings, space is very limited. Too many parents would indeed be counter productive.

But at Pack meetings, everybody is expected to attend as a whole unit. this is when we hand out awards, give recognition to scouts, have duplicate crossovers for those who could not attend te official ceremonies , and just have general announcements.

This is also a time to show parents who do drop off their kids, what goes on during the other times.

At the very least, parents should not act like they are too good to do what they expect their kids to do.

Again, at den meetings, I totally agree with you!

Back in my Cubmaster day, the only thing I expected the parents to do at Pack meetings was pay attention and take charge of the Cub's siblings so they were not running amuck! Other than that, if they wanted to participate in saying the Pledge or other things their sons were reciting, that was up to them.(This message has been edited by evmori)

We get great parent participation at den meetings and pack meetings (and we have lots of registered parents who help out at troop meetings.)

If you attend, I think it's certainly a responsibility to not be disruptive or disrespectful. With Cub Scouts, the boys will very much take their cues from you. With Boy Scouts, less so. But the comments you make, the attitude you show, it all has an effect.

And there certainly is a pretty significant correlation between the kids whose parents are registered leaders, and the kids who stick with the program.

Another thing that irks me is when parents will watch their own kid get a badge, belt loop, arrow point or progress bead, but wiil stand up and leave during another kids moment in the spot light.

Last year, my son was a Wolf Cub, and the awards were presented (in order of) Tiger, Wolf, Bear, WebI , Web II

Even though my son was finished, we sat through the whole thing and clapped for all the kids at the appropriate time.

My son asked why we were staying, and i told him:

1) The meeting isn't over - we haven't been excused yet

and

2) "Remember how good you felt when everybody clapped and recognized you?" When he said yes, I asked him :"Don't you think the other scout would like that great feeling too?"

AS far as I can tell, he truely gets it now.

Evmori...just one more ting...In my pack, most regitered parenst started out as active non-registered parents. Sure, it would be great to say that they should register first, but alot of parents may do just that , only to find out 3 meetings later that they don't want to help or it's not what they expected.

Let parents help you where needed, and the one who enjoy it.... they will register!

I know too many parents are actually a bad thing, but usually, an active parent will turn into a ADL, DL or some other position in time. Everybody started somewhere.(This message has been edited by scoutfish)