Bad Parent

[MarkS 11]

The best way to eliminate the mailstorms and the annoying reply/alls is to simply hide your distro list rather than publish it when send your emal. Instead of sending email using the "To" box, use the "BCC" box for your distro. It's less work than a moderated email group. However, those do come in handy.

[Crew21_Adv 25]

Pmarius,

 

Greetings and welcome to the forum!

 

You have been given excellent advice already!

 

To use a few common clichs "You worst enemy, may someday become your best Ally" Some have suggested that the Committee ask her to assume a committee job or role.

 

Also, an oldie but a goodie (but maybe not too politically correct "Put up, or shut up!" may equally apply.

 

Your bad parent may be identifying shortfalls, which I would be thankful for. But not to the extent that is all she is doing. "Everyone's a critic" and "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion"

 

I have stated in committees and also at work. I don't care for all your complaints, unless you can come to me with a resolution. If you can do it better, by all means, please do it.

 

I can certainly tell you. I have participated in a few High Performance Teams or Packs and Troops, and some moving towards improvement. But even in the best High Performing Teams, there are occasional "bumps in the road".

 

Now some other fellow forum members have recommended revoking her membership and maybe her son's membership. Membership revocation may have to be done, for the benefit of the Troop. If that is the final solution, please, advise their family of other Troops in the neighborhood and community. If you are in a very rural area, Lone Scouting may apply.

 

Another clich', "One man's trash, is another man's treasure". This bad parent may be the best thing that ever happened to another neighboring Troop.

 

Scouting Forever and Venture On!

Crew21 Adv

 

[John-in-KC 311]

I really do hope pmarius comes back, both to give us additional backstory as we've commented, and to receive our feedback.

 

 

[red feather 10]

Ditto with John, need specific information in order to provide proper suggestions. Been there before and hope never to have to do it agian.

 

Pmarius, welcome to the campfire and please give us more info.

 

yis

 

[red feather 10]

Ditto with John, need specific information in order to provide proper suggestions. Been there before and hope never to have to do it agian.

 

Pmarius, welcome to the campfire and please give us more info.

 

yis

 

[Eagle Foot 10]

pmarius,

 

I've had that more than several times. You've got some good advise here from this great forum of people. I in the past and even today I make it very clear to everybody the decention amoung the ranks is not permitted. We just can not allow this, and if it continues then we...we being the Troop Committee will have to ask you not attend any meetings or activities or be involved with the Unit other than the Scout. If this can not happen...then you must find another unit that would support this behavior (don't know of any that would)...but first in the order of things I bring them to the unit Committee after I have sent them a letter explaining the problem...you must get to the point...get it out...you must fix it or get or out of the way...this is a movement that can't be stoped with decention amoung the ranks. Get advise from your DE, COR, and Committee Chair. Review the Scout Oath...if this does not conform to any part of the Oath, then it's not Scouting.

 

From my experience a letter corrected the problem...they backed off, unfortunantly they usually left the unit with the scout when they realized that the unit committee was not in their favor. (people will leave) you have to expect this...you are much better off without these kinds of problems.

 

We have a saying "What's the hardest thing about advancement or earning a Merit Badge"..........Getting Started....

 

Remember Scouting is by invatation...you do not have to except everyone...we are very casual about joining, but it is by invatation, we are private.

 

I make it crystal clear that negative consultation amoung others was not excetable...but since they were so... would they present their concerns to the unit committee and in addition...present a full plan (to the committee) as to how they could correct the problem(s) with workable solutions that followed BSA policy and the scouting way. In addition please forward scouting history along with BSA training history (or lack of) and when (if not already) will training be compleat? In addition how do they see themselves as a leader...a trained leader. They should come prepared (to unit committee meeting) with this imformation prepared (Scout Moto "Be Prepared". (who knows you may have a great leader that just needed a little training and tameing)

 

I also recommended that if becoming trained was a problem then assisting with the unit requires training (everyone else should also be trained...what's good for the goose you know).

 

In our Boy Scout Troop we only allow adults to go camping if they have compleated the on-line training for youth pertection.

 

If your unit is Cub Scouts then this presents a problem because the parent needs to be there...they still need to know where the unit and BSA stands.

---EVERY BOY DESERVES A TRAINED LEADER---

 

If your unit is Boy Scouts then there is more room to move. Scout stays, they deliver and pick up their scout.

 

We are not here getting paid the big bucks for the parents...our big pay back comes from the boys.

 

Scouting has been around a long time and each unit needs to adjust to it's own, but the movement "keeps on truckin" (dating myself)... she won't be the first and she won't be the last.

 

At Unit committee meetings "Roberts rules of Order" should be followed, it's the rules of the meeting. http://www.robertsrules.com/

 

Get the unit to review these (if it hasen't already)the committee chairman conducts the unit committee meeting. Good idea to follow...it may seem to much at first, but once they use it...meetings start on time and finish on time. We need to follow a format if we don't everybody will be waiting for the program to kick in with 25 screaming scouts running around and not going anywhere.

 

 

Edited by: Eagle Foot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[pmarius 10]

I want to thank you all for your advise. I am a CC and I have confronted here reciently with the basic "I am concerned about your ability to positively influence the troop. I personally have to sign off on your membership applicaiton and right now I am not felling that you are going to make a positive contibution." With that she has withdrew her applicaiton for Adult leadership. Which means that she will not be allowed to supervice any events for our troop.

The sad part on all of this is that her son is great, and really need Scouting. She has been told now by me and some few others that know her personally that she is not to do that agin, or else. I just hope she doesn't call my hand. Because I would hate to have her kid hurt. I have asked her to consider another troop, she is going to send her kid on the summer camp with the troop still. But next fall she may be out. One can only hope.

 

BTW. She has been a threat to some of the adult leaders as she is constantly telling them about liabilities. She works in one of the biggest law firms in town. So I have had to double check on our activities to make sure we are doing EVERYTHING properly.

 

I'll keep you posted.

[ScoutNut 147]

"She has been a threat to some of the adult leaders as she is constantly telling them about liabilities. She works in one of the biggest law firms in town. So I have had to double check on our activities to make sure we are doing EVERYTHING properly."

 

 

OK, so this is a problem how?

 

You have other people's children in your charge!

 

You are also responsible for the good name of both the BSA and your Charter Organization. Not to mention the funds of your Charter Organization.

 

Double checking on activities to make sure EVERYTHING is done safely & correctly is part of the job.