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John,

 

I understand what you are saying about how we shouldn't plan for kids to fail but, I also understand that scouts isn't for everyone and some kids will drop out. I know these kids pretty well and I know that the two kids that are the hardest on my son hate to come in second. When we get back from summer camp and they see how far behind they are they will be very upset. One of these kids is a spoiled only son, he gets very frustrated if he doesn't get his way. The other kid is the only one in my Webelos den that didn't get the arrow of light. He blew off two campouts I set up with the Boy Scout Troop for his final requirement. I refused to set up a third campout, the second one was just for him and he didn't show up or call. He told me a day before the campout that he would be there and he didn't show up. He almost refused to cross over because he didn't get the arrow of light. I have talked to both of these kids parents to keep them in scouting and I tried to get them to go to camp. I had raised enough money for all of my scouts to go to camp for free but, they decided they didn't want to go.

 

At some point I am going to get tired of keeping a kid in scouts that doesn't want to be there. I am not planing on them failing but, I can see them dropping out.

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fullquiver,

 

I have continually tried to address these issues with the boys and both their fathers' are adult leaders in the troop and are both very helpful and supportive, though I'm not sure have a real understanding yet for how the program should work yet. I told both boys the other day that if I didn't start seeing more scoutlike behavior from both of them, that they would be removed from their POR..which really ticked them off because they -refuse- to see that they are causing their OWN problems! We had gone to camp on Friday and had a "discussion" with both boys over issues that were going on. Both have good -raw- leadership ability, so I am trying to be patient with them and teach them and help them develop..but when they seemingly refuse to accept MY authority as the SM to see that we are running a BSA program, it makes things difficult!! It's also hard when most of the troops in the area do not necessarily run a strict BSA program, so everytime I try to set off for a new "goal" (remembering that I'm moving from adult to boy led!) for the boys to reach, I hear "none of the other troops around here do it that way!!!"..which is not totally true but it's their excuse then for either ignoring or overriding me when I'm not there!

 

sue m

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Hang in there Sue (or come join our troop!). And I guess at some point I'd be really tempted to call them on it. "None of the other troops do it that way? That's right, and you're welcome to join one of those other troops if you prefer. But here's how we're doing it because this is the way the BSA program is designed." One thing you don't need is "leaders" who undermine the program. Sheesh.

 

Lisa'bob

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In both Joe and Sue's posts, I don't see mention of how the adult leadership is working together to address these problems ( maybe they are, its just not mentioned ).

 

My staff and I meet monthly and correspond via email in between, on any outstanding problems or issues with our scouts. Having all the ASM's and SM on the same page really helps to alleviate and minimize any problems we encounter.

 

Joe, seems like you are taking a lot upon yourself here. My thoughts are that you should slowly work yourself into the position of authority with the current staff's assistance. Furthermore, I would not concern myself with keeping the bad apples. Finally, you should not be concerned with how the other adults view your actions. If you treat all the scouts the same way at all times, the parents will have no basis to complain. ( If they complain anyway, you'll be perfectly justified in ignoring them. )

 

Sue, I'm thinking you need to actively engage the parents in a SM conference with the problem scouts ( bring in an ASM or two also ). Give the adults a heads-up on what you are going to say, so you have a unified approach and the scout won't be able to complain about their mean scoutmaster to mommy and daddy. Set some goals for expected behavior ( make them small goals at first, then progress towards larger ones ).

 

 

That's my $0.02 for what its worth...

 

Good Luck!

 

 

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