Unwanted Gift?

[Eamonn 61]

The countdown is on. In three weeks we start NE-IV-153. This will be my first and last time as a Wood Badge course director.

In fact, I have just returned from our final development weekend.

The staff are really good and have all gone above and beyond. I feel certain that they will do an outstanding job.

The Course is full, in fact we have permission from the Region to add a extra patrol.

As most people know I am a very easy going little fellow. But as far as training goes I do insist that we follow the syllabus. We don't add anything or leave out anything.

It has become one of those issues that the staff pull my leg about. Saying that they will be hit by a bolt of lightning, if they try to add or change things.

For my part. Without wanting to blow my own trumpet. I have worked really hard on this, spending hours reading and re-reading the syllabus, sending E-mails, making charts along with a lot of other "Happy Stuff."

As a Thank You gift to the staff, I have had a local cabinet maker make each staff member a flip chart holder. One that will hold a small desktop flip chart.

The chap who is making them is one of the district training chairmen and he has cut me a break.

Now here is my problem, I know that the staff are going to buy me something.

I have made it known, through my mentor that I don't want anything. In the past there have been chunks of glass, some in the shape of Timmy Tenderfoot, some that look like a mountain.

I have no need for this stuff and it is a waste of money.

The recognition for being the course director is a certificate and a set of four beads. That is fine and dandy with me.

I have asked that if they feel that they must do something, that I would prefer that they put the money towards a Campership for a Cubscout or Boy Scout who might need need it. Or make a donation to the endowment fund.

Somehow I don't think that this is going to happen.

Am I being a little pig headed? Should I just smile and say thanks?

Eamonn

[purcelce 11]

Smile and say thanks.

Every Christmas I get something from my grandmother that is somehting I don't need or is a waist of money. But I say thanks, kiss my grandmother, and rush right out to exchange it without her knowing it.

 

[acco40 95]

A waist of money? Your grandmother must be one heck of a cook!

[Fat Old Guy 11]

Continue trying to make your feeling known and then when they hand you the chunk of glass, dash it to the ground so it breaks into a thousand pieces. :-) KIDDING! Just smile and say thanks.

 

Too many people feel compelled to waste money on gifts. I feel sorry for elementary school teachers who get inundated with gifts from students every year.

 

On second thought, I believe that it is women who are fixated on the gift giving. How many father's worry or even care about what to get Junior's 3rd grade teacher? If men were in charge of wedding gifts they'd all be cash, cigars, and few power tools. If your "course director gift" was up to guys, you'd get your beads and a bottle of Irish whiskey but if a woman isn't involved directly, she's behind the scenes says, "how can you get him that? Does he even like Irish whiskey? You really need to get him something meaningful like a chunk of glass that will collect dust for the next 50 years."

 

 

 

[Bob White 20]

Hi Eamonn,

I guess I would ask myself, why am I buying momentos for them? As a thank you? To show true appreciation for sharing their personal skills to help others? As a remembrance of your time together?

 

My guess would be that the same reasons you are doing a act of kindness for them are the reasons they want to do one for you. Sometimes the hardest thing for a volunteer to do is to accept a thank you. I'll bet your participation as the course director has given these folks a lot of things. An education, sense of accomplishment, opportunity, fellowship, just to name a few.

 

Allow them a moment to say "thank you", and when you look back at that chunk of glass rock you can remember that you spent time with a special group of scouters and they appreciated who you were, and what you shared with them.

 

Bob White

 

 

[saltheart 10]

Eamonn,

 

A couple of scenarios to imagine, if you will. Having had the opportunity to serve more than once as course director (before the rules were changed) I can understand the sentiments. But the sword cuts both ways.

 

Imagine yourself going through the effort to recognize the efforts of your staff by way of more than just a certificate, beads (because they get three), and a handshake and thanks, only to learn that the staff doesn't want anything and would rather the money and effort be directed elsewhere. You're seeking that something special, just from you, to say thank you to those who are making your course as spectacular as it can be. Allowing them their own way to return the thanks is appropriate. Remember that special feeling you probably had at the end of your first adventure on staff. Someone might have said thanks to you in their own special way. And you allowed that. How great it is to accept thanks in whatever fashion it is offered.

 

Now imagine that you've got yourself all worked up about this, and at the end, your staff simply says thanks for a great time guy, and goes home.

 

Myself, I'd rather share the moment in whatever fashion the group desires, and be greatful that I had the opportunity. But, that's just me.

 

[Fat Old Guy 11]

"My guess would be that the same reasons you are doing a act of kindness for them are the reasons they want to do one for you."

 

A big difference is that Eamonn's gift is useful and the chunk of glass is . . . well, it really serves no purpose other than to collect dust.

[Bob White 20]

I guess, I see the reasons for, and sentiment carried, by the momento as more important than the amount of dust it is capable of collecting.

 

Bob White

BW

B;)B

Bobby

Bobster

B Ditty

Bobarino

Bobolicious

The Bob Man

The Bob Meister

Bob Bob Aloobob A Bob Bam Boom

 

[Fat Old Guy 11]

I'd guess that most men would want a useful gift than a dust collector. Not a bottle of Irish whiskey because that will vanish with time. However, if you are given a nice pocket knife or pen, everytime that you use that item for the rest of your life, you'll be reminded of those who gave it to you. On the other hand, the chunk of glass goes on a shelf where it is rarely seen and eventually the wife puts it in a drawer because it either doesn't go with the decor or she wants the shelf space for a Lladro.

[dsteele 20]

Eamonn:

 

I know you and I appreciate you. I hope your staff takes your suggestion and puts a few bucks into a campership in your name. If your Wood Badge Coordinator passes the word along, I would guess that they will.

 

If not, accept the bauble with the honor in which it is intended and move on.

 

And sleep well knowing that your influence as a Scouter has multiplied far more than you will ever know.

 

Your Friend,

 

Dave

 

DS

[Eagle74 10]

Much like you I am satisfied with and much happier with a simple "thank-you."

 

But, I think of it the same way as I think of a funeral. Funerals are for the satisfaction of the living; it doesn't really matter to the guy in the casket whether it's a simple goodbye or a lavish affair.

 

Somewhere along the way I learned that my gracious acceptance of a thank-you or gift often times gave as much (or more) satisfaction to the giver than the gift did to me. If your wishes are taken to heart, great! If not, smile, graciously accept, and move on.

 

I affectionately tell my wife that at some point when it is my time to meet with the great scoutmaster of all scouts, my family will have to figure out what to do with all that stuff boxed away in the attic - and someone will buy it at a yard sale, at a good price - guaranteed!

[purcelce 11]

arrco, My grandmother is getting up in the years. Last year I got sweater, but it was two sizes too small and had Scooby Doo on it....

[red feather 10]

Just a thought, the giving of such a gift is not just for the recipient. It is the feeling of those giving it. Kinda like a Eagle Court, not only is it the awarding of the Eagle but it is also for the parents and those who helped them get there.

 

The presentation of such a thing is for all involved... not just the one recieving.

 

Accept with honor and with pride.

 

yis

[Eamonn 61]

Ok,now I feel like a real louse.

Thanks for the friendly kick in the pants.

I will smile and say thank you.

Still $200.00 is a lot of money to spend. I can think of a lot of better things to spend it on.

But I think that everytime I spend money on cigarettes.

I suppose that at the end of the day, it is their money and they can do what they like with it.

Eamonn

[NJCubScouter 1389]

$200 does seem like a lot of money to spend on something like this.

 

But, obviously, you must be worth it.

 

Smile and say thanks.