imachristian13
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Everything posted by imachristian13
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@@JoeBob - I'm actually well past the hurt in this. I will ask you what I asked @@HICO_Eagle. What would you do differently in the "approach"? -
@@HICO_Eagle - While I do thank you for your comment and sharing your message on your scenarios with your Autistic Scouts, I do want to comment on an aspect of your commentary that is far off the mark. Tell me how you would have done this differently. Our Son was invited to visit the Troop by his own friend who was involved and whose father is a family friend as well as an ASM and a Commissioner. After the initial visit and before committing to joining, we sat down (my wife and I) with the Committee, SM and most of the ASM team (including the two ASMs we've been discussing all al
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Your point is well taken with one critical exception. Saying that "this is more than I can handle" would have been fantastic! Even though they had agreed to take on our son, they always had the out - it was written in the Committee minutes that way at MY insistence so that everyone was clear. All they had to do was say "can't do it anymore...now what?" Instead, they took all of the negative steps that have been discussed all along. We are moving ahead. They have chosen to continue to be inappropriate in their actions BUT that's OK...we are all about moving ahead.
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It actually only became grounds for the 2 ASMs to raise a negative tone toward our family - not expulsion from the District. SM is worn out - can't serve the other boys if he has no ASMs anymore. That's what would happen if he spoke up we believe.
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What little we know? What don't you know? The expectations of his autonomy were actually too low.
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To reiterate - we did not demand this obligation - we asked for their commitment and they agreed that they were willing to make the effort. And, as an aside, enough with the quotes on our training them, OK? When you are fully trained in how to do something, describing it as such is fully proper.
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Hi - thanks for commenting. I won't tell you that you don't understand. I will tell you that you didn't pay attention to something I've been saying all along. The beginning of our relationship with this troop was a sit-down meeting between the SM, the ASMs (including the 2 involved in our concern), and the majority of the entire Committee. At this meeting, we - in essence - asked permission for our son to join the troop. We explained what they would be dealing with from his point of view as well as our intended level of involvement. Had they not agreed to take on our son, we would not be i
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While I do recognize that you are playing Devil's Advocate, I think you are missing one important thing. Our son had BOTH parents onsite for every meeting. We had been as interactive in the meetings as we were permitted to be by the other ASMs and SM - always stepping in when our son went outside of the parameters that the boy leaders could handle (or the ASMs for that matter). The only time that there has been any concern is on local service outings or local campouts - both of which were approved by the SM and ASMs for us to step out so he could have a bit more normal of an experience.
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What makes kids who don't play video games and/or who obey their parents earn the label of "Stepford Children"? Is it that much of a stretch that this happens?
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Quite the contrary. The now-former troop members were very strong in how they interacted with our son. When that wasn't working, the SM and ASMs (even those two) encouraged the SPL, PL, etc. to seek us out as well as other opportunities to learn about how to make everything work. The issues we had came, primarily, when the scenario grew past the abilities of the available members; thus, requiring adult involvement. I have to ask something to all of you here. The basis for how to interact with our son when he is in crisis is not complex. As an adult, unless you are having a bad day yourse
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Well, Dr. Qwazse, here's my thoughts... Our son has been in on the discussion from before we switched from Royal Rangers to BSA. We were "wrong" because we trusted the adult leaders to communicate properly with us. We were wrong because we believed that the adult leaders would keep their own commitment to assisting us in making our son's experience positive. We were wrong, lastly, for not recognizing that - despite our being right there in front of them at (almost) all times - these folks were displeased with how things were happening. There are no issues with the boys of the troop -
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@@DuctTape - I certainly understand the Devil's Advocate angle. The problem is that I am usually the one playing that role in our community. Before posting these threads in the first place, I have already played all of the visible sides out in order to present a fair (and as unbiased as possible) view. The response from the district and from the SM - coupled with the reactions we have received from other SMs when we request a visit (usually "Oh...you are coming from THAT troop?") - I think I'm on solid ground. We are moving on either way.
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Hey folks! Your sense of humor and solid advice - each and every one of you - really helped me get through these past few days. I really appreciate the willingness to help.
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Humor me on something? Would you go through it and point me to the 11 points you see? I'm so jaded to it, I'd love to see what you see. If it's not a lot of stress. Thanks.
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A couple of thoughts. First, I'm not sure if there is anything else lying underneath. Second, the reason I don't know is because these folks didn't tell us any of this until last night. Third, we didn't come in the door and say "we are here, we will train you." We were invited in by another scout and his family. We sat down with leadership to determine that they were interested in trying this out. We told them that our goal was to share all we knew to help them succeed for all of the boys' sake. Like you, I despise those who expect "special treatment" for our type of kids. We are onl
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We have 4 other troops that would make sense. The one that we were looking at (where the ASM overstepped) is not looking like a good fit for other reasons (nothing bad, just preferences). The other three are recommendations from the DE and others who have departed the current troop. Two of them already have had success with special needs scouts which make them attractive to us. The third is just a strong troop with a good reputation. We are trying to find a camping option for him to do this summer - inside or outside of scouting. That's really the only thing we are missing.
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Good morning everyone. If you have been following my past two threads (linked below for your convenience), you know that my wife and I were headed to the Troop Committee last night. We had decided that we were going to withdraw our son from the troop but we still felt it important that we understand why our experience had gone sour. In addition, we wanted to address the husband and wife ASMs regarding their personal actions. Present were our District Executive, the Committee Chair, the Scoutmaster, the husband and wife ASMs, three additional ASMs, and a few others. The only thing that I do
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Well...everyone can stay tuned. The meeting was a whole mess of "fun". Totally not what we were expecting. The good news is that it is now over as far as our son's involvement with the troop. We will be moving on in that sense. (This was OUR decision I must add - not theirs) I'll catch you all up tomorrow. Thanks!
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Camp Outs are not where these problems lie. We have been either personally in place or been cleared by the SM to take a trip off. Those have been just fine. The local outings and service projects are the issue. It's just a communication matter now.
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Trying to answer some of the questions/comments since I was last on. We have the DE coming to tonight's meeting. He is doing so not only at our request but, also, at the request of the SM and the CC. Our SM is very strong in working with the boys. His gifts in doing the same with adults are not so much. We believe that he is trying very hard to tread lightly on both "sides" of this for fear of a bad overall outcome. I don't really blame him. Our CO is a bit hands-off. I'm going to leave them on the outside until after tonight's meeting because our final result is not going to be the Committ
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Thanks everyone! Sincerely. Our most pressing need is to determine what this troop is really all about. I say this because our Son is "stuck" on why he must leave the troop. I mean this in an Asperger's way. We need to have all of these things cleaned up before we leave - or even if somehow we end up staying and turning this troop on its ear, we need him to be ready to move forward. Plus, we feel strongly that these folks need to at least recognize their errors (not that they have to change - they likely won't I imagine). It's amazing - we were reading back through all of the literature th
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Well...here we go even farther down the path. In the prior discussion, the ASMs had reported our son's behavior "problems" to potential new troops. Now, we come to find that they went up the chain even farther, asking for him to be removed altogether. The first step, as we understand it, is the Troop Committee meeting that they were, at first, having without us tomorrow. If our troop removes him, then these two have already submitted a tentative request to the next level up (I believe this is the District Round-table?). We know that dealing with our son is not easy. We, also, know that we
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@@andysmom We are PAINFULLY clear on the Boy-led aspect of this troop. There is a line between Boy-led and UN-led. Further, when my son has suggested organizational needs on his own, he has been "outvoted" by his troopmates. For example, if another boy is in charge of purchasing food for a camp out there is no planning and frequently not enough to eat for everyone. If it's my son's turn, he makes menus and shops so that they'll all eat like kings for the same amount of money as the other scenario. Despite the fact that everyone oohs and ahhs over the better result, they don't want to even
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@@andysmom The SM and CC are just not reacting to this much at all. I'm not sure why. We are trying to connect with them today in fact. The DE and DC have recommended the two other troops in the area that might be options and we are pursuing them at this time. It's so frustrating. If this troop would have some vision for kids like these, especially in terms of organizational scenarios (our meetings are very haphazard as are our activities), it would be so much better for everyone involved.
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Hi again everyone. @@scoutldr certainly has a point. We, as parents, work hard to make sure that we don't put people in places that THEY can't handle. We spend a lot of time working on strategies for our son to self-manage his needs so that these types of incidents have become few and far between. In the case of these 2 ASMs, however, we have worked directly with them to put steps in place for their benefit (as well as our son's). When they want one of us to be on site for an event, we are there. (We are there at every meeting already). We have taken additional steps to better understand
