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What is proper protocol?

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  • What is proper protocol?

    My Joey recently joined scouts and enjoyed his first year. It as a bit of a busy and crazy year due to there being 18 boys in my son's den. This year another mom stepped up to split the den in half. The problem is that the split put all the behavior issue kids all in one den. I am very concerned about going into this year with his den being so small and over half the children in the group do not listen or behave. The leader is not one who is good with controlling the troops. (his son is one of the biggest issues). I don't think the groups were distributed fairly and don't want to go into yet another year with crazy scouting. Who do I need to speak to about this situation or do we just need to deal with it which I fear will lead to quitting scouts.

  • #2
    Who decided on which Cubs to split into which den, and what logic did they use? How small is your Den?

    If a parent has a problem with the way the Den works, they should talk with the Den Leader. If there is a problem with the Den Leader, it should be brought to the Cubmaster (who technically is supposed to help select the Den Leaders), but is often brought to the Committee Chair (the real power of deciding who the adult leaders are going to be, usually).

    Small Dens (6 or less) can be a boon for troubled kids, it gives the leader a chance to work with each kid individually, its easier to direct, and its easier to start projects. There is less "talking over the Din of Chaos" going on. 18 is an insane number, even a 50% split (9) leaves two dens that are starting to tip the scales. 6-8 is the recommended size.

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    • #3
      The leader is just not strong. His own child is much of the problem so I don't see that dynamic changing. And the logic that they used was maintaining friendships which is disastrous in this situation. As a school teacher we are careful to mix up kids with new friends to get the best behavior. Honestly I think the disgruntled parents all moved out of the den and those of us who chose to see it through got stuck in the other den. I think the way the split was made was not in the best interests of the kids, but the list was published and sent to all parties so it won't be changing unless someone else get involved.

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      • #4
        18 in a den was way too big and in fact should have been 2-3 dens from the beginning (national guidelines: 6 to 8 boys in the den). I see a few options here: 1.) you can request via the cubmaster or the committee chair that the pack transfer your son to a different den. 2.) You can step up and offer to assist your den leader, especially with his own son (leaders often tag team to deal with each other's kids). 3) as a last resort, transfer to a nearby pack, which may be more difficult as packs are often tied to schools and your son's friends may not be in the new pack.

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        • #5
          sticky for sure.....
          my son's den started at 13 I think it was, floated around 12.... after a few drops and move aways, and some new boys we settled on 10 last year, around 8 really active. I would say that's a good tipping number.
          Our Tiger den last year settled on 5. I think that would be a really great number, especially if most or all are active.

          Maybe you could step up and volunteer to lead a split from your "bad-boy" den. Assuming you split to 9 & 9, that would make your den around 4 or 5 boys. Even if you have a couple "bad-boys" it would be much more manageable, especially if you set clear guidelines for the parents to police it so you don't have to. Recruit another parent as assistant, even if unofficial..... and you'd likely be able to control things nicely and have a really fun program.
          Just an idea......
          OR..... if there's no ADL in your new den, maybe you could do that.

          You didn't say his grade..... are you starting wolf year?
          Regardless, get the boys out of the chairs and outside whenever possible. Work on volley ball belt loop, ultimate loop, play a game of dodge ball, stomp rockets were a hit for us last year...... If it's raining, play a game of marbles for the marbles loop...... Just get them active. Don't give the bad boys much of a chance to get out of line. Everyone will have more fun.

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          • #6
            I forget the exact wording, but I've heard it said that busy boys don't get in trouble. The other folks who've commented have some great suggestions, but if you need to stay with that den, help the den leader keep the boys busy. Have a very full plan/schedule for each meeting starting with some kind of gathering activity. And have supplies in your den bucket for games/activities that can be done if a couple of the boys finish a task early. Like Blw2 said, getting the boys out of their chairs is important. There will be some passive activities that need to be done, but make sure that they aren't too long and that you follow them up with something active.

            Good luck to you!

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