How to get kids (and adults) to stop

[Gunny2862 11]

I agree with ozemu that cursing is largely a sociological phenomenon.

I wasn't sheltered growing up - I thought I'd heard them all.. until I met my Drill Instructor... until I got to the Fleet... until I was responsible for Marines and realized the terms I heard were being applied to me.

 

But that's not the point.

If you accept it, you'll hear it. If you don't accept it it will stop - at least in the context which includes you.

 

Is that really different than doing the pushups? I think it is really only different in that 1)If the kid is willing to pay the price - he'll say what he wants, 2)Some people "get off" on your inability to punish them and will WELCOME the pushups, it becomes positive punishment which completely doesn't work for this kind of kid OR 3) the pushups incorporate the other scouts into the context and widens the circle in which the cursing is frowned upon .

 

As far as incorporating manhood into the deal, sadly part of what makes men men, vs. women, is the signature ability to dehumanize others - it makes war possible. And the cursing is a low level version of this where boys incorporate it with teasing in order to figure out what the societally acceptable tipping point is where conversation tips into violence. It's the same as pranks.

This they are going to do this whether we are around or not. So I'd rather be able to monitor and be able to repair any relationships that get bruised when they find the tipping point than have them do it outside of scouting and find enemies and physical, vs. verbal, combat with other kids who may not have the background of brotherhood to bring them back together.

 

Personally, I'd rather prohibit it, can I live with it on campouts or at camp, yes. Should it ever be acceptable in any public forum, no. Marines would call it "Conduct unbecoming of a Marine" to do it at a Press Function, but just 50 feet away, there's probably some form of pejorative speech in play if there is an enlisted Marine around.

[Scouting Mom 10]

I worked in a business setting where they hired a new salesman who was in his early 20's. It was a new type of position for him. He'd only done retail sales before. Now, I'm a very "mom" type of person. At that time, I was only about 7-8 years older than this man, but still I gave off a "mom" aura.

 

I looked at him one day and said in a very even tempered way, "I know it's just a habit, but do you even realize that every other word you say is f***?" He and the others present were so shocked to hear the word coming from me that they all stopped and thought about it. He was much more conscience of it after that and the language eventually stopped.

 

I don't suggest doing that to the boys, but the parents are a different story.