when do we become adults?

[Lisabob]

I read an article in the NY Times today about how some people are now marking the end of adolesence as being in the early 30s. Yes, THIRTIES.

 

The basic point: Young people are being ever more "groomed" with music lessons, sports, tutors, and other after school activities, but that when it comes right down to it, they are not well prepared to contribute to real life in a meaningful way, for all their education and enrichment, and that's why adolesence keeps stretching further and further. Given the extent to which life is "managed" for young people these days, they hardly have a chance to make decisions or take actions that matter in any true sense until they're well into their 20s. Sorry I don't have a link to the article...I hope I've done a fair job of summarizing it.

 

(Don't misunderstand me - I teach at a large public university and I think education is really important - but I do meet an awful lot of 20-somethings who seem lost in the world.)

 

Anyway the whole thing got me thinking about scouts. That's what we're about, isn't it. We don't promote scouts as just "something to put on your college application or resume." Ultimately, we believe scouts will make better adults out of the people who take part. Maybe even ease that transition from adolescent to adult. Most days, anyway. Right?

 

Lisa'bob

[SWScouter]

I think using the word adolescence in this context is misplaced. Naivete, innocence, inexperience, and ignorance are probably better choices, and they can continue well into, if not throughout, one's adulthood.

 

SWScouter

[ozemu]

Yes Lisa'bob,

 

that is exactly what I see Scouts being for. I try to make our investiture and grad to Venturers as Rites of Passage and refer to Venturers as men and women. (Here Scouts must join venturers at age 15).

 

 

Maybe we are doing too good a job as they invariably leave Venturers which is too boring and does not allow them to exercise their abilities and decision making skills developed while in the Troop. I think that we are sending them men and women at age 15.

 

I am a bit gung ho on this. To me all young people are adults or children. There is no adolescence. They are either behaving as adults or as children and I treat them as adults despite this. No middle ground. That is just an excuse. As I said - a bit hard core there.

 

Oh alright I treat them as adults but accept them acting as children. Some of the time.

 

Have got to talk to that Venturer Leader again soon.

 

[Cubmaster Jerry]

I think the real issue is not when we transition from one to the other but when do we learn to separate "adolescent" behaviors from "adult" behaviors. Things are much different in today's society than even one or two generations ago. Maybe some of you who are more experienced than I can offer further insight but I can't see a Cubmaster 25 years ago doing anything remotely close to the zany antics that I like to do to capture the boys' attention. I know I don't remember my CM doing so.

 

We as leaders certainly do teach the boys how to become better adults. And one day, when it clicks, they will reflect back on their scouting days and recall where that seed was first planted. But in the end, we all remain adolescent.

 

CMJ

[Eamonn]

I'm never very sure about articles that try and suggest that any large group has common characteristics.

When I read or see on TV stories about kids who belong to gangs and are dealing in drugs and guns, I feel bad that these kids are not spending time being kids. I feel the same way about girls who have babies when they are very young.

I know that when it comes to my 17 year old, I seem to do a lot more for him than my parents did for me.

I put a lot of this down to my being brought up in a big city, with lots of public transportation and us living in the sticks, where he has had to be taken to everything. He hasn't had the same freedoms that I had. This can be both a good and a bad thing.

I'm well known for being a very lazy toad. I look at how much and how many activities my son tries to cram into a week and I really don't know how he does it.

I'm really saddened that he doesn't have my great love of books and reading. He never seems to have the time. But when I see the Harry Potter book sales, I'm led to believe that there are a lot of kids out there that do read.

The age that a boy becomes a man? Has I think changed over the centuries.

Even in the 99 years that Scouting has been around. When Scouting started in England boys could leave school at 14 and get a job. Even I can remember friends of mine leaving school at 16.

My son will be almost 19 when he leaves HS and then he plans to do a four year degree. So he will be 23 or 24 before he really has to stand on his own two feet.

So maybe he will spend a few years sowing his wild oats and when the big 30 hits he will stop being a Peter Pan?

Eamonn.

[ozemu]

Eamonn I know the arguement and it is valid.

 

I disagree entirely.

 

Thankfully - diversity is a requirement for a humane world. We all whittle away at the same blocks of wood. Today you will have an impact. Tomorrow I will.

 

Part of my belief is illustrated by stark stats. 10 years ago there were ten times less the number of kids in governemnt care in Australia. Our population has not exploded over that time. ##### have cursed our children. They need to grow up early in some aspects of personal decision making and responsibility. Growing up protects them from harm. But to try to make them too serious is a mistake. Adults can have fun and be lighthearted. But they do their washing or they go to school smelly.

 

Sorry for the soapbox mate. I am pretty involved in the care system.

[funscout]

About 15 years ago I read a study that stated that our thinking and reasoning skills aren't fully developed until approximately age 25. Unfortunately, I didn't keep a copy so I can't quote the author/researcher. I would have guessed the age to be closer to 30, but then it's probably earlier for some and later for others. I know I would not have been ready to be on my own at age 18. After college and grad. school, I still didn't feel like an adult at age 23, when I started my first teaching job.

[Beavah]

Kids haven't changed much over the years. They're still just as capable at age 14 as they used to be when Ben Franklin was running a print shop.

 

If you want to look for a cause, the most obvious choice is the aging of the general population. The older it gets, the less it trusts the abilities of the young, and the more it votes and acts to impose restrictions/"care" on them.

 

 

[OldGreyEagle]

And I thought we become sdults when we accept its not all about us

[Eamonn]

I was talking to a parent of one of the Sea Scouts the other night on the phone.

She said that her Sister-in-law who has just let her daughter join the ship was asking about the details for our last weekend in Maryland.

I had e-mailed copies of everything to the parents and the Scouts. But...

Anyway, I have known the parent on the phone for a little over ten years. She said that she told her Sister-in-law that it was on her computer, but she hadn't read it, but she wasn't to worry they were going with Eamonn. And she wasn't to worry he was just a big kid and the kids love him!!

That being the case I never want to become an adult!!

Eamonn.

[ozemu]

The transition to adulthood varies among cultures, but it is generally defined as the time when individuals begin to function independently of their parents

Microsoft Encarta Encyclopedia 2002. 1993-2001 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

 

...and that is basically my view. Nothing to do with sense of humour (essential I think at all ages) etc.

 

Everything we do at Scouts is to help them separate from their parents and to determine their own adult shape.

 

Also I realise and apologise if some of my previous posts are unclear. The care system as it involves young people here involves the state imposing the separation of the young from their abusive and neglectful parents.(This message has been edited by ozemu)