Conflicted

[mac3mpc 10]

It's a tough decision that you have to make, my friend. On one hand you want to do what's best for not only the troop, but ultimately your own son, and on the other hand you want to do what's best for your family at home.

 

If your wife is truly against the idea, I would have to say that I would probably decline the position. Your still going to be there for your son as an ASM, guiding him and watching him grow through the program without the extra time commitment and stress factor.

 

 

[SMT224 10]

oldisnewagain1 -

 

Your situation sounds much like mine... I did step up and become Scoutmaster - nearly nine years ago, and watched my older son earn his Eagle, and now watch my 13yr twins move through the ranks. We're getting ready for summer camp now, and do week-end camping every month but December. Since we joined the Troop over 10 years ago, I reckon I've spent a full year of my life sleeping in a tent!

 

And then, I'm the "Camping Dude" for my daughter's Girl Scout Troop (she is 15). We do tent camping 4 - 5 times a year. So at least 4 months every year I'm out camping twice a month.

 

Like the situation described by mac3mpc, my wife is very involved with both the Boy Scouts (Committee member) and Girl Scouts Troop (cookie mom). We are very much a Scout family, and it's a great adventure.

 

I agree with mac3mpc - get the rest of the family involved! You won't regret it, and after all, it's just an hour a week! ;-)

 

[Eagledad 2779]

Well Ive been there and my daughter (now 19) does not look back on my SM days as a time where her brothers had an advantage with me. I do agree there has to be a balance with the family and that requires sacrifices on your part. The SM is presumed needed and wanted everywhere everyday. I was asked a lot, but learned quickly to never accept a request to join district and council training staffs. I promised that I would join staffs after I retired as SM and sure nuff the phone was ringing the day after. I always wanted to go to Training at Philmont, but never did because I limited my time away at summer to two weeks max, one week for summer camp and one for high adventure. I even missed a couple high adventure summers when my vacation was limited. Our family to this day still takes a week vacation together every summer, so that was a higher priority.

 

I also delegated ASMs to attend round table so that I wasnt always expected to represent the troop. I didnt stay at all overnight troop activities. There was no requirement for a SM at all night lock-ins, so I traditionally skipped those.

 

If one wanted, a SM could find a reason to be gone every day of the year, and especially every weekend it they choose. So every SM has to find a balance. I had some conflict with my wife and kids at first and they asked (in their own way) to give them a balance of NON-scout time. We eventually had a rule that NO scouting was discussed at the supper table. I guess we worked it out OK because my wife brags she was very proud of my time as a Scoutmaster. Many Scoutmasters have wives who are fully supportive and even get pretty active with the troop. That was not Tamara.

 

Scoutmaster is different than ASM in that the responsibility for the program wears into a person both physically and mentally. It will make you a better spouse and parent because you get a lot of practice working with both youth and adults. Lots of practice. I even have friends who come to me now asking why their kids are acting a certain way and how they should handle that. Im no Dr. Barry, but they like that I play one when they struggle with their kids. I certainly dont always have answers, but I am surprised by how most boys go through the same phases of life. "Its just a phase" is actually a very comforting to many parents.

 

All families are different, but it was important for me that my daughter got as much of her dad as was required. All the scouts knew Annie well because she attended many meetings. I think it is important to know that I was a soccer coach as well and a member of the church committee. So I really really had to make some hard choices with time and family. I only missed three weekend campouts that I can remember and that was for family activities. Strange, but the troop didnt seem to miss me on those campouts.

 

The rewards are great if you dont get into to much trouble. The opportunity to give boys a little something of yourself that will make their future in life just a little better is hard to pass. The stress is great as well and if you dont force yourself to make the right balances, you will end up with a life time of regrets. But my wife and kids dont look back on scouting with any regrets, so I guess we did OK.

 

I love this scouting stuff

 

Barry