venting: Woodbadge tickets meets Father expectations

[moosetracker 132]

oops.. Not Pinewood derby sleds (is there such a thing?) I meant Klondike derby sleds..

[CHLees3rd 10]

Moosetracker,

 

I had a feeling that your son wrote his ticket the way he did for a reason. Too bad your husband has such a complex. He is too much of a dictator to be a mentor. Tell me, does your husband push himself to do better and do more than others in the troop, or is it just that way for your son as in "do as I say and not as I do?" I suggest your son go find another troop away from his father; otherwise, your husband will eventually suck the fun out of Scouting for your son.

 

Chazz Lees

[moosetracker 132]

Well Dad hasn't sucked it out yet, since 1st grade tiger, they just go head to head at times.

 

His girlfriend is now joining the troop as an 18 yo ASM. We were encouraging them to switch troops (both father & I) only I thought the drag was on the need to complete the tickets.. He wavered with the idea, then stated "No, he didn't want to leave this troop." Then back & fourth, with the wavering.. Girlfriend took on MB counseling, but held off on troop registration to see where they wanted to go. But last committee meeting, they gave her a position in the troop, & she filled out registration. She will be like son, register as an ASM on paper, cause that's all they can be at 18, and taking on a committee position..

 

I would have thought it better to fly away. May have helped on other fronts of his rebellious stage for him to be independent at least in scouting.

[OldGreyEagle 5]

Has Dad always been such a jerk or is his a new facet to his personality? So he teaches the Quartermaster to mess up another guys work because you aren't happy with what the guy agreed to do and was accepted by a third party?

 

SOungds like someone needs to grow up and its not the person taking Wood Badge

[moosetracker 132]

OldGray - I might be partial (in most cases) to my husband.. But, no I would not call him a jerk (in most cases)..

 

Just a combination of a) The whole family is very BoyScout oriented B) Youth rebellion arguements on other issues, seeping into scouting and his making a bad.. bad.. judgement call..

 

Sometimes he gets so pigheaded he can't see that he may win a battle with his actions, but he is loosing the war. Know when to pick your battles, when to drop them, and when they are not part of the battle at all.. And scouting should be not part of the battle at all.

 

Like I stated in most cases he is an excellent leader, excellent with the scouts. I think he would have made a fine teacher for almost any grade level.

 

Since I am not talking to him about it, (not because I'm not talking to him, but I chose not to get involved this time) I really don't know what he communicated to the Quartermaster. I would find it hard to believe it was "Ha.. Ha.. lets pawn your work off on my son".. I would hope it was simply telling him if he moved the equipment from trailer to shed, he had fullfilled his duties as QM.. QM probably knew nothing about my sons tickets, he's been around long enough to know that is not all the QM's duties, but was not going to argue if he was getting out of the job easy.. (Even if he didn't know about the WB ticket items. I do think he would have known the poor inventory would have been then passed on to be the new QM's problem.)

 

But if you have shirked your duties for the 6 months you had the position, I can't see him then saying "No.. Mr. ______ your wrong. I know I need to go through all the cook kits and tents and other equipment and figure out what went missing during the time I was not keeping good track of it."

[OldGreyEagle 5]

I might be working on far fewer shades on my gray scale than you, but pigheaded equals jerk in my mind

[Eamonn 61]

I of course don't know your son or your husband.

Thinking about my relationship with my so.

I that at times, I can be a real pain.

We both know how to push each others buttons.

I most times think that I know the best way of getting the job done. (I'm not just talking about sorting out a shed.)

Part of my problem and yes it is my problem is that I miss the times when he was "My little man". That cute little fellow who followed me around like a little puppy dog, looked at me with adoring eyes and knew that I would always be there for him.

Wrong as it was, I think part of me enjoyed the period when HWMBO and him just didn't seem able to connect and both argued about everything. This allowed me to play the part of the wise old sage.

He is soon to be 22. We both still love each other very dearly. But he seems happy to not discuss what is going on with me, I'm accused of not listening, when the truth is that I'm not told! HWMBO has taken the time to know most of his friends, I know a few of them, but have to admit that I have a hard time recognizing one from the other, they all have very short hair and all seem like they are in need of a good meal.

My role now seems to be one that I'm the go to guy when everything else has gone wrong and I'm tasked with sorting out the mess.

I have never been able to suffer in silence, which of course only adds to the distance between us both.

I like to think that I'm good with kids, in part because I remember what it was like when I was a kid. Sadly I'm not so good at remembering what it was like to be a young adult.

My great hope is that the love we have for each other is strong enough to enable us both to sail through any and all the storms that lie ahead.

I of course am planning that when he presents me with a grandkid?? That I'm going to stuff this kid full of sugar and Mountain Dew and then send him home! (How about that for Fatherly love! - Joke.)

Ea.