Bear den leader being pushed out

[ryetye 10]

I am a bear den leader. Our cubmaster's wife is dying of cancer. I have a tiger den leader and a treasure that is pushing our commite chair( my wife ) out and trying to push me out as well. I have talked to the cubmaster about taking asst. cubmaster position as of next year. But I'm at the point iI don't want my kids a bear and tiger around this person or the problem. I would hate to do this to the bears as I am the second leader the've had this year. I was tiger Until January when the old leader was transfered out of state. Any advice is greatly needed.

[Lisabob 13]

Make the best of things for the next couple of months if you feel you'd like to maintain continuity for the remainder of this school year, and then find a pack that is a better fit for your family for next year. No point in staying where your efforts are unappreciated!

[ryetye 10]

Thats easy to say but me in the cm had discussed a ceremony for b&g we shared this with all den leaders and i received an email today from the tiger den leader that her husband was going to lead this ceremony. excuse my language but im p.oed beyond belief. My wife is ressigning from committe chair.

 

[rjscout 11]

I hate to hear this.

 

If the Cubmaster is in agreement with you doing the ceremony, and your wife is the CC, I don't know where the Tiger DL is getting the gumption to taking control of the ceremony or anything else. The CC and Cubmaster should be able to direct what is going to happen. Maybe the direction set by that will encourage the TDL to go with the flow or go away.

 

Best of luck!

[ryetye 10]

I agree but i really dont want my kids around them at this point after I stopped a badge from being given out without being earned. I f he can't earn it I personally don;t think they deserve them wheen all the other boys have been busting thier butts.

 

[Bob White 20]

TRAINING TRAINING TRAINING

 

My recommendation is that the Committee Chair, the Cubmaster, and the Charter Organization Representative meet. The Cubmaster has enough on his hands without worrying about adults not playing nice together. The CC and CR should give him some time off to take care of his wife and family while they battle cancer. The pack will still be there when he is ready to return but his family's needs should be a priority.

 

The Committee Chair and the CR then need to get the other leaders under control and trained. The Tiger leader and the Treasurer have ZERO authority in pack operations. The Committee Chair and CR need to know what their role is and choose an Assistant Cubmaster to lead the program until the regular Cubmaster can return.

 

You are a Den leader, lead your den, let the administrative leader (the Committee chair) choose a program leader (Asst. Cubmaster) that she isn't married to. This alone will resolve much of the infighting.

 

And then teach each person their specific responsibility and ask them to get on with it.

 

 

 

[Gold Winger 9]

As strange as it may sound, I concur with Bob.

 

 

[ElyriaLeader 11]

You definately need to have someone who is not engaged in this battle to take the ACM reins until the CM is back on his feet after dealing with his wifes cancer. And I also agree with BobWhite.

[rjscout 11]

Ryetye,

 

I agree with you on not giving achievements that aren't earned. I may be in the same boat for stopping awards from being handed out. I want the boys to do well, but I don't want to ignore overlooked requirements. I hope that you can get things worked out to be able to stay in a Pack where you have a vested interest. I can't believe that some people allow their ego get in the way of doing things for the boys. On the stopped awards in our Pack, we are actually starting to be more proactive in getting the boys to achieve the extra awards, beyond the basic Rank Advancements.

 

[KISMIF_Works 10]

ryetye - I feel for you, as I'm going through some drama right now in my own pack. It's unfortunate when people forget that the purpose of Scouting is to have FUN and that it is for the boys!

 

Is the effort behind trying to have you and your wife removed somehow tied to your stand on the badge not being awarded?

 

What is the Tiger DL's husband's role in the pack, and why does she feel he should lead the B&G ceremony you mentioned?

 

I definitely encourage you to stay on as Bear DL at least until the school year is over, if possible. Your Bear scouts need you, and continuing to do your best in that role is how you can best serve them (regardless of what happens with a B&G ceremony).

 

[ryetye 10]

The awards haven,t been given yet because the bears are working towards the same award(leave no trace). The wifes role is asst tiger leader. Husband is dl but if you ask me it seems that he lives in her shadow because he wont step up unless told to.

 

[ScoutNut 147]

I still am unclear on this ceremony thing.

 

Is the ceremony for awarding Leave No Trace? Are both the Tiger and Bear dens working on Leave No Trace? Why does the Tiger Leader think that the Asst Tiger Leader should do the ceremony instead of the the Bear leader (you)?

 

 

[ryetye 10]

NoI have stopped the tigers from getting the award because my son had told me he was getting it at the next pack meeting when he has not completed the achievements for the award. The tiger leader confirmed he was receiving it. The asst. leadr is his wife. The ceremony we are doing is for Blue And Gold, cub scout prayer.

 

[beaverlbc 10]

It sounds like your Tiger Leader needs training. You don't award anything without the Scout "doing his best" to complete a requirement.

Also, there is no Tiger position of Ast DL. Each Tiger Partner is supposed to take turns being the Asst to the DL. This way they all are introduced to the idea of helping and being a DL. So the wife being Ast DL doesn't exist. Sounds like she is really the DL and the husband is not.

The other reason the Tiger DL and his wife need training is to know what they can and can not dictate. They are not in charge. All they can do is be in charge of the Tiger Den. The CC & CM and CR are in charge of the Pack.

The current family need of the your CM is the very reason a Pack needs an Asst CM. But if you have no Asst the CC is qualified and supposed to take over as CM as a temporary measure.

This is also the type of situation where you want to get your Unit Commissioner involved. They are the District person who is supposed to help resolve problems. The Pack should not be trying to resolve these issues on their own. The CC should ask the District to step in. I strongly encourage your pack to do this.

 

 

[beaverlbc 10]

It sounds like your Tiger Leader needs training. You don't award anything without the Scout "doing his best" to complete a requirement.

Also, there is no Tiger position of Ast DL. Each Tiger Partner is supposed to take turns being the Asst to the DL. This way they all are introduced to the idea of helping and being a DL. So the wife being Ast DL doesn't exist. Sounds like she is really the DL and the husband is not.

The other reason the Tiger DL and his wife need training is to know what they can and can not dictate. They are not in charge. All they can do is be in charge of the Tiger Den. The CC & CM and CR are in charge of the Pack.

The current family need of the your CM is the very reason a Pack needs an Asst CM. But if you have no Asst the CC is qualified and supposed to take over as CM as a temporary measure.

This is also the type of situation where you want to get your Unit Commissioner involved. They are the District person who is supposed to help resolve problems. The Pack should not be trying to resolve these issues on their own. The CC should ask the District to step in. I strongly encourage your pack to do this.