Your replies were very helpful.
I realize, thanks to your replies, that the SM is frazzled and stressed and that comes out as him micromanaging and being critical. Parents get critized and then don't want to help anymore.
The new parents do complain in the parking lot because the SM forgets or postpones SM conferences and getting merit badge cards is a struggle (out of stock, can't find, can't find counselor list), etc.
SM and ASM do not get along - evidenced during campouts. SM wants to rotate off now that his son is almost Eagle.
CC doesn't seem to respect SM.