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Millie

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Everything posted by Millie

  1. Good Morning,I' I'm a new member here, coming for advice on the recommendation of another Scouter. I've been in Scouting for a few years, but this year is my first year as Pack Committee Chair. In our Pack, we are blessed with many great families. We do, however, have one Parent that has been in our Pack for three years and during that time, she has increasingly become argumentative, divisive, and generally causes upheaval on a regular basis. We hold regular Parent meetings to discuss plans, receive feedback and basically have an open forum so that everyone has an opportunity to ask questions. These meetings are well received and have contributed to an overall smoothly operating Pack. Except for Problem Mom. She seems to be very dissatisfied with our Pack. She doesn't agree with the Bylaws, Code of Conduct, the operating budget/fundraising, our meeting location/date/time or the Chartered Org. Yet she comes back, year after year, driving to our Pack from a neighboring city where there exists two Packs much closer to her home. If she offers a suggestion during our Parent meetings and the suggestion is not met with overwhelming approval (from Parents and Committee), she becomes very defensive and angry. I would offer that we have approximately 50 families in our Pack and she is the only Parent that finds fault in our program. In the past week, she seems to have taken a step closer to falling off the proverbial cliff. She is has been contacting Leaders and Parents in our Pack and other Packs, spreading all sorts of nonsense and lies. In many of these emails, texts, etc, she has represented herself as the Treasurer in our Pack, giving the impression that she is conducting business on our behalf. She has stated that our Pack is offering to disburse "left over" funds in our "individual scout accounts" to Parents who have either crossed over to a Troop or transferred to another Pack. We absolutely do not have individual Scout accounts. It is causing a lot of frustration and confusion. We held our Committee meeting yesterday after Church and the Committee presented a suggestion to remove her (and unfortunately her Scout) from our Pack. The vote was unanimous. The COR and EO are also in agreement as she has not spared them in her email tirades. The COR recently advised Mom that if she was not happy with our Unit, she should visit one of the other Units in the area to see if they were a better fit for her. She is not interested in transferring. It has really just worn thin with the Committee and many other parents as well. We are all ready to move on past this and removing her seems to be the final option. This is a situation unique to me. Who is responsible for notifying the Mom? Would it be via a certified letter? A phone call? She's going to go all manner of "nuts" on us. Any advise on how to word this or what to say? Thank you in advance. Millie
  2. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Thank you all. She has not returned to a meeting since that incident. I do not expect that she will. At the end of January, her Scout's membership will expire when we recharter. She has made no effort to pay renewal fees for her Scout. The deadline for paying renewal fees is January 4. SSScout, the father has not been a part of the Scout's life for several years. The mother and father are divorced and seriously estranged.
  3. Millie

    Hello!

    I'm a proud mom of three, two boys and a girl. I have a Boy Scout, an Explorer and a Ballerina. I still work with our previous Pack, as Committee Chair. So in all of that, my time is full. I enjoy every moment with my family and with Scouting. I just joined today - jumped right in and asked my question. I joined at the advice of an old friend and retired Scouter. He recommended that I come here for advice and he was on target! This looks like a great forum with a lot of experienced Scouters willing to help with advice and encouragement. Thanks for letting me be a part of this group!
  4. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Yes, everything is in Scoutbook and Advancement Sync was activated just a few days ago for BSA. Complete Cub Record Bobcat forward.
  5. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    NJ, Guilty as charged! However, at the time that I made my original post, her "law related" reason for declining to register as a leader (somehow) seemed less significant. I am not sure why... especially in light of your "passing bad checks" comment relating to her Treasurer claims... Goodness. Well, I continue to sit her patiently - still waiting for that promised call from Council. They did have quite the bundle of correspondence to read. It's time to cut the cord with Problem Mom and move on to the more important task of providing a quality program for our Scouts.
  6. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    It is sad for this young man, but we have all just reached the end of our patience in dealing with her drama. Thank you Colonel!
  7. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    I wish there were a way to keep her son, we've pondered this, but I don't see it being a possibility. She rarely lets him very far out of her sight. In addition to her other endearing personality traits, she is also a helicopter parent. All of our Dens meet on the same night/time due to the fact that we have so many families with multiple scouts in our unit. So, it just works best for us that way. To change her Den, she'd have to change the entire Pack meeting date/time/location. Not likely to happen. That major red flag has been up for the better part of two years since her disclosure. She's never alone with any other member (youth or adult). Exactly!
  8. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Spot on Stosh! I feel badly for her son, but as you said, in the interest of the boys, the game has got to change.
  9. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    I suspected something like that.
  10. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Ha! Well, we did not exclude her from registering as a leader. She declined to do so because she stated that she would not pass a background check due to a "law related" issue.
  11. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    She did not provide details but alluded to something "law related" in her background. I
  12. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Yes, it is the CO's decision from all that I've read and heard. However, as a courtesy, I made them (Council) aware of the situation and sought their advise to ensure that our Pack stays within guidelines and policies of BSA. Without a doubt, if it comes down to removing/banning her, her drama will substantially increase.
  13. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    When the mother is removed/banned, she will likely have no alternative but to remove her son. She has no spouse or other family in the area that can bring him to the meetings. She has never held any sort of registered leader position. We have in the past invited her to be on the Committee so that she would have more than a voice, she'd actually have a vote, however, by her own admission, she could not pass a background check and will not register. She just picks apart the Bylaws and Code of Conduct. Both of which were reviewed and approved by our Council. They are not anything beyond regular BSA rules, regulations and guidelines for a Pack. Her gripe with our location is that she wants us to meet at her Church (over 20 miles away from our current location and the core of our Pack population). Our meeting night interferes with her son's karate lessons. Her son is not being bullied at all. He is quiet, reserved, but seems to be well liked. No twisting of rank requirements. Hypothetically speaking, if she were to come to this board, it would depend on her mood for the day as to what her account of the situation would be. It could be anything from our Pack is exemplary, to we are spawns of Satan. She has been offered the opportunity to transfer to another Pack which may be better suited for her, but she refuses. Our Executive Officer, the COR, Committee Chair (myself), Den Leader, current Treasurer, past Treasurer, Cubmaster, Assistant CM and many others have spoken to her. We have listened, tried to help, expressed concerns, etc. Some days she is gracious and apologizes for her behavior - but then the next meeting, she'll be back to stirring the proverbial pot. When I tell you that she has been given ample opportunity to correct her behavior, that is no exaggeration. This has literally been a ping pong match for three years.
  14. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    We do have those emails and texts. They have been turned in to Council. And yes, they were concerned about her misrepresentation. They are discussing and I am waiting on a call back with their advice / recommendation.
  15. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    She is not, nor has she ever been a registered leader. Unfortunately, she has stepped way beyond being a general pain in the neck. No one in our Pack has a problem with her (or any other person's) opinion whether favorable or not. She is welcome to voice her opinion. And everyone's voice is heard and considered. Her general stance is we should do everything her way or no way. After three years, this has just worn thin. She has gone far beyond a whiny or grumpy parent.
  16. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Hi, Have contacted my DE, and the Regional Director for advise. I have provided them with all of the documentation (emails, texts, etc). At first blush, they are in agreement Problem Mom needs to move on. Waiting for further response.
  17. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Ian, Thank you for your comments. You have some valid points and I will discuss with my Committee.
  18. Millie

    Parent Issue - Cub Scouts

    Thank you!
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