So... what do you when it's the parent who has the constant behavior problems?
We have a parent who has two scouts in our pack. The boy in my den has missed more than half of the den meetings.He arrives in an untucked scout shirt that I gave to the mother for the boy. He has no neckerchief, slide, hat, etc. The mother has never bought the boyu a book therefore has obviously never participated in any of the activities within the book, at least with the boy in my den. When he does come to the den meetings he has no dues. The mother called the local council office and complained that we asked for registration for the boys. The council told us to let her slide and not pay the fee - for the 3rd year. Council did not give us financial support fot the boys fee. I don't know if they should have.
The mother has called me a few times to inquire about times, events. "See you at the meeting", she would say each time. So of course I would buy supplies for the activities for the boy for each meeting. Supplies are being wasted and the other scouts in the den are the ones who ultimately are paying for this wasted material.
Over the course of approx. 3 years since the family has been involved with our pack the mother has yelled at and disrespected quite a few of the leaders.
A quick rundown of the problems we have had with her - they have always involved her yelling at a leader - Last year she yelled at the leaders because the night of the den meetings was not going to work for her. The den leader had to accomodate times with the assistants and had to make adjustments (before meetings ever started for the year). She called and yelled at the assistant leader and called the leader many times ofver the course of one day, leaving nasty messages on the machine each time. This year she yelled at the leader of her other boys den over money being collected for an overnight trip. She thought she was asking for dues money and yelled and argued that she didn't have it. And that brings us to the situation with me.
The initial conversation started when I called to notify her of the cancelled meeting that evening (pack meeting). She mentioned that her son had not been attending because of his new afterschool activity, the times clashed. Remember I mentioned before at the start of this post that she would sometimes call and tell me they would be there next time. It took a turn for the worse when she was explaining once again why he has not been there. I asked her if he would be at the next meeting because I did not want to buy supplies if he would not be. Plan is to make red badge vests, somewhat cosltly and not willing to spend the other boys money. She said I guess I will call you and let you know. I told her she has done it in the past and doesn't show and that that was wasting materials and money. Told her she hadn't brought her son in 9 weeks and that I have supplied items each time. Parents had agreed at the beginning of the year to pay dues ($2/wk) even if the boy didn or attend that week. I mentioned this policy and she "freaked out" on me. She couldn't believe that I would be asking for this back pay, she was on a budget and could never pay it. She lashed out at me with the comment that if she can't afford it what are we going to do throw her son out? As she yelled at me I was trying to tell her that participating in fund raising events such as the car wash would earn the scout shares which in turn is like money. I'm sure she didn't hear me and it wouldn't matter because this has has been told to her on numerous occassions and never once getting any participation from her in anything. The conversation ended about the time that she "threatened" to call the local council to basicaly tell on me. I think she hung up on me, I don't remember saying goodbye.
As a leader I am also an active member in the committe. Phoned the cubmaster and he has taken steps to deal with it. He called council and explained the current situation. Council wants written statements from me and the other leaders about the events that happened with her. The plan at this point is to allow her to take her son to the other boys meetings, one level down in Wolves, and have the boy attend those. I don't know the attendance that the other boy has. The boy in my den (I was not the leader then) did not earn his wolf badge because he was never at the meetings and did not advance. This year I had him, along with the new scouts, earn the bobcat badge because I was not sure he had ever legitimately earned that.
In my opinion I think that the family should be asked to leave our pack. The parent has not followed the rules and guidelines in the parent agreement as stated in the scout application. And in the entire time the boys have been enrolled in our pack the essential aims of the program have not been, and are not being persued. Far to much time has been wasted on dealing with this parent when the time should be spent on the boys in the pack and den.
Is it wrong to remove them from our pack. Are we somehow required to follow council rules that might be in place for something like this? Does council even need to be involved? My suggestion is that they could always find another somewhat local pack/den to belong to that maybe is able to better fund them.
(Oh yeah, the after-school activity that the boy belonged to started in Nov. quite a bit of time after scouts. It cost $30 to join. Doesn't it seem as though this money should have been budgeted to the program that they joined first?