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keoki12

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  1. A list of the members of the Blue Grass Council Leadership is not readily available, either through the Scouting office or their web site. The information is provided below.

     

    Executive Committee:

     

    David Stephens, MD - Council President

    Russ Tucker - Council Commissioner

    Kelly Hampton - Scout Executive / CEO

    Ben Alexander - Program VP

    John Allison - Membership VP

    Bill Beach - National Council Rep

    Buzz Carmichael - Finance VP

    Tom Fielder - National Council Rep

    Steve Grossman - Past President

    Boone Logan - Committee Member

    John McDonald IV - Committee Member

    Dan Miller - Committee Member

    Steve itter - Treasurer

    Bart van Diesel - Committee Member

    Alan Watts - District Operations VP

    Billy Forbess, DMD - Committee Member

     

    Executive Board:

     

    Tom Baker

    Anthon Beatty

    Scott Beckett

    Darby Bennett

    John A. Billings

    Greg Bourland

    George Caruba

    Harvey Coggin

    Bob Damron

    Whitney Dunlap

    Shannon Elam

    Harold Faulconer, MD

    Elizabeth Fielder

    Richard Floyd, MD

    Barry Goff

    Robert Goh

    Linda Gorton

    JW Grabeel

    Scott Green

    Robert Hamlin

    Larry Hobbs

    Bob Hutchison

    Fred Justus

    Glen Krebs

    Craig McAnnelly

    Nana Mensah

    Keith Moorman

    Gus Moss

    Robert Mudd

    Kurt Netherton

    Dr. Matthew Nicholls

    Richard Noonan

    Maryanne O'Canna

    Harry Richart

    James Roberts

    Bill Savage

    Kirby Smith

    Vance Smith

    Greg Stumbo

    Dudley Taylor

    Mike Warman

    Claudette Watts

    Father Michael Weglicki

    ark Wiete

    Howard Wiles

    George Wilson III

    Jeff Yost

     

    Advisory Board:

     

    Charles Baird

    John Baird

    Tom Blodgett

    Don Bloomer

    Roger Boots

    Ray Bradbury

    Frank Cain

    Bud Casebier

    Ben Chandler

    Clay Davis

    Dee Dawahare

    Sam Dick

    Robert Doty

    Bill Furlong

    Bill Gay

    Jean Hale

    David Hoddy

    Oscar Hornsby

    W. James Host

    Jim Jordan

    Kelly Knight

    Jeff Lagrew

    Jack Lee

    Frank Lynch

    Rick Lyon

    Wayne Martin

    Ken Midkiff

    Critt Murphy

    Tommy Nichols

    William Page

    John Poundstone

    Helm Roberts

    Hal Rogers

    Cal Roszell

    Sam Scott

    Stu Silberman

    Steve Singleton

    Ken Sturgill

    Tim Terry

    Cy Waddle

    Mike Whitake

    Mike Whitley

    John Wilson

    George Woodwine

     

     

  2. Quite often you hear of stories of people who have made mistakes and learned from them, and in the process learned to also be compassionate and tolerate of others and their shortcomings.

     

    Thank you NeilLup and Beavah for your compassion and understanding. PackSaddle has done the same while admitting he made some less than stellar choices as a kid and thanks to the second chances he was given, he was able to turn his life around. Showing compassion and tolerance does not mean enabling, it means showing the wrong path and helping to guide to the right path. Just like the Troop 382 ScoutMaster tried to do for my son.

     

    PackSaddle, I hope my son grows up to be like you. And I think he will, for I see him reaching out to other kids with ADD, ADHD, autism, and other learning disabilities and giving them encouragement. Through his own struggles and pain he knows very well what they are going through and is able to connect with them. Sort of like that movie Pay It Forward, the compassion and support he received from his old troop, Troop 382 and now this new troop and council, he is showing that to these kids.

     

    Thank you guys. The boys in Scouting are lucky to have people like you.

     

    And Rythos, you ask some great questions.

  3. I agree that actions have consequences and I agree wholeheartedly on the decision to fire him. Believe me, we have had long discussions about this, both before and after the incident and several times since.

     

    The police were called, but no report or charges were filed and I don't know why. Part of me had wished he had gone before a judge to really scare the daylights out of him. That didn't happen, but I do believe he got the message loud and clear.

     

    As for the other boy that brought the joint, I know he was older and an Eagle Scout. He lives in another town, so I really don't know much more about him. He and my son had only shared a tent for a week or so when this had happened.

     

    Beveah, you mentioned the COR and IH talking to the local council. What is the "IH"?

     

    Good news. The troop in another district has decided to allow him to join their troop. It is 114 miles round trip, but my son feels it is worth the effort. Thank goodness gas prices have dropped. :^)

     

    My son is working hard to walk the straight and narrow and I know he has a better chance of success if he is with others that share positive traits and values. His goal is to become a backcountry ranger. He loves the outdoors, the hiking, rock climbing, backpacking, canoeing, protecting the environment, etc. so the Boy Scouts is right up his alley.

     

    Thanks to all for the support and advice. None of us is without sin, but with support most people can move past their mistakes and become a better person for it.

     

    I hope everyone has a great holiday.

  4. No problem. If anyone wants me to scan a copy into the computer and e-mail it, I can do so (with the names blacked out of course). The letter from Regional states:

     

    Dear Mr. & Mrs. ___________,

     

    A regional review committee met to consider your requet for your son's review of the denial of his membership in the Boy Scouts of America. The committee has recommended that __________'s membership privileges be reinstated. This means that __________'s registration will be accepted if he decides to re-register with the Boy Scouts of America.

     

    We are sending ___________________, Scout Executive of the Blue Grass Council a copy of this letter to notify the council of the review committee's decision.

     

    Sincerely,

     

     

    ________________

    Assistant Regional Director

     

    cc: __________________, Scout Executive - Blue Grass Council

    National Registration Service

     

     

     

    The final letter from the CEO of the Blue Grass Council:

     

    Dear Mr. ___________,

     

    I am aware you have called inquiring about __________'s application for membership and I wanted to respond. Please first let me offer my congratulations to____________ on his successful regional review process. The region's ruling allows his consideration for membership through any local council in the BSA and eliminated the lifetime national ban that was originally in place.

     

    As it relates to his membership application to be processed through the Blue Grass Council, BSA, the executive committee of the council reviewed the entire incident, including the letters of apology offered by ___________. It became very evident that this incident still evokes very strong emotions from those involved in and affected by it. The fundamental precept of Scouting, and particulary Camp McKee, serving as a "safe haven" was violated by staff members who were charged with the responsibility of maintaining that safe environment. Weighing all of this, the executive committee of the council unanimously supported the position that none of the individuals involved in this incident should be granted membership through the Blue Grass Council, nor will they be allowed on Camp McKee property. Therefore, I cannot accept __________'s application for membership.

     

    _________ is free to apply again in the future, however I ould suggest a minimum interval of one year.

     

     

     

    Sincerely,

     

     

    _________________

    Scout Executive / CEO

     

     

    ---------------------------------------

     

    Regional's letter clearly states that our son's application WILL be accepted, but the BG Council translated that to mean his application would be considered.

     

    Considering the lack of information, unwillingness to meet or talk to us, Troop 382 and the parent council and everyone else we have spoken to feel that the last offer to reapply in a year is only a delaying tactic to keep us at bay in the hopes that we will give up and drop it. They really don't think they will ever accept his application through the BG Council.

     

    We, too, looked to Camp McKee to be a safe haven for our son, which is why we encouraged him to work there. We felt it was a safe place where he could utilize his strengths, while working on the skills he struggles with. Scouts had always been the one place that he had felt accepted, but when he felt like the new director was displeased, thngs went downhill. Our son was at a very vulnerable place in his life and we feel that it is as important for the adult managemnt to create a safe haven for the children working at camp, as it is for the children working to create a safe haven for the visitors. Our son was not the only one that felt discouraged. Every weekend when I picked him up, many of the boys were very vocal in their unhappiness. As I heard a wise man say once, "Attitude is a reflection of leadership." This does not excuse my son's action, but it does show that the incident did not occur in a vacuum. If the adults couldn't handle the stress, how could they expect the kids to do so?

     

    Anyway, thank you to Beavah for the info. on registering through Regional. I spoke to a few people, and none of them knew that it was a possibility for his application to be sent directly to Regional. We'll be talking to the Scout Masters of Troop 382 when they meet again.

     

    As for the posting a year ago, that was done by a close family friend who also has a child struggling with ADD. She was a tower of strength when our world fell apart.

     

  5. Thanks to all for their support and suggestions.

     

    We are also puzzled as to why the BG Council is not following Regional's decision. The last letter we received from the BG Council was more than a year after this all started. The letter congratulated our son on winning the appeal from Regional but stated they would not accept his application. It was at that point we hired the lawyer to act for us. She sent copies of the letter she sent to the BG Council to both Regional and National. The letter asked for our son's reinstatement to the BG Council and failing that a list of all accusations and the chance to meet with the Executive Committee to discuss/refute. When nothing was forthcoming after several weeks, she then wrote a letter to Regional and National documenting the steps she had taken and the lack of results. She also encouraged us to ask Regional for another appeal based on the BG Council's last letter, which we did, and we sent a copy to National. That was 2 months ago and we have not heard anything from Regional or National.

     

    As I mentioned near the end of my letter, with the assistance of Troop 382, our son applied to a troop in another district. They drive 114 miles round trip, but after several weeks they stated they would not accept his application. Their reason was they had contacted the BG Council and was told the BG Council could not discuss it due to legal reasons. We have given the new troop copies of all correspondence and asked them to reconsider their decision. We are waiting for an answer.

     

    Thanks to the therapist my son has been seeing for the last year, we have finally found a school in another county that specializes in his disability. Things are finally starting to turn around there, but we still have a long way to go.

     

    I guess the main point of my original letter was to ask people to look deeper before they judge kids so harshly. I work with kids with special needs in the school system and it is heartbreaking to watch their struggles to please and fit in. As I said, I have met some exceptional people in the school environment that are wonderful with kids, but that is not always the case.

     

    Again, thank you for the support and suggestions. If the new troop doesn't work out, we will look into the Lone Scout option. I am sure that Troop 382 will support him if we go this route. They have been great.

     

    Oh, and by the way, the Charter Rep. wrote a wonderful letter in support when we made the initial appeal to Regional. According to him, he has not heard of any other accusations other than the one of smoking the joint, but he said the CEO is keeping everyone at arms length, stating this is between the BG Council and the parents, but then the CEO won't talk to us, the parents. It is because of the wall we can't get past that we recently got a lawyer involved. We just didn't know what else to do. She wasn't able to get past the wall either, but she was able to document the problem for Regional and National.

  6. He did re-register with the original troop after receiving the letter from Regional stating his application would be accepted back into Scouts, and it was signed by the Scout Master on the day we received the letter. But the Blue Grass Council refused to accept the application, so he was not allowed to remain with the troop after the 60-day initial period. It was very frustrating that the BG Council waited 5 weeks after they were notified of Regional's decision to vocalize their refusal, then to demand my son write letters of apology and wait 2 more months before sending a letter stating his application would not be accepted by them. Stretching the situation out as they did was torture for everybody.

     

    As for the reasons to the Blue Grass Council's actions, I don't know either, but it has not been for a lack of trying to find out. We have asked by phone, 2 certified letters, and attorney for the reasons and the CEO of the Blue Grass Council absolutely refuses to give any. Through all the Scout handbooks, manuals, and websites I have read, the normal procedure has been to meet with the Scout and parents when a problem occurs, but repeated requests for meetings have been denied. I have to assume that the reasons for banning were not valid in the eyes of Regional as they granted the appeal and allowed reinstatement in good standing.

     

    The saddest part of all of this has been the message these actions by the Blue Grass Council has sent to my son and all of the members of Troop 382. When the adults you look to for guidance betray the message they themselves preach, then what are you to believe? To these kids, many now feel they are just empty words.

  7. Mentors or Destroyers

    What Happens to the Special Child?

     

    It is amazing and very sad how organizations with mission statements that state their purpose is to guide and teach children in fact become the mental and emotional destroyers of those children that are different. Dont get me wrong; there are some people that are very intuitive and absolutely wonderful with all children. But there are others with the best of intentions that end up destroying some children through sheer ignorance.

    You see, my son struggles with Attention Deficit Disorder Inattentive (ADD) and Sensory Integration Disorder. He is exceptionally bright with an IQ in the superior range, but his learning style does not fit with the teaching style of most teachers. Some teachers demand that he learn the way they teach and if he is incapable, then it is his fault. When a child is subjected to this attitude day after day, year after year, the mental and emotional toll can be devastating. Imagine being aware on a daily basis that you are incapable of learning like other children. The teacher may not say so in so many words, but children are very sensitive to a teachers displeasure. After facing this for years, for too many children with learning disabilities and learning differences, the result is often depression. These children and their families frequently feel isolated as they try to cope. Too many of the professionals know little about these disabilities and the myriad of ways they impact a childs life. They try to use a one cure fits all approach that is more damaging than it is helpful.

    Depression is another mental condition that most people truly know little about. They may see a friend or co-worker that always has a joke or seems to not have a care in the world. What they dont see is the melt-down the individual goes through when they are in the safety of their home. Perhaps they see the individual taking part in self-destructive behavior and condemn the behavior without making any effort to understand the underlying cause. They believe those struggling with depression should just snap out of it or taking a pill will magically fix it. It is so easy to be judgmental through ignorance.

    My sons struggle started in 3rd grade. In the beginning, he was a happy 8 year old who couldnt wait to get to school each day. The previous school years had been a joy for him. He loved to learn and he was fortunate in how those teachers had teaching styles that matched his learning style. But as he began to see that he was somehow different in the 3rd grade when it came to learning and that the teacher was really unhappy with him, that happiness turned to sadness. Every year the story was the same: he would start the year with excitement and within a couple of months sadness would become evident and would grow as the year progressed. By the time 7th grade arrived, the exciting anticipation of a new school year turned to dread. Too many of the professionals were unable to really understand and could not help. The depression grew and grew. While he struggled to do what was right and was expected of him, his self-esteem plummeted and he looked for acceptance wherever he could find it. Unfortunately, it was with others with their own struggles, those who were on a self-destructive path.

    The utmost saving factor in my sons life was Scouts. He started as a Tiger Scout in first grade and participated every year thereafter. Joining Troop 382 when he made the transition to Boy Scouts was the greatest thing that could have happened. He found a place where he was accepted as he is and his strengths were put to great use while his weaknesses were minimized. His fellow scouts became his brothers and he rose through the ranks to the position of Senior Patrol Leader (having been voted almost unanimously by his troop mates). He went to Philmont with his troop when he was 15 and he loved it. He was in his element and felt he had found his place. Sadly the daily struggles at school and with depression overtook everything else.

    My son worked at Camp McKee, the local scout camp when he was 14 and 15. The director was wonderful and took personal interest in the boys working those summers. My son learned he was good at teaching and enjoyed helping the visitors learn new scouting skills. He was able to build on his strengths while trying to develop those skills he struggled with daily. We, his parents, were thrilled he had found a place of acceptance and joy.

    The summer he was 16, a new director took charge of camp and the fit was not so great. He believed more in the stick than the carrot and many of the boys working that summer were disgruntled. My son tried reaching out to the director, asking him to spend time with them like the previous director had, but as the new director told me, that wasnt his style and he was not comfortable playing games or hanging out with the kids. Personally, I couldnt help but wonder why someone who felt that way was in charge of the camp or involved with Scouts, but so be it.

    All of the frustrations and struggles that occurred during the school year rose that summer and the depression that had declined somewhat with the end of the school year now reasserted itself. The feeling of failure and rejection sent him looking for acceptance elsewhere, on the wrong path.

    A fellow scout working at camp that summer offered my son and a friend of theirs that was visiting camp a joint, and the three of them smoked it. When confronted by management a couple of hours later, he admitted to his transgression. I agree with the decision to fire him, for it was inappropriate behavior. My son was saddened by the decision, but realized its appropriateness. Of his own volition, he apologized to the camp staff and management, and the parent of the visiting scout. Upon his return home, he met with his Scout Master and told him what had transpired. He offered to step down as Senior Patrol Leader, but after a long discussion, the Scout Master recognized that my son realized what he had done wrong and told him he would use his position as Senior Patrol Leader to make restitution. Together they worked up a whole game plan that would be instituted when the new scout season started. The Scout Master of Troop 382 is a true mentor.

    Sadly, the Blue Grass Council believes more in beheading and burying a child that makes a mistake, than in mentoring the child and attempting to help the child find the right path again. One month after the incident, the Blue Grass Council revoked my sons membership in Scouts and banned him for life. They stated they had received information about inappropriate behavior that led to the ban, but numerous requests for the specifics of the allegations were denied. The CEO of the council made no effort to speak with my son or with us, his parents. He refused requests for meetings and would not allow us to contact the Executive Council or tell us who any of the members were. We were told the only alternative was to appeal to the Regional District.

    So we did. My son wrote a long letter explaining the events and how badly he felt about what he had done. His father and I wrote letters, as did the Scout Master, Assistant Scout Masters, Troop Council members, troop mates and many of their parents. About 40 letters were sent with the appeal request and eight long months later, our request was granted. Our son was to be reinstated and his application would be accepted!!! The Blue Grass Council was notified of this decision at the same time we were.

    Everyone was overjoyed and Troop 382 welcomed him back with open arms. My son was finishing up another grueling and sad year of school, and the ability to rejoin his troop after such a long separation was a glimmer of hope for the future.

    Five weeks later, when my son returned to Camp McKee with his troop as a visitor for the week, the Blue Grass Council turned my sons world upside down again. The Council would not accept the application his Troop Master had signed and he would not be allowed to remain at camp. None of this was in writing, but came to us by word of mouth through various sources. It was obvious that mentoring is not the purpose of the Blue Grass Council. Only destruction for a child who makes a mistake.

    The CEO of the Council demanded our son write three letters of apology as he felt the verbal apologies were not enough. Our son wrote the letters, but it was two months later before we received a letter from the CEO that his membership would not be accepted.

    We hired a lawyer to write on our behalf, requesting either reinstatement to the Council for our son, or a list of the accusations for his ban and all supporting documentation along with a meeting with the Executive Council to discuss or refute the accusations. Not only did we not receive any accusations or documents, but we were not allowed to meet with the Executive Council.

    With the support of Troop 382, our son looked for a troop in another district. Regional had assured us his application would be accepted, and my son felt driving 114 miles round trip to troop meetings was worth it to join another troop. On the night that Troop 382 issued an invitation to the new troop to participate in activities, the new troop decided not to accept our sons membership.

    Do you have any idea what it is like to watch your bright, beautiful son enter school with joy, but then come home day after day with increasing sadness? Do you know what it is like to watch him curl up in the corner of his bedroom when he comes home from middle school because he is so overwhelmed with feelings he cant comprehend? You see him feeling like a failure because he senses his teachers disapproval. Do you know what it is like when he comes home from high school and he is crying because he tries and tries, but he just cant get it right? Even more frustrating, you see the occasional teacher that gets it and makes the extra effort and then you see your son blossom. The teacher tells you how bright he is, how well he participates in discussion, and what intuitive questions he asks and for the moment you feel an inkling of hope. Until you meet with the teacher that tells you he is lazy, stupid, incapable. The teacher that creates an environment that is hostile to your childs learning style and you see him shut down.

    We have lived through 9 nightmarish years that have gotten worse as each year passed, and to be blunt, this last year has been hell. The school environment was bad enough, but the loss of scouts was intolerable. My son lost the men he felt were like uncles to him and troop mates that were like brothers. He broke and I would not wish anything like that on any parent.

    We spent years looking for help only to realize that the majority of school teachers and staff know nothing about ADD and Sensory Integration Disorder. We looked for medical professionals, but insurance limits who you can see. We looked for support groups, but he was too old or there was not enough need in town to warrant putting a group together. Whatever the reason, we could not find the help.

    Finally, last November we found a good therapist that took the time to look past the front my son put up to protect himself and he began to make progress. We finally found a school that understands my sons disabilities and is helping him to understand them. It has been a long and slow battle to reach the point were at now, but the job is not yet done.

    So tell me. What kind of a troop do you run? Are you truly mentors? The Blue Grass Council hides behind a legal need to keep quiet about their decision because they know they have nothing to justify the extent of their actions. If they did, they would have at least produced it for us, his parents, or the lawyer that we hired. Jesus said Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I can only assume the CEO of the Blue Grass Council is without sin for we cannot understand his actions at all. He will not tell us what our son is accused of, he will not meet with us to discuss it, he will not allow us to meet with the Executive Council or tell us who they are so we can meet with them.

    Yes, my son was wrong to smoke the joint, but it was not an act of malicious misbehavior. It was the action of a boy who once again felt like a failure and was looking for acceptance where he could find it. This punishment teaches nothing, only destroys and it far exceeds the crime. If you cannot take my word for it, my sons therapist has offered to write a letter explaining the ADD and depression and how it affected his ability to make the right choice at Camp McKee. There is nothing worse than hurting a child simply because you know nothing about their disability. His troop mates in Troop 382 have been asking why they should bother to tell the truth or to step up and take responsibility for their mistakes like our son did, when the only result is persecution. Though we try to tell them otherwise, actions often do speak louder than words.

    So what is Boy Scouts all about? Mentoring or Destroying?

     

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