Trust me this does relate...
I've been a volunteer scouter for 17+ years. I grew up in scouting, all my family was in scouting. I bought my son's cub scout uniform at a children's used clothing sale when he was 3(yo) in hopes he would want to be in scouting. At six he ran through the front door and yelled "Mom! The scouts are going to be at the school tonight! Can we go?" I don't think I had ever been so happy! You see, I'm a single parent and I knew he needed strong adult male role models. That night he met his cubmaster and became a Tiger. He later became an Eagle Scout. Those two nights, watching him as a 6 yo to cubmaster, and watching him years later speak at his Eagle Court of Honor were the two best, most proudest nights of my life! But I jumped too far forward...
My son's cubmaster knew I was an a camper/hiker and asked me to be one of his assistant cubmasters. I thought "sure, ok". I felt I would get involved but knew this needed to be my sons experience not mine. Soon our cubmaster was deployed to Gulf Storm and I became the cubmaster. Well you know how it is in cubscouting, once people see you volunteer, you just keep getting asked... day camp, training team, roundtable, cub family camping, etc. I knew people from all over the council and soon my son became known as "my" son and not for himself. Was this what I wanted my son to get into scouting for? No.
When he crossed over to a troop, it wasn't to the one affiliated with the pack and people were upset that "I" wasn't staying with the home team. I pointed out scouting is my sons program not mine. Notice I said "he" crossed, adults don't cross. After about a year in scouting he decided he wanted to go into the OA if he was nominated. Our troop committee informed me I nominated for OA if I wanted it, but I knew my son needed to go in first so I declined. He didn't make the vote that year but did the next, again I was nominated for OA and again I declined. Not because I didn't want to be in the OA, but because my son needed to find his niche. During his first year in OA he found out I had declined OA twice. He asked me about that and I told him I just wasn't ready. That year he started in ceremonies and before the next year he told me "Mom, if you're nominated to OA again, please consider joining". I was nominated again and this time accepted. My son "tapped" me out while I stood looking him eye to eye. He gave stern instructions to go to the fire and when I got there, I looked up and saw the comet Hale Bopp in the sky. What a defining moment for me, a monumental passing.... I became known as "his" mom. After all its only right.
Someone once asked me why it took so long for me to get to the OA and I jokingly said "Hey, I'm already in the boys club, do I really need a key to the men's room?" We laughed but its kind of true. A couple of years ago our scoutmaster decided it was time for him to step aside (burn out I think its called) and I was voted in by committee to be the new scoutmaster. It took me a good full year to get use to the title. I don't feel that I'm preventing a man from leading cause it was they who voted me in. I don't feel that I'm an example of "hey look at me I'm a female scoutmaster," and resent it immensely when other women try to pigeon hole me in that mode. What I do feel good about is the parents and committee of our troop have confidence in me to do a good job helping their sons become confident leaders.
I love Boy Scouting and I love the Order of the Arrow! Personally I don't think girls belong in boy scouting or OA... nor do I believe some adults, male or female, belong in boy scouting. Boys have a hard enough time trying to figure out who they are without having the distraction of a girl, or having mom or dad more intent on "their" scouting careers.
To understand the need for boy scouting for boys you really have to live by the oath and law. You have to believe it and that belief only comes with training and time. I like being scoutmaster and being on the cook team, both positions are behind the scenes where adults in scouting should be.