Kinda Sad... But ...

[Eamonn 61]

Up until Her Who Must Be Obeyed became sick, I was really active in just about every area of Scouting.

I like to think that I was one of them guys that everyone knew and even if they didn't like me, were willing to give me some sort of credit for doing not a really bad job.

Just before HWMBO got sick, our DE took early retirement. She was a wonderful DE,who did a wonderful job.

As well as being the DE she was and still is one of my best friends.

Her replacement was (is) a young fellow. This is his first real job.

Much as I tried; somehow I have never been able to warm up to him.

I completed my term as District Chairman. But things were never what they once were. The new DE and I never had the great communication and were never able to hit it off, like the old DE and I had been able too.

I was really happy when my term was up.

Going back to work with "Real Youth" and starting the Ship was both exciting and challenging.

When I had to cut back on what I had been doing, in order to spend more time at home, I kinda was going through the motions of what needed to be done.

I cut out a lot of things that I didn't see as needing my time.

I quit being on the Area Committee. The meetings were always 100 miles from home and about as much fun as watching paint dry.

I'm not sure if I became maybe a little bitter? But somehow it seemed that many of the things I had spent a lot of time and energy on, started to either seem to not be working or falling apart.

The District is way down in membership.

The Commissioner Staff is almost non-existent.

The Council is facing all sorts of financial problems.

The Training Committee is in shambles.

Many of the people I had worked closely with have either gone or have become disillusioned, many are just hiding out on some obscure committee that rarely meets and does nothing.

The Ship is not in the best of shape.

While there are a handful of really interested Scouts, the others really don't seem to really care very much.

I know a good part of the problem comes from me.

Even now that HWMBO is doing better. There is no way I will ever be able to put the same amount of time and effort in that I once did.

As if this all wasn't bad enough I have been offered and taken another job, working for the State.

While I could retire, I worry about making sure we have the best possible health insurance available for HWMBO.

I know the next 12 months are going to be really tough.

I know with the new demands that the new job will place on me and the demands of looking after HWMBO, remaining as Skipper is not really realistic.

I also know if I step down that the Ship will fold.

Right now I'm weighing up my options.

Sometimes irksome tasks and responsibilities can be a real pain and do make my head spin.

Ea.

[Dizzy ona cliff 11]

Eamonn,

Your ability to pour heart and soul into words probably speaks for many who are engaged in scouting. With lesser weight I have sometimes struggled to keep my life balanced, and I usually find that identifying the concerns and prioritizing is difficult. On one hand as your relationship with HWMBO is unique, and therefore a priority since no one else can take your place of importance in her life. On the other hand as a caregiver you must take care of yourself and allow yourself to be engaged in those activities that reenergize your soul with joy and purpose. As you said meetings will suck the life out of you, but I can imagine that teaching some youth the ropes and giving them the skills and confidence to enjoy life on the water can breath the life back in to you.

Jeff

 

[scoutldr 739]

Dizzy makes some good points. I have also scaled back...although it was for my own mental health. Perhaps I am morbid, but when I think that I lost my dad and mom at ages 69 and 70, respectively, and I am 53...I do the math. Life is too short to spend it doing things that vex the soul. I have decided that I will retire as soon as possible ... perhaps in 3 years. THen I will do what I want to do...no clue what that is yet, but I will not waste more time working for people who really don't care if I show up or not. I am working purely for the paycheck...and that's when it's time to quit. I have given up District activities...for much the same reason. We volunteers are just viewed as "tools" to achieve the Pros' critical goals. It's not for the boys...it's for their paychecks.

 

When my parents were getting on in years and got ill, I gave up many opportunities to move and progress in my career....I also wanted my boys to know their grandparents...which I never did. I don't regret anything. Time with family is precious...don't waste a minute of it...driving 4 hours to an Area Meeting and back is time better spent.

 

Do what your heart tells you, and don't second-guess it.

[RangerT 10]

Eamonn

 

I feel for you and understand your doubts, but there comes a time in everyones life when they know its time to step down. Your wife and son should be your only priorities right now, and with your wife so ill she has got to be number one. You have given much more than most others have to scouting, and it is not your responsibility to keep the ship going, that is up to your crew. You have a lifetime of scouting memories to last you, and now as someone once said,"it's time for the young bucks to keep things running."

 

With this crew of mine I know this will be my last hurrah after over 20 years in scouting. Two of my early crew members have graduated from college, married, and have set up a business in town, both of them are natural leaders and I am hoping they will want to take the reins when they feel ready. Then I can step down knowing I am leaving the crew in great hands. I will have all my pictures, movies, memory books to cherish forever. I will never fool myself into believing I am indispensable. I may have started and nurtured this crew into the largest in the council, but it doesn't belong to me.

 

Scouting has and is changing more every year, but it continues and so will your ship if your youth really want it. So Eamonn my friend don't be afraid of becoming a member of the rocking chair patrol, we all will be there someday and I am not too far behind you. So do what you need to do and remember we never ever really leave scouting. My prayers go out to your wife and yourself.

 

YIS

[SR540Beaver 116]

E,

 

Do what you have to do buddy. Like Scoutldr said, life is short. I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago and it has really made me reflect. I lost my dad 6 years ago and my mom is 78. My aunt (my dad's sister) and my uncle celebrated their 70th weddind anniversary on Sunday, May 27th. It is a 3.5 hour drive to where they live in Kansas and I didn't really want to drive there and back, but mom had no other way to get there. I took her and we had a nice time. Mom called me this morning in tears to tell me that my aunt passed away last night at midnight. She told me as we drove away from Kansas a week ago that it was probably the last time we would see my 91 year old aunt since her health was failing. My mom was so appreciative of getting to go see her one last time.

 

Now 78 and 91 are a lot older than you or me in our 50's, but the math tells you that we are on the down hill side of things. Do what you want. Do what you love. If it is working with kids and Scouts, do it. If it has gotten old and tiring, back away. You've done a great job and have much to be proud of. If you need or want to turn your attention to other matters, especially something as important as your wife, do it. The scouting life will keep moving forward. It will just have a different influence than yours. But it will be built on what you have provided in the past.

 

Do what you need to do. Do what is in your heart.