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jmcquillan

Why I'm a Scouter

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I found this in another forum, and thought it might be a great place to start with just why we do what we do. Can you add anything?

 

Ten Top Reasons I'm a Scouter...

 

#10 My basement was empty, and needed remodeling anyway.

#9 I get to wear a uniform with a neat hat.

#8 I like the smell of calamine lotion.

#7 I enjoy going to the bathroom in the woods.

#6 I'm in it for the crafts.

#5 I'm allergic to house chores (Needed something to fill the void)

#4 I get quality time with my son and 30 of his closest friends.

#3 It's a great way to collect coffee mugs.

#2 I needed a tax write off.

#1 It only takes an hour each week.

 

 

 

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Signs That You Might Be Taking Scouting Too Seriously

--You buy that '89 Chevy Caprice because you really like that fleur-de-lis hood ornament.

--You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house.

--You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party.

--You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and flashlight hanging from your belt.

--You raise your hand in the scout sign at a heated business meeting.

--You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocketknife until the cop said, "thank you".

--You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days.

--Your son hides his copy of Boy's Life from you.

--Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper.

--You managed to find that 8th day in the week.

--You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 pot method".

--You sneak a cup of "Bug Juice" after the troop turns in for the night.

--Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable.

--You felt you won a moral victory when BSA brought back knee high socks.

--You think campaign hats are cool.

--You gave your wife a mummy bag rated for -15 F for Christmas.

--You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat.

--You plan to get rich by writing a best selling Dutch Oven cook book.

--You took a chemistry course at the local college to help you develop a better fire starter.

--The height of your social season is the district recognition dinner.

--A trip to Philmont is a pilgrimage.

--The sales operators at the BSA distribution center's 800 number recognize your voice.

--Singing "Scout Vespers" makes you cry uncontrollably.

--The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programmer.

 

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Since we're listing some cute things about Scouting, I had to offer this. Dave got some good laughs from this, and personally, I thought it was pretty funny, too.

 

 

From the Home Office in

Wahoo, Nebraska

 

Top Ten Signs You're In A Bad

Boy Scout Troop

 

10. You get merit badge for picking the trifecta at Aqueduct.

 

9. You help old ladies across I-95.

 

8. First rule in handbook: "Blame the kid who can't speak English".

 

7. You're part of a very special troop called the Gambino family.

 

6. To become an Eagle Scout, you have to catch and eat a Bald Eagle.

 

5. Since he can't get time off, troop leader holds meetings in his

Century 21 office.

 

4. You get busted for selling knot-tying secrets to

Russian Boy Scouts.

 

3. Scout master hands out his favorite campfire treat --

Marlboro Lights.

 

2. Troop motto: "Be prepared...to lie on the witness stand".

 

1. Every year you have to put on a skirt and go door-to-door selling cookies.

 

 

 

As presented on the July 31, 2001 broadcast of

The Late Show with David Letterman

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