Phrogger

Fred, I think the biggest issue is that most of the activities are geared towards older scouts. There isn't much for tweens to be interested in.  I totally agree there needs to be an intermediate program, that participates with the Troop sometimes but does age-appropriate activities on their own as well. I don't see any mentorship happening from the older to the younger boys, just a lot of ordering them around. I guess my question is, is it worth trying another troop or is it typical that troops mainly do these events more geared towards older teens? Otherwise we might sit out the next couple of years and try again when he's older.

Hoping for some encouragement. My son crossed over to Boy Scouts at the end of last year. His den leader decided to cross all the boys early and finish Webelos I and II in one year. I did not agree to this but had no choice about it. I feel we were cheated out of a summer of Cub Scouts and a transition year. But I digress. We joined the same Boy Scout troop that his friends did.

Boy Scouts is such a different program than Cub Scouts. In the past few years (we were in Cubs 3 years) the Cub Scouts we were involved with made efforts to include STEM activities and things such as model rockets and planes, 3-d printing, amateur radio, etc. We also did the outdoor activities and service projects, and summer day camps were pirate themed or astronaut themed. We even had an Apollo 13 ground controller come talk to the group. He also loved the Pinewood Derby. But in Boy Scouts they only seem to plan traditional scouting activities, not all of which my son enjoys or is able to participate in. 20 mile hikes, kayak trips (which my son isn't allowed to participate in since he didn't go to summer camp and take the swim test), mountain biking, or rock climbing (neither of which my son has the physical strength to do or interest in). At meetings they work on their physical fitness requirements (situps, pushups yay) and tie ropes. I didn't send him to summer camp because he's so young (and didn't want to go anyway), but we went to the family campout together and it was miserable. No planned activities, the boys didn't even include my son in their card games or football tossing since he was the youngest one there (he's 10). He briefly got excited when they held troop leadership elections, and he wanted to do the drums for the opening ceremony, but he wasn't selected for anything, so that tiny bit of encoragement evaporated. Surely there's some minor leadership post they could assign so new boys feel more involved. Even if it's just "you're in charge of turning out the lights after the meeting" or something.

My son is completely out of his element and has been begging me to quit since day 1, even though he enjoyed Cub Scouts. I'm not sure what to do. I think that maybe in 3 years with a little growth and maturity he may enjoy it, but how hard should I push him to stay? Will it get better? Should I shop for a new troop or wait a while? I understand that traditional scout activities are the heart of the program, and the boy-led leadership philosophy is good in theory, but we just aren't finding anything to like about it yet.

Actually if that's the rule, it would make me feel sooooo much better.

Thanks for all the great suggestions. To answer a few specifics, I'm sure my son is immature for his age; he has issues in school which require an intervention team. He doesn't have any official diagnoses but I'd say he might even be high-functioning asperger's. But you can't really tell except his behavior seems really annoying sometimes, which makes it hard for him to make friends.  The other thing is, he doesn't like the outdoors all that much, even though he's enjoyed the camping trips with the Cub Scouts. He's on the fence about Scouts and almost quit a year ago. Then we moved to a much more active pack and he decided to stay in.

But I believe in the BSA program, I really value the strong leadership training he'll get if he stays in, not to mention the friends and experiences. If we do Boy Scouts, I need it to be the best experience possible, or he may not continue. I won't force him to do it but I'll encourage him to give it a try for at least a year.  He really likes the STEM based activities. His den leader even helped the boys build a working drone with a 3D printer. He also loved the moviemaking and game design electives, and every year he has looked forward to the Pinewood Derby. If there is enough of that type of stuff I think he can learn to love the outdoors too.

My son started in scouts as a Wolf. This year he's in 4th grade, and is a Webelos 1. Sometime during the year, the den leader decided that the boys should finish Webelos in one year and cross over early. I only realized this when I started getting emails reminding us to work on our AOL requirements. I'm a pretty involved parent, I go to at least 80% of the meetings (my spouse does the other 20%) but I don't remember this ever being discussed, and I would not have agreed to it. We moved councils last year so when we joined we were new to the Pack and didn't know many people, so it's possible they planned it over the summer before we got here. Our Webelos 2 den crossed over in February and our Webelos 1 den is supposed to cross over in May, and join the Troop on a week-long campout in June.

I am not ready for this, and I don't think my son is either. He's only 10, and putting him in an overnight situation with high school age boys makes me really uncomfortable for a number of reasons: 1. He's less mature than kids his age. (He still sucks on his hands from time to time for example.) 2. A year ago he was burned out on scouts and I am worried about turning him off it completely. 3. High school boys talk about things and share pictures that aren't appropriate for elementary school kids. I don't know any of the parents in the troop or any of their kids.  But he wants to cross with his den mates and doesn't want to be left behind.

I feel backed into a corner here and I could use some advice.

Thanks.