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About mom2all

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  1. A few years ago a small group of us decided to start a new troop in our area because we could not find an existing troop where the needs of our boys were being met. Every family involved in starting the troop has at least one son with special needs. Most are not apparent when looking at the boys. We have boys who have Aspburger's, severe ADHD, ED, learning disabled, dyslexicia, dysgraphia, and bi-polar. One is a brittle diabetic. Some of the scouts were older and had been ostricised by other troops to the point that they had left. Most of the boys were just crossing over to scouts. Our problem has been that the leaders all have a "rebel" attitude about everything. They do not want to read scouting liturature or only look up specific topics and interpret the information the way they want. They openly state at the meetings that they "buck" the system, yet expect the boys to follow the troop rules (which have never been written down). Things have finally come to a head- our oldest scout only has 18 months to finish his Life and Eagle rank. The next two boys only have 21/2 years to finish their last 2 ranks and Eagle. This could be possible for a "normal" boy. Unfortunately we have been told that the disabilities these boys have would not allow them an Eagle extention. They need this time. The SM is very focused on that core group that crossed over at the beginning of the troop creation. His sons are in this group. The needs of the older boys are being ignored as are the needs of the younger boys just crossing over. Now we are having behavior problems from these two groups. We have tried to explain to him that these boys MUST have consistancy. They must know what to expect as well as what is expected of them. The SM acknowledges this, but when the meetings or campouts come around he shows up with no plan, flying by the seat of his pants and yelling at the boys. He thinks if they don't pay attention he should just yell louder and more often. He has been approached by the committee chair, and the rank advancement chair and will agree to activities where the older boys can work on advancement, but shortly before the activity he says he's "putting his foot down" and it's going to be "his way" because we don't do thinks for the benifit of just "one scout." There is a growing resentment in the troop. The boys see the SM telling them to "get over their disabilities" and no excuses, yet he will totally change the troop activities, menus, etc. to meet the needs of his sons. (The scouts pay equally for the meals at camp, but are not allowed to eat the special, more expensive items that are needed by his son.) This man was a friend before the troop was ever created. But now he his using our friendship as an avenue to attack our sons, berate them, call them names, accuse them of being the cause that all that is wrong in our troop. He tells them his sons cannot help their condition, but they are to get over their "problems" and set an example for the troop. How should I go about opening his eyes? Is it time to look for another troop before it's too late for my sons to make Eagle? Please give me some ideas of where to go!