Explaining that a scout is Autistic, without gossiping

[noname 10]

Krakatoa, I for one stand by what I say, rules/expectations ect. apply to everyone- including your son as well. For now our society is based on laws(or rules) and respect of those as well. Your attitude of "lack of symapathy" irks me to no end. Symapthy? Is that what you want? Sure we all feel so sorry, bla,bla ect. Is that sincere enough? However, if you want to teach your scouts to do your best in everything they do then good for you. But if you want to teach intolerance of others and society then good for you as well. Your son will do fine as you have stepped up in scouts but to beg for 'symapthy' from any one is pathetic.

[Scoutfish 16]

noname...........

 

 

WOW! Turn around and look in the mirror, then maybe crack open a scoutbook and re-read the 12 points.

 

" But if you want to teach intolerance of others and society then good for you as well."

 

So, were you talking about Autistics and other mental/ physical debilitations..or were you talking about your own attitude of intolerance?

 

Maybe we should just do away with handicapped parking and DAv, and Special Olympics, or doctors priveldge parking.

 

Maybe we should take the lights off ambulances and fire trucks and stopp pulling over for them. I mean, if my house catches on fire or my wife is having a stroke...why should we bother or inconveinence other people who are on the road too. WE don't want to be intolerant of their feelings or whatever they are doing right?

 

Not sure if you ever thought about it, but you did know that things like Autism, Epilepsy, MS, Diabeaties, Asperengers, Athsma, and a whole lot of other things are not attitudes. They are also not somerthing that people want. I never met anybody with any kind of affliction that wanted that affliction.

 

As ascouters, we are supposed to abide by and adhear to:

 

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

 

A Scout is TRUSTWORTHY.

 

A Scout tells the truth. He keeps his promises. Honesty is part of his code of conduct. People can depend on him.

 

A Scout is LOYAL.

 

A Scout is true to his family, Scout leaders, friends, school, and nation.

 

A Scout is HELPFUL.

 

A Scout is concerned about other people. He does things willingly for others without pay or reward.

 

A Scout is FRIENDLY.

 

A Scout is a friend to all. He is a brother to other Scouts. He seeks to understnad others. He respects those with ideas and customs other than his own.

 

A Scout is COURTEOUS.

 

A Scout is polite to everyone regardless of age or position. He knows that good manners make it easier for people to get along together.

 

A Scout is KIND.

 

A Scout understands there is strength in being gentle. He treats others as he wants to be treated. He does not hurt or kill harmless things without reason.

 

A Scout is OBEDIENT.

 

A Scout follows the rules of his family, school, and troop. He obeys the laws of his community and country. If he thinks these rules and laws are unfair, he tries to have them changed in an orderly manner rather than disobey them.

 

A Scout is CHEERFUL.

 

A Scout looks for the bright side of things. He cheerfully does tasks that come his way. He tries to make others happy.

 

A Scout is THRIFTY.

 

A Scout works to pay his way and to help others. He saves for unforeseen needs. He protects and conserves natural resources. He carefully uses time and property.

 

A Scout is BRAVE.

 

A Scout can face danger even if he is afraid. He has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right even if others laugh at or threaten him.

 

A Scout is CLEAN.

 

A Scout keeps his body and mind fit and clean. He goes around with those who believe in living by these same ideals. He helps keep his home and community clean.

 

A Scout is REVERENT.

 

A Scout is reverent toward God. He is faithful in his religious duties. He respects the beliefs of others.

 

"Krakatoa, I for one stand by what I say, rules/expectations ect. apply to everyone- including your son as well. For now our society is based on laws(or rules) and respect of those as well. "

 

Yeah, Scouting has rules too, rules that we actually signed a paper saying we would follow.

 

 

"Your attitude of "lack of symapathy" irks me to no end. Symapthy? Is that what you want? Sure we all feel so sorry, bla,bla ect. Is that sincere enough? "

 

No, that's actually a pretty sorry, selfish, non-COURTEOUS, non-KIND, and non-FRIENDLY comment and attitude especially from anybody claiming a scout or scouter status.

 

" However, if you want to teach your scouts to do your best in everything they do then good for you. "

 

Yeah, good for him! Because that is exactly what it sounds like he is doing, starting with himself and showing it through his attitude.

 

Maybe you should try to follow that example?

[noname 10]

On the internet oh wise scoutfish we are all allowed our opinion(for now anyway).All of us. Thanks for your post as well!

[krakatoa 10]

"to beg for 'symapthy' from any one is pathetic"

 

Really Noname? You are just the sort I'm being sarcastic about. You have totally missed my point or you are actually convinced of the worthiness of your own intolerance. I don't like to address individuals directly because of flame wars so please understand I have no intentions of starting one, but as you said we all can have an opinion, right?

 

I'm all about rules. I support them and adhere to them, but I also believe in compassion. Compassion is NOT the same as sympathy (check them out). I don't want sympathy. What I want is for people to understand that these lads have every right to experience scouting. I have considered the presence of special needs kids to be enriching to the lives of "normal" kids. They learn that people come in many shapes and sizes, colors and conditions. Is this not worthy of your expectations of scouting?

 

I agree that rules are to be followed but how about a little levity at times? We are not teaching military cadets, we are developing future leaders and fathers. I agree that there needs to be limits to interruptions but if we have scouts and parents that would quit a pack because of a few "quirky" boys, then I for one wish them farewell, such callousness should not be taught to the rest of the pack.

 

I appreciate all of you leaders that write on this forum and have learned a great deal while lurking thru the posts. Perhaps I will see this issue differently in a few years when I gain more experience, but for now I guess I'm more dad than den leader. My most sincere apologies to anyone I may have offended in my previous post.

[Scoutfish 16]

Yeah well...I might have been a bit mad..possibly.

 

We do need to have an understanding though. The boy in my situation wasn't in the mindset of being a pain or even thinking he was just gona do his own thing because he was better than us. His hard wiring just doesn't work like ours.

 

He saw something, his curiosity was piqued, and he probably didn't see anything but that drum set. It wasn't a case of dismissing the rest of the people in the room, but he did not see us.

 

But again, about the rules thing: Technically, there are no rules for this situation. Know what I mean, We expect scouts to sit and behave, but at the same time, it is at a pack meeting where we do what we can to get them excited and riled up.

 

And another technicality...has anybody ever told the scouts about the "sit down and do not stand beside the CM or play drums while CM is talking during a pack meeting" rule?

 

Just saying , because with an Autistic child....you may very well have to do exactly that.

 

Yeah, I got a bit mouthy, and that's not how I like to be or try to be.

 

I do feel the need to point out what I said in the OP:

 

I did not have any problem ofr isue with this scout...especially considering his mental state. My issue is with the parents who gave those "I'd never let my child do that" stares when in fact, they do let their child do that at the beginning and ending of every pack or den meeting. Matter of fact, those same parents are usually grouped together at pack campouts during the campfire picking out all the problems they see with everybody elses kids, and are totally oblivious of their own child who keeps picking up sticks and sticking the ends in the campfire to then swing the buring end around in a circle after have bee told not to by myself or other leaders.

 

Finally, we tell the kid to step away from the fire and the kid goes crying to mom or dad who cames up all red faced and wanting to know why their poor innocent - now scarred for life - angel of a child got so rudely and inconsiderately humiliated in front of all his friends.

 

I just want a way to tell those jewels of parenthood why the Autistic scout is absolutely fine and to let it go..without being a gossipmonger about the Autism.

 

 

[krakatoa 10]

Scoutfish, I like the waters you swim in! I'm with you all the way. Great minds think alike

[noname 10]

Both Krakatoa and Scoutfish are fine scouts, I have no doubt. I googled scouting and autism and found a bunch of stuff. Scouts is just like here. There is room for all and all are welcome...

[Lisabob 13]

At the bottom of the first page, Calico made a really good observation. I see it hasn't gotten much response.

 

The first pack my son was in, the den meetings were awesome, action-oriented, hands-on and FUN. But the pack meetings were a total drag. A few adults would stand in the front of the room and read off reports or blather on for about an hour. Not one boy in his den had issues on the autism spectrum, but they still had real difficulty being still and paying attention to endless announcements (as did most adults in the room).

 

It got to the point where we'd just skip pack meetings. His entire den moved to a different pack after that year (for other reasons, but this certainly was one). The pack we moved to had a reputation for fun, active, pack meetings without long-blathering adult announcements. They relied on newsletters and other means to communicate info to the adults. The boys loved it, could hardly wait til the next pack meeting.

 

Not saying that Scoutfish's meetings are as announcement-laden as all that! From his descriptions, I think they probably aren't. But maybe there's a way to slim down the adult-driven announcement stuff, further still?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Scoutfish 16]

Yeah, I hate an announcement filled meeting too.

 

This meeting in particular, we had the flag ceremony, I asked everybody how they were doing, then played a game of Simon Sez . and had just began the announcements when the scout with Autism came up.

 

Again, I had no isue with it at all and honestly, I thought it added to the fun and charm of what was going on. But, it didn't take 3 more sentances out of my mouth (had to be an eternitry) before the Autistic scout went to the drums.

 

Now again, I do hate long blah, blah, blah filled meetings, but this was also the very first pack meeting with this group , so there was going to be more announcements than any other pack meeting.

 

 

I guess what it comes down to is this: The parents who make snide comments and ugly faces about other peoleschildren..when they have no clue whatsoever..and especially when their "normal" children act worse that the children they are talking about.