speckledpig

I spoke at length with my friend yesterday. He says that he is very adamant about being involved in his son's scouting (if his son chooses to join). He told me that his son and his son's best friend are thinking about joining, and that he was worried that his son might be joining for the wrong reasons and, as a result, would not be committed. I tried to explain that there are few if any "good reasons" for a boy that age (11) to join scouting and that boys usually join because of a friend or a group of friends. Peer relationships are very important at that age and drive boys fairly strongly in their activities. The draw is a good program and outdoor activities....if a boy gets to go camping with his buddies once a month and is getting an exciting program in the meetings, he won't want to quit and miss out on all the fun.

My friend told me that the only reason that he stays in town is the chance to do things with his son. Otherwise, he'd move to a larger city such as Atlanta (for some reason he can't stand our "tiny" city).

His reasoning is easy to understand; he figures that he only has a few years left with his son before he is old enough to drive, then he'll "leave the nest" frequently in his own set of wheels with college following soon after. Again, I'm not a parent, so I can't really speak to that one way or the other.

He told me that he is going to speak with the boy's mother (his ex-wife) before speaking with the stepfather (see, I got the term correct that time). He doesn't know her stance on the issue and is curious of how she will affect the situation. I encouraged him to sit down with the stepfather and work out an acceptable arrangement. The stepfather works quite odd hours and would frequently be unavailable to attend meetings and outings.

My friend has custody of the boy every other weekend, but he lives just around the corner from his son's family. I'm sure that meetings wouldn't be a problem.

Developing...

David

Wow, I think I had my words all mixed up today.

Not father-in-law (mine is on my mind), _stepfather_.

And I meant _Boy Scouting_, not Cub. This Monday has not found me at my best...

Let me try to straighten out my story....sorry for the confusion:

The stepfather wants to "do" Boy Scouts with my friend's son. My friend wants to be the one involved. My friend wants the stepfather to have nothing to do with the son's Scouting involvement, even to the point that he would possibly prevent the boy from participating if he cannot be the one involved with his son's program.

A bit less confusing, I hope.

Regards,

David

Hi all,

I'm here asking for advice regarding this situation:

A friend of mine here at the office has a son who just turned 11. I've been talking to him about getting his son into Cub Scouting. His son has interest, but the problem lies with his father-in-law. His FIL wants to do scouting with _him_, giving the reason that "your father does baseball with you, so you should do scouting with me".

My friend is willing to fight over this; he is basically willing to argue with this FIL over the scouting issue. He wants his son to do scouting with him, not with his FIL.

I'm not a parent, and I didn't come from a broken home, so I don't pretend to understand the situation. I instead have the boy's interest in mind. I believe that it would be best for the boy to enter scouting and benefit from the program, but I'm afraid that the program will be hindered by these two men arguing over who can "do" scouting with the boy.

Any advice for my friend?

Thanks,

David