scrapperlisa

I guess I said she was female so no one would mistake her for my den's leader. I think dens are very different depending on who is the leader, and what is their gender and personality type. The dens led by men with lots of dads attending seem very different from the dens led by females with lots of mom participation. Even though they are following the same program. Maybe it's just that our den leader and most of the dads in our den work very long hours and barely have the time to squeeze in cub scout stuff. Not that I don't work long hours too. But the dens with lots of moms in them just seem more organized and seem to have more fun. Not trying to stereotype all men and women here. But that's just the way it is in our pack.

You make some good points. I will definitely take a hard look at myself to see if I am not ready to let go. My son is 6 years old. One of the reasons I was considering going to the Wolf meetings was that at our last pack meeting, the female Tiger den leader begged parents to keep coming to Wolf den meetings next year. She said it was manageable now with Tigers only because all the parents are there, and can't imagine staying on track without a lot of parents attending the meetings. This lady is a schoolteacher, so she is used to handling lots of kids, but felt she needed help.

BTW, this line made me feel a lot better:

"First off, if youre doing Tiger Cubs and someone isnt being disruptive then youre doing it wrong."

Another thing I wanted to add is that I hate when the parents provide cookies and juice or other sugary snacks in the middle of the meeting. You can just sit back and watch all the kids go BONKERS after that. It's too hard to say "no cookies" to my kids when all the other kids are eating them too. I haven't brought snacks because I am never included on the planning of the meetings. I barely even know when they will be. Usually I get a phone call the night before or even the day of, telling me when and where the meeting is. Communication is definitely lacking in my den. I guess I need to speak up myself and see if I can change things.

Thank you for your advice. Yes, I know my younger son is not part of the den and I would not expect them to spend any funds on supplies for him. I try to come to every meeting with activities/snacks/whatever to keep my younger son busy and quiet during the meeting. Sometimes he does stand next to his big brother and watch/mimic what he is doing. I do not allow him to do most of the Tiger Cub den activities unless it is something simple like going on a walk to collect leaves. He does not do much interacting with the other Tigers. But he does like to sit next to them. I am very quick to take him out of the room if he is being loud or running or being disruptive. If I dropped my Tiger off, he would be the only one there without a parent. I don't have anyone else to be his adult partner. I liked your suggestions. I think communication is a big part of the problem, and I will work on my end of that. Plus I think I will see about switching to a new den next year. I hope that request doesn't ruffle too many feathers. Right now we have 18 Tigers in 3 dens of 6.

We are new to cub scouting. My first grader is in Tiger Cubs. We also have a 3 year old son. My husband works nights, so the only way my older son can attend Tiger Cubs is if I take him. We have no family nearby, and I don't trust babysitters, so I bring my 3 yr old along too. I asked the cubmaster at the first meeting if that was OK, and he said the Tiger Cubs are for families, and my younger son is more than welcome. However we don't feel very welcome.

When we attend den and pack meetings, my 3 yr old acts like your average 3 yr old and is slightly disruptive. I spend most of my time with him to the side keeping him busy and hopefully quiet with other activities or toys. He thinks he is part of the den and wants to participate in everything. He wears a "Little Scout Buddy" t-shirt to the meetings and thinks it is his uniform. He even recited the Cub Scout Promise to me yesterday, which totally amazed me, as he learned it just by overhearing it from his older brother. If the boys are doing a craft or activity, he wants to do it too. Unfortunately, he is never able to participate, because they only bring supplies for the 6 boys in the den, and never include him in anything. It was like pulling teeth to get a scrap piece of paper for him one night when everyone was coloring.

The Den Leader shocked me recently by saying he would prefer it if I would just drop my older son off alone for the meetings, which are usually at the Den Leader's house, because he does not want my younger son there. I know the Tiger Cub requirements are that a parent must attend with the child, and we have never missed a meeting. I don't feel right leaving my son at someone's house. All the other parents are there for the meetings, but none of them have toddlers with them. I have felt very left out of our den activities. The other parents have all taken turns planning meetings, but no one includes us on planning anything, and I think it is because of my having my toddler there. I am thinking of asking to be transferred to a different den which has a female den leader and other moms with toddlers. He'll be a Wolf Cub soon, so I won't "have to" attend meetings with him, but I still think 2nd grade is awfully young and would like to attend meetings with him and my almost-4 yr old next school year. I recently volunteered for a pack committee position and I want to remain active with my son's pack.

What do you think? How do you deal with little siblings at meetings? Are they generally welcomed or ostracized? Was our Den Leader out of line for asking me to just drop my Tiger Cub off alone at the meetings?