radfordjr

oh I should of caught on to that one

That is so funny are you serious there really is a complaint form

That is so funny are you serious there really is a complaint form

Well I can honestly say I have recieved allot of feedback. I am going to move on as CM. My pastor gave a great sermon over the weekend about how Wise people are peace makers and that some times when you deal with difficult people its better just to listen to their issue and then just let it be their issue unless there is merit to it. Plus as many of you have wrote some times its just better to focus on the the positive people and just not worry about those 10 families. Its amazinging how 10 sets of parents can cause such insanity for the rest of us

Scoutfish- well it was explained to them that the size of a den should be 8 max. These are the types of parents that like to complain but not step up to help. No one wanted to step up and assist. It was all a big mess. We finally concluded that we can not spend out time trying to make these people happy it takes away from time spent working on Pack programs so if they quit they quite. No more listening to threats

ScoutNut- Well I asked him why he didn't just tell the parents to come talk directly to me if they had a issue and his response was he didn't think about it. I told him that if he would have gone that it would have squashed allot of the back stabbingand junk. He agreed and said he would be going that route in the future. He said he was trying to defend me which I told him I appreciated but he should have just sent them my way.

ScoutNut- Well I asked him why he didn't just tell the parents to come talk directly to me if they had a issue and his response was he didn't think about it. I told him that if he would have gone that it would have squashed allot of the back stabbingand junk. He agreed and said he would be going that route in the future. He said he was trying to defend me which I told him I appreciated but he should have just sent them my way.

Well I did not get into all the facts of the story but yes we did sit down and discuss it with the parents and they all said they wanted to stay together as one den. However the adults support was not there and the kids were distroying the den leaders house. The den was moved to a church fellowship hall but still 16 boys is alot to handle. When we talked with the parent about the issues of the den being to large and a split needed to be made, all the parents of the Private school all said they would drop out if we split them up. I understand boys wanting to be together but adults acting like children is nuts. We ended up with 10 boys in one den and 5 in another. The first meeting is Friday. My next goal is getting one of those parents to step up as leader.

I guess my other concern is even though I am not the den leader now. I am on the ACM. and soon the CM. Negativity like that can be a wild fire and can bring other negitive people out of the wood works. I just don't want to see a cooh formed against me next year and i feel Like they are watching my every move to see what I am going to do wrong next it happen just 3 weeks ago at cub mobile. The den leader of that den came up to me and said hey you sould jump in and go down and bring up your kids car. Apparently some other dads were watching I discretly sent a few boy scouts down to do it for me. Why you ask I have Authritus in my knee's and I was already in pain that day from getting up to the top of the hill. Honestly is it really nessasary for me to share all my health issues with the entire pack again instead of coming to me and asking about it they started complaining about it behind my back and apparently it was discided that I thought I was better than every one else and there for it was not my job to do so. Again if they would of confronted me I could have share with them quielty that I am in some major pain and honestly I am only 31 the fact that I have limitations like that is a little embarassing. What dad doesn't want to show off infront of his kids and show how strong and manly he is.

ScoutNut- I agree with you to a point on the loop thing but its not like I was questioning the parents integrity. It was our second meeting and i was going over requirements individually with each parent. I am all for parents signing off on activities but there was a lot of questions about it and I discided to talk to each parent and son individually to go over the requirements on a loop or two so they could get a feel for the process. We weren't looking for advance knowledge as much as making sure the kids had the basics. Like name 1 rule in base ball things like that. There are requirments laid out for each loop whats the point in having the requirments if we are just going to give them a loop for just walking out in the field. Anyway the issue here isn't the loop as much as why the parent didn't just come to me and tell me he was frustraited about it. I mean that was a year and a half ago and I am just now hearing about it. And I am hearing about it from the den leader i trained.

I have a huge issue with a group of parents that is only getting worse. I was a den leader of the same Den for 2 years. We started out with 8 boys in tigers and by the end of the year we were down to 3. Last year one of the boys from a local private school invited all the boys in his class to join. So we went from 3-11 boys overnight. During this time myself and the assistant den leader where in talks about him taking over so I could step up to ACM. We started the transition in Januaury I stepped back and let him take charge I continued to go to the meetings and run the behind the seens stuff such as rank advancement and what not. By the end of the year he was running everything and had taken the structure I laid out and continued on with the help of the parents. I thought everything was fine. This year we added 5 more boys to the den and it was discided by myself, the cubmaster and the Charter Rep to split the den. However the Parents of the boys who all went to the private school said if we split them up they would all quit. We made the choice to start a new den with the new boys only plus my son. I thought it was all good till about 3 days ago. The den leader that took my place contacted me and said he was fed up and needed to talk. So we met up today and sat down. I was blown away by the conversation. The same parents that would not switch dens and wanted the den to be kids from their school only have spent the last 6 months coming to him complaining about issues all involving me. When I first heard this I thought maybe they didn't like my leadership style or maybe they were upset I called out a few boys for behavior but it was issues that were so petty they wernt even worth talking about like

Checking in kids for a rain gutter raggata and forgetting the name of one of the boys

Calling out parents who brought alchohol on a camping trip

Go through a list of questions at one of the very first den meetings we had with a boy to find out if he really earned his baseball belt loop.

Not going down a huge hill to help bring up cub mobiles due to a health issue

Not getting a e-mail about an event and not realizing there was a change in what I was supose to bring

On top of that the parents didn't think I was engaged in the second half of the year and thought all I was doing is sitting and making the asst den leader do everything.

I mean come on really you are putting me and the den leader through all this for a few petty little issues. Am I not human do I not bleed, I am stepping up as Cubmaster in 3 months and I have people questioning my ability to lead. I am a behind the seens kinds of person I am the guy who arrives at events early to set up and stays late to break down. I even aquirred the new location for our pack meetings and am paying the rental fee so we can use it. And yes no one knows that is going on its my way of giving anonimously. I run scouting for food each year but none of these parents that are questioning my abilty or commitment see all that I am doing instead they are focused on what they are not seeing. I am not sure what to do I am about at a point where I am thinking I may just jump ship and find another pack for my boys. But who knows what else I could get into. I just want to know others have delt with this same kind of petty junk.. We teach the boys the cub moto which is "Do your best" Shouldn't we expect that and nothing more from our leaders as well. How can we teach that and then turn around and belittle others behind their backs over silly things