mamacub

thanks, everyone, for your advice and comments. i enjoyed reading all of the different perspectives. i had a lot of driving time this weekend (visiting relatives), and i was able to think about this situation. in the end, i feel like i did the right thing. i do have to comment, though, on the one posting from ScoutNut that discussed the fact that i should be doing all three of the requirements at each den meeting. as a matter of fact, we have had two den meetings so far, and we've virtually done all 3 requirements each time. but i guess i understood the requirements to be that the boy knows these things without me leading him to do them. maybe that was the wrong assumption. i'm a girl scout leader, too, and i know that when i lead the girls in the girl scout promise, the new ones don't know it yet, but they put their sign up and practice with the rest of us. i go over it line by line at the first meeting, but learning it completely happens either on their own or through practicing it with us every time we meet. does that mean they would know it without my guiding them on it? no. so then to me, they don't know it, even though they are "saying" it with me. they would not be able to without me standing in front of them, leading them in it, unless they had practiced it at some other time. back to cub scouts - this is what i thought the boys were to have done with these three requirements - gone over them with their adult partners. perhaps i misunderstood.

but then i think about how the boys are not expected to master these things, just to have tried them. so this area is still a little grey for me, as you can see. i suppose i saw those three totem requirements as something they were to have earned outside of the den meeting, although that may not necessarily be the case. to me, one of the main purposes of tiger cubs is to work together with your adult partner. in that vein, how do i respond to a parent A who changes his story in order to get his son an award, and parent B who says they did x, y, and z when they really needed to do a, b, and c? i don't see the "work together" thing going on, but maybe that's not for me to judge.

well anyway, i could go on forever, and it isn't necessary for me to do so. it's after midnight and i think i'm getting a little too abstract for my own good! so thanks so much again for taking the time to give me your opinions. i appreciate it!

thanks to everyone for your comments - and the kind welcome! i like the suggestion of giving the totem to these two boys at the next den meeting, which is this upcoming thursday. i'll also be sure that our cubmaster announces it at the next pack meeting as well, so the boys get the same recognition that their peers did.

hopefully this will be the only small snag in our time togther. i know that the one parent (who said that he told me about the requirements but really didn't) has also complained because we started our go-see-it at 10:05 a.m. (it was set to start at 10), and he got there at 10:20. i just don't see the value in bending the rules for one family - how is that fair to everyone else?

again, thanks to everyone for all of the insight. i'm really looking forward to being a part of this community!

mamacub

hi everyone,

last night we had our first pack meeting. we're a brand new pack, btw. everything went very well! the boys were all uniformed, there was a fun-filled program, and everyone came. the boys had a blast! however, there was a problem, and i'm really upset by it.

at our two den meetings this month (i have tiger cubs), i asked everyone as they walked in if they worked on anything for me to record in the advancements record. at the last den meeting, this one dad came up and said "no, we haven't worked on anything, i don't have the handbook. i'm a bad father." he said that not in a serious way, just a sort of self-deprecating way, i guess. i told him he wasn't a bad dad, b/c he was here with his son. so there is nothing for me to record. when we sat in a circle and talked about how their assignment of requirement 1F went (helping with a chore at home), we got to this little guy and we talked about what chore he was *going* to do, since they hadn't done it. so all was well, or so i thought.

last night, our cubmaster handed out the tiger cub totems. this boy did not receive one, because he didn't earn it. at the end of the meeting, the mother came up to me and said that her son was upset because he was expecting to receive his paw. i told her that he hadn't done the three requirements to earn it, and that i was sorry. she went on to say that he knows the requirements, and that her husband told me this at the last meeting. of course, he did nothing of the kind. i told her again i was sorry, and that he could receive his totem if he earns it for the next pack meeting. she looked rather unhappy, and they were the first ones to leave.

i also had another boy whose dad came up and said "my son did requirement 1F and 2F, can he get his totem now?" i showed him in the book where the requirements were for the totem, and he said "oh, well he knows those things. can he get it now?" i cannot understand why this father didn't even know what his son had to do to earn the totem - not only did i give out a paper at the den orientation meeting that told the parents what their boys had to do to earn that, but we also discussed it at each den meeting. this father was at both meetings, so he was indeed given this information.

i did not give in to these two parents. although i felt bad for the boys, i am a by-the-book person, unless there is a real exception. i don't feel that lying to me or denying knowledge is an exception. but again, my heart broke all night for these boys. they *did* receive recognition last night - they were called up to the podium, given the cs handshake, and we announced what requirements they did earn.

so after all of that rambling, i need to ask: did i do this the right way? should i have given in? any thoughts are appreciated.

sorry for the novel,

mamacub

tiger cub DL, pack 5