Difficult topic to discuss with youth

[evmori 11]

A similar thing happened in my Troop. A young adult who I have known since he joined Scouts committed suicide. The difference is all the Scouts in the Troop knew him & his parents. His mom was the CC & his dad an ASM & his two brothers were in the Troops. I was responsible for getting mom & dad involved when I was a CM!

 

There is no easy way to deal with this. I still think about this Scout & it makes me angry he is no longer here!

 

Ed Mori

1 Peter 4:10

[oldsm 10]

Not to sound flippant, but I find myself feeling strongly for all sides. I think I agree most with Eamonn that we as adults need to be trained and prepared to at least recognize the warning signs and be prepared to communicate such to our scouts.

 

I think, though, that the kids often know more than we do. Suicide awareness and prevention are taught in our schools.

 

A couple of weeks ago, my son was at work when he received a text message on his cell phone from a coworker (both are late teens). It took a couple of messages for my son to realize that his coworker, with whom he was at least a casual friend, was preparing to cut himself. Son kept the friend texting while he ran to inform his boss, who contacted the young man's family who was able to find him and get him the help he needs before he could harm himself.

 

From, what little my son shared with me, I'm not sure I would have identified the messages as a cry for help as quickly as my son did. Obviously, he got the awareness somewhere.

[nusplash 10]

"I would recommend informing all youth that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" . I think this a good comment on a terrible problem. One that should not be ignored. If you don't feel you are qualified to discuss this with your troop, then I would ask your sponsor or your council for some help. If you ignore this and one of yours boy's thinks this is an exceptable way out you would never be able to forgive yourself for not following through.

[Aquila 10]

"However, similar to religion, sex issues, etc. I feel this is best handled by parents"

 

I wholeheartedly agree. It would be very upsetting to me to have any of these topics discussed during Scouts. If you're going to discuss it, please let the parents know first so they have the opportunity to opt out.

[dScouter15 11]

You're right, this really is a difficult topic. If the situation warrants it, I would encourage units to support their scouts with arranging for counseling, etc, from a professional social worker or counselor. Suicide can be difficult to address, for a number of reasons. There are so many cliche statements, that are perfectly logical and rational, and make perfect sense to people who are not suicidal. However, when addressing someone who IS suicidal, these cliches just bounce right off, or can even make the matter worse. I'd recommend reading this site: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ - its worded as a message to someone who is suicidal, and does a lot to help explain the mentality of a suicidal person. That site also has links to suicide myths, and other information.

 

Part of the problem is, suicide is a completely irrational behavior. It just doesn't make sense logically. The problem with that is, you can address a room full of mentally healthy scouts, and make logical arguments against suicide, and encourage them to ask for help if they need it, and all of those mentally healthy scouts will accept that. However, as soon as anyone starts to feel suicidal, all of that logic and reason is thrown out the window, and we can just pray that they remember to TALK TO SOMEONE, and get some help. Same thing with other irrational behaviors, such a victim of spousal abuse who refuses to leave the abuser, or press charges. The person usually realizes that their behavior is irrational, but won't take the first steps to improve the situation. Point is, if scouts in your troop have been exposed to a suicide through a scouting connection, I believe that the troop should provide some professional support for scouts and parents.

 

And please, PLEASE, if a scout, or anyone else, comes to you, and you have even the slightest inkling that they may hurt themselves, or have already tried to hurt themselves, please get additional help. If you can get the scout to his parents, that may be the best thing (or, depending on the situation, it may not!) If you have to, call 911 and have him taken to the hospital. Unless you are a professional counselor, please don't just send the kid back to his tent, send him home, or feel that you've solved the problem yourself. Therapy for those who are suicidal needs to be handled by a professional, usually over a long period of time. YOU may be the person that needs to see to it that therapy is initiated.

 

** Editted after reading Aquila's post : yes, I wholeheartedly agree that parents should be informed of any discussion about this that would occur in a troop setting. Definitely encourage parents to participate themselves, and enable them to opt-out for their sons.(This message has been edited by dScouter15)