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Boy who wants to quit

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also our scout master is a retired veterinarian and has been in scouts since a kid and constantly wants to do things the way he had to even if there is a better and more funner way. he refuses to even listen just like my dad saying that he can't do anything about it and he seems to make it more worse as well. he likes to just dump every thing on me and the spl while he goes and sits at his desk or goes somewhere else it's kind of annoying that he has to do nothing.

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Talk with your senior patrol leader. The SPL and not the Scoutmaster, should be organizing and manageing the troop meetings. The senior patrol leader is in charge of troop meetings from beginning to end (directly from The SM Handbook).

 

As for the camping trips, as the ASPL, were you involved with the annual troop planning meeting(s)? If not either you should have been or the previous ASPL was. The patrol leaders' council along with the SM and other key adult leaders should have been involved with planning the year's events. If not, change the program for next year!!! Good luck and don't be bashful about jumping in and trying to change the troop meetings and camping events.

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yes i know i should be involved in the activies but the problem is our scoutmaster decides what activities we do and we only get to plan our menu. and he chooses things that are always the same. like our troop has been going to the same summer camp for 11 yrs without change...kinda boring going to the same place. me and the spl have requested a different camp and he refuses. and this camp we go to hasn't changed in the 11 yrs our troop has been going. i guess i'm just bored with, and ready to quit scouting cause it never changes.

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All you "never quit" parents sound like you're trying to live your lives through your kids. Sports, scouts, music, etc. are supposed to be FUN. Once you pay the money, he stays for the session but if he doesn't want to do it again, let him quit.

 

Too many parents want their kids in Scouting to become Eagle Scouts. Not to learn useful skills because that is secondary to the goal. The same goes for sports, parents think that bassetball or baseball is the key to the kid's future. Enjoying the game is irrelevant.

 

 

 

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ScouterKid,

 

You have a dilema. If your SM won't let you or the SPL, i.e. the PLC have input into your activities outside of munu planning I suggest the following:

 

1) Talk to your committee chair and explain the situation in a factual, non-complaining manner. If you need to bring "back-up" about the troop being boy-led, use the SM Handbook, Patrol Leaders Guide, Committee handbook, etc.

 

2) Talk with your Unit Commissioner.

 

3) Talk with your Charter Organization Representative.

 

4) Go directly to your Council hierarchy.

 

I would suggest doing the above not by yourself but with your SPL and other Patrol leaders if at all possible. I would even cordially let your SM know your plan. Good luck and let me know what transpires.

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yes i totally agree with you. my dad wasn't in sports until his senior year and was never in scouts and keeps saying he wishes he was when he was a kid. to me it seems like he wants me to lead the life he didn't. he's always signing me up for sports without me know even though the sports thing is fine becuase i'm really good at them but scouting i just don't like and he refuses to let me out on the accout of that he always wanted to be in scouts and he wants me to become and eagle. personally i'm willing to give up being an eagle in order to be able to have fun with my friends during my summers instead of going to a boring repetative "Camp Decorah". But he still refuses to let me quit and i am just depressed in scouting and i know there is no way out it seems like to me and it's driving me nutz!!!

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I'm sorry you're having a crummy time in Scouts. It's not supposed to be like that. But if you're the ASPL, you ARE in a leadership position so you ought to be able to do something about it. What they said above is right - the scouts should be doing the planning. So, you found this forum so you know how to use a computer. Can you use it to find all the Scout camps in your state, and see if there's one that offers a different program from the one you always attend? Then, look at how much the new one will cost, to see if it's about the same - if it isn't, figure out how much extra money you'll need, and make a plan to get it. Then, go to your PLC meeting with all that information and see if it doesn't help. You could even bring the info on two or three of them, and see what everyone thinks. There's also another thread here abotu Summer camp alternatives, you could look at that one too.

 

It's one thing to say "I'm tired of this camp - do we have to go?" but if you don't have any concrete options in mind you aren't going to get anywhere complaining. If you and the PLC say, instead, "Hey, Mr. SM, look what I found! We can waterski (or whatever you're hot to do). And it's only 10 bucks more that Camp WeDontlikeit, so if we have one extra garage sale this year we'll have the money. And we still have time to register-would you help us go there?" I think you might have more luck than you think. Most scoutmasters would be thrilled to see that much research and initiative out of their PLC.

 

The other issue - boring meetings. Does your troop use Troop Program Features (TPF)? If it doesn't, you need to ask someone to get it for you, it will explain to you and your SPL exactly how to run a fun meeting and give you about zillion ideas for making the meetings fun. That way you don't have to depend on the troop adults to come up with ideas, face it, we're not the best source. Your troop will do better on advancements too if you use TPF.

 

IF you can't quit, you might as well do everythign you can to make it fun. Does your dad help with the troop? If no, is that a good thing or not? You could ask him to help if you think it would make it better for you.

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ScouterKid,

 

I appreciate the position that you're in. My dad used to sign me up for things without my input. I am as musical as broken guitar but I was in a Russian folk music group for five years. I hated it but I couldn't quit. Nearly 30 years later, I realize that it was a great experience (not many people can say that they performed in front of 30,000 paying ticket holders) but that's now not then.

 

Do I still wish that I could have quit. Yep. There are many other things that I could have done with my friends. Not just hang out at the mall but great groups that I could have joined.

 

Your dad wants you to be an Eagle Scout because he wasn't and he thinks that it will open doors for you. The bad thing is that he's making you miserable.

 

Write your dad a letter. When you talk face to face, emotions can get involved and the brain shuts down. Put your thoughts down, use a grammar checker and make sure your spelling is right. Explain why you don't like scouting. Explain what you'd rather do (hanging at the mall is not a good thing to mention).

 

If your father is insistent, perhaps you could find a Venturing Crew that fits your interests. As a Venturer you can still work towards your Eagle but you won't have to spend your weekends doing stuff that you hate.

 

There are all sorts of Venturing crews out there. At a big scout function, I met some young folks who were in a medieval reenacting crew. There are musical crews, shooting crews and even racing crews.

 

Good luck.

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This thing u mentioned about venturing well i'm in one...unfortunatley our same SM runs it and my dad won't let me drop out of that either...i've been in the venture crew for six months and all we've done is meetings and one overnight canoe trip...no fun if u ask me. i just got back from "camp decorah" this Friday and to try and help my dad realize i don't want to be in scouts any longer i refused to go to my meritbadges (that he signed me up for) and i told my scout master to take me off the list for ppl to elected into the Order Of the Arrow. All this seemed to do is make him more mad at me wanting to drop scouts. i've tried about everything to get him to let me quit. i guess i'm looking more for advice on how to get him to listen to my reasons for wanting to quit. instead of advice on how to make our troop better. ty for ur advice so far u guys have been helpful

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Have you thought about changing troops? Maybe there is one near you that you would enjoy more that does more interesting trips or has better meetings. I would think a better unit would maybe rekindle some interest in scouts.

 

Or are you beyond that already? Did you ever like being in scouts?

 

In any event no one should be forced to be in any activity that they hate. It isn't fair to you and it isn't fair for your troop to have a disinterested leader.

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My dad most likely won't let me change troops either cause we live in a small town and he wouldn't be willing to drive 25 miles to a different town just to see if i like the troop better. scouting was fun when some of my friends where still in it now that they have all left it's no fun anymore. i have no one to talk to/ tent with on outings...can u kinda see why i'm wanting to quit?

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Boy, I sure can understand why you want to quit. Sounds like it's a drag, not having your buddies around you and feeling left out in the troop. What are your friends that quit the troop now doing with their extra time? Playing sports, in the band, swimming at your local pool, or what? If it's "or what," meaning not something your dad would want you to be doing with them (hanging out with kids that cuss, smoke, drink, use pot or other drugs, spray-paint walls....) you are in a real pickle. He's not going to want to give you the extra time to get into trouble, and honestly as a parent I'd have to say he's right. But if they're into something that appears reasonably productive and not likely to get you into jail or juvie, maybe you could negotiate.

 

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Boy,

For someone who doesn't want to be in Scouting you sure seem to be involved in a lot of Scouting! You could have declined to be the ASPL & not signed up for the Venturing. Sounds to me like there is something else going on here. I could be wrong, but I don't think so.

 

Ed Mori

Scoutmaster

Troop 1

1 Peter 4:10

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yes u are wrong no offense evmori but if i would of declined i would of been grounded for years by my DAD and my DAD forces me to go to every scout meeting/camp/outing u name it no matter what i had planned first i have to go. this year me and my mom where going to see her parents(my grandparents) in arizona but it happened to be on the week of a camporee so i had to miss out on my grandparents just for a camporee... i mean i havn't missed a single meeting/ campout or anything. it really stinks my dad won't even let me have a break from it. yeah and he signed me up for venturing he brought home the brown sheet and said sign it..i had no choice but to.

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