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An Opportunity Lost

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As usual, you're right on the money. As a matter of fact, I tend to use this "soft" approach when I need to make a point rather than trying to be the bulldozer. My dad use to say you can get more flies with a spoon full of honey than a whole barrel full of vinegar.


Matter of fact, my response is an example of using this technique, I think. I worked hard at phrasing everything to make it the son's responsiblity to try to work things out. It wasn't until the end I tied everything together to make my point that it often is more beneficial to let the boy himself try to solve the problem first.


But in the end, your ultimate solutions might be appropriate... An adult sit down with the SM and / or CC. Going to the CC doesn't often factor into my thinking, because ours is VERY good at the paperwork part of running a Troop committee, but has actively said that the people part of the job is for someone else.


Glad to have your view. And to skerns123, listen to what Eagledad, Bob White, Korea Scouter, and so many others here say. You won't often go wrong. They knows their stuff!



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Thank you for the kind words. I think this forum is a balance of ideas.


The reason I suggested the CC in this case is because 123 already talked to the SM and didn't get an acceptible answer. The committee's view will likely give 123 a better understanding of the program, either by "we support the SM fully" or "maybe he didn't understand your question, let me ask him". It could even be, "you're not the first to appraoch us with this situation".


The committee is suppose to let the SM run his program within the limits and guidelines issued by the BSA. They are also suppose to be seperated from the SM and his ASMs so that they have an objective opinion in situations like this one. Sometimes the SM is wrong and the committee should be the balance. But as we all know, it really depends on training and/or the desires of the adults. I have a saying, (Scouting is great until the adults get involved).


If nothing else, the answer from the CC will help 123 determine his next move. Sounds like you have a great young man there 123.


Have a good day.





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The previous posts all gave Skerns123 great advice. Let the boy try, go through the proper channels to resolve the issue, etc. However, if the comments attributed to the Troops's adult leaders are correct, shame on those leaders. They have lost sight of the program. Rather than loose a boy because his self esteem has been damaged, because of the thoughtless comments, I would walk, ney run from this troop. There are better opportunities for this young lad to have a positive Scouting experience. I know, for I have been there.

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Thanks for your help. Yes we had let my son try and handle this problem on his own for a couple of years; however, it has gotten worse and it is very difficult for a 14 year old boy to discuss and resolve problems with an adult who has a bias against him for reasons we don't fully understand. Last week my husband and my son went to the troop meeting and met with the scoutmaster and another commitee member for an hour. My son explained his frustration with what has been going on for a long time. The scoutmaster continued to tell him that other boy resent him for being smart and rich. This is completely out of line and untrue. One - he can't do anything about being smart and he is not a smart aleck. And two - he is not rich, and the scoutmaster has no idea about our personal finances which have nothing to do with our son. This week we visited two other troops and saw recent former members of my son's troop at these other meetings. Obviously he is not the only one having problems with the troop. It appears the best thing for him to do is transfer but I am leaving that up to him. I plan to go to the committee meeting tonight to discuss what has been going on.

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