Helping a scout tie his own shoe

[Eagledad 2779]

>>Hope you enjoyed Disney!!!!

[CricketEagle 15]

Beavah wrote:

 

"Yah, not to put to fine a point on it, Cricket, but why in the blazes didn't yeh tell the poor man?"

 

My answer, I did.

 

The leader still did not catch on, nor understand. The concept that a boy can't move fingers easily is hard to grasp for some. Some folks just are not as well adjusted to work the variety of boys we know deal with. Now a leader does not have to be "cuddley" with each boy. But this issue was not very respectful from the scouts point of view. This Scouter in this case has a rather narrow mind set and narrow experience.

 

Bottom line for my son and others, he has to find a way around his problems in order to succeed. Some folks just have a tougher road than others. Others have far worse problems to deal with.

 

Even if it is in writing, I was suprised to find out that I was the only adult who bothered to read the full medical forms that the scouts turn in. Several in our unit have mild disabilities that no one paid attention to (ADD/ADHD/Mild learning/major family issues/Emotional issues).

 

Now most these problems the boys will out grow given time.

 

These are not issues that I expect the scouts/scout leadership to be aware of. However,as an adult I do work with the parents/scouts to try and group the boys or pick MBs that set them up for success the first year or two.

 

(Avoid writing MB's for scouts that struggle at that, they will get to those soon enough).

 

That is something that should be in SM training, even a one hour course on "learning" styles would be good.

 

[Tampa Turtle 1011]

EagleDad,

 

Agree but we have had Dad's go because they their son had special needs and they went to provide more labor to make up for the extra effort their boy required. A few went because we were shorthanded or it was a drop-dead requirement from mom. The "dad's in residence" but not really ASM's usually didn't work out. We have since made it clear that you make the trip you are expected to work.

 

We made the adult encampment "officer's country" and boys were not allowed to enter unless given permission. Usually just the SPL or a boy requesting a BOR. But sometimes a newbie Dad would let his newbie boy enter for some snacks or something and it messed up the adult karma. If you are the dad it is tough to tell your boy "go away ask your PL" but you have to do it.

[Eagledad 2779]

I agree with everything you said TT. As you are pointing out, we learn from last years struggles to make the next year better. After all most good scout leaders started out as parents just volunteering a couple hours a week. Even the best of them have to be trained. LOL

 

Barry

[acco40 95]

Webelos? I can top that!

 

Our troop and one other troop from our area were invited to attend the West Point Scoutmasters Camporee put on by the cadets. Our two troops were combined, similar to a national jamboree, so we would fill a camp site and also a bus (held around 60 folks). The boys in my troop were a little aghast at the way the adults in the other troop overshadowed the scouts and my oldest, the SPL in our troop and around 16 at the time took a little umbrage when I suggested that the SPL from the other troop act as the "combined" troop SPL - not because he was better, older or a higher rank but because the scouts in that troop outnumbered us about 2:1.

 

Well, on the second day, with lots of rain, an Eagle scout from the other troop (no disability mind you) went up to his mother and asked her to tie his shoes. My boys (Scouts in our troop) and came up to me and were totally flabbergasted! I used it as a lessen to not judge others, to keep snide and cynical remarks to themselves, etc. but I knew exactly where they were coming from.

 

C'est la vie.(This message has been edited by acco40)

[GKlose 24]

My wife is great because she'll say anything to anyone -- for example, she hears another mom complain about doing laundry. She'll ask why the other mom hasn't taught her (Scout-aged) son to do his own laundry yet. When the other mom starts to make noise like "well, it's just easier if I do it myself", my wife will respond, "so, do you intend to go off to college with him and do his laundry for him then too?"

 

She and I talked about this when our kids were younger. We came to the conclusion that by the time our guys reached college age there are certain skills that we'll expect them to handle on their own: laundry is just one; cooking rudimentary meals; make their beds; be able to clean a bathroom, and other rudimentary cleaning. All sorts of things.

 

Then we realized they don't just learn this by osmosis. We had to teach our kids how to do laundry. I typically ask one of my sons to join me in the kitchen while I'm cooking, and I'll try and teach him something new. It isn't necessarily easy -- it takes work. But the dividends are huge.

 

So it isn't perfect -- repitition is the key. But the minor victories are so worth it. Our 15-yr-old will head downstairs to do a load of his laundry, and he'll see the dryer is full, so he'll empty it and fold the clothes. It is such a great feeling!

 

Our Scouting program is filled with many teachable moments just like this. Some kids seem to get it and some don't. Same thing with their parents.

 

At "new parents meeting" (for parents of recent crossovers) a few weeks back, I shared a few lessons that I've learned, many of which I learned here. One of the things that I said is that it might seem easier for you to contact an adult leader for information about an upcoming outing, for example, but then I said "every time you do that, you are denying your son, and his patrol leader, another chance to reinforce their communications skills".

 

Guy

[Tampa Turtle 1011]

This weekend got the edge of the Tropical storm. Gusts to 35-40 for an hour and we were right by the water. Pure squally weather. Couldn't bug out as that would have taken too long so we hunkered down.

 

Expected some clucking by newbie parents when we got back as boys discussed their "hurricane weekend". One newbie parent just smiled and said "Welcome to Boy Scouts, you just got your first lesson in adversity". Gotta love it.