Suspected embezzlement: What to do?

[Twocubdad 665]

Good call.

 

Just way too many problems to try to solve here. Call your council and look for -- or start! -- another unit for your son and the others who are interested in a real Scouting program.

 

For what it's worth, Webelos can and should camp with the Boy Scout troop. Attending a Boy Scout outdoor activity is a requirement for Arrow of Light. But the ways in which your troop and pack are co-mingled is highly inappropriate.

[faithhopelovep91 10]

Thanks Twocubdad. They should not have gone behind our backs to invite Webelos.

 

Speaking of going behind backs....as mentioned in the novel, a surprise meeting was sprung on me back in Sept. And my worst fears for tonight seem to be coming true - THE AMBUSH. My right-hand-DL has been asking around to find out more about tonight. She talked to SM several times to see if she needs to bring anything. She finally found out from HER HUSBAND that he was sworn to secrecy by the SM to NOT TELL HER THAT THE CC HAD CALLED A MEETING OF TROOP AND PACK TO DISCUSS WHAT HAPPENED AT THE CAMPOUT. CC & SM did not tell ME (CM) or my husband either. I even tested CC last night and called her to see if she could let me into the church early tonight to set up. She couldn't do 45 mins early, but said maybe 30 mins early. BTW SM always had keys to the church as CM, but now supposedly the church is not giving out any more keys.

 

The Pack was brought home early from Camporee due to severe Sickle Cell Anemia Pain Crisis, and Steele Disease pain from 2/4 of our present-camping leaders. The 4th leader caravanned home with Steele Disease parent, leaving myself and husband (Sickle Cell) to bring 3 home unattended children early from camp.

 

The parent who I believe is stirring up all these problems is the 'committee mom' who sabotaged the Pack campout by taken on all the responsibility for food and cooking, then camping with the Troop, and leaving us to fend for ourselves. Thankfully my right-hand-DL came at the last minute and took committee mom's job. Committee mom tried to get me to leave a Bear behind with the Troop because he rode with her to camp. I didn't think that would end well for me, so I took all unattended Cubs home. All parents were notified prior to leaving camp.

 

NOTE: The SM (old CM) brought us all home early from last years Camporee due to rain. The parents were all packed up with the cars on the side of the road waiting for me to let the kids go from activities! But he's now ringleader of the ambush, overheard saying things like "we paid for the whole weekend but she brought them home early".

 

I'm really sad and scared. We're leaving our 3 Cubs and 1 brand new Scout (he crossed over at Camporee but no one told me he was particpating) at home with Grandma tonight, along with their 2 little sisters. My husband will be videotaping the whole thing. Maybe I will post some youtube vids for you all to see the bloodbath.

[faithhopelovep91 10]

Well, it's over. The parents of Troop AND PACK were either staying in the kitchen with CC where she gets boys signed in and collects dues, or they went back to the room where SM meets. I thought they were going to confront me, but apparently that's not what they had in mind. I had decided to cancel den activities planned for tonight, and only hand out patches and certificates from camp, thank the parents who went, etc. We played hangman as they trickled in, very late. One other DL mom (the one who canceled camp for her four family members and then went to CC's busines the DAY OF camp and signed back up) kept popping in and out. She told us "SM wants the parents for something"....she does have a Scout so that was normal. But when she came back and hubby asked her "what happened" she got defensive and acted confused, saying he was setting up a TV. Myself, my husband, and right-hand-DL decided to take the boys to the playground since nothing was happening yet, but when we walked past the window where all the parents were gathered, my husband couldn't take it. He wouldn't "babysit" their kids while they talked about his wife. When we returned, the SM's HS-aged son was bringing the Scouts outside to walk around the church. So, the meeting was getting started. We told the Cubs to find their mom or dad.

 

CC, 'committee mom', and 'assistant chef' were all in the kitchen, and commented that we came back fast. I placed all the Pack craft materials, etc from my house on the counter, handed a pack of papers to 'committee mom' (remember she announced that CC asked her to be CM at camp) and said "I heard your the one to give this to." My husband got the boys attn and said "She's in charge now", pointing to committee mom. He couldn't resist adding "If you don't know who she is, that's Ms. ____", since she never did anything with the dens, the boys didn't know who she is. Committee mom looked "caught", didn't say a word, but to ask "what's this?", and I told her what the papers were. Assistant Chef looked utterly shocked, and CC looked mad. She said "we need to talk about this". I said "not now", and left. I wish I'd said a proper goodbye to the boys, but I had to go.

 

I'm really sad right now, but since the weight is lifted from my back, I feel I can grieve these last 3.5 yrs. The son of 'assistant chef' who is related to committee mom and I was wary of from the beginning (she joined a month ago) hugged me at random at least twice in the 1/2 hr he was there with me. I'm getting teary now so I'm going to end this.

 

Thank you all again for your help in this. I could NOT have gotten through this day without you!

[kbandit 10]

take a long deep breath and think "we do this for the boys".

[Greaves 10]

I'm sorry. Scouting's not s'posed to be like that.

 

[faithhopelovep91 10]

My DE called this morning after I included him in an email to members of the CO. He wanted to hear what happened, but basically didn't care. His only concern is that he doesn't lose my boys' (money). There's nothing he can do, and now I wish he hadn't asked what happened. He once again blamed me for lack of parental involvement, but then offered to let me either join a different Pack or START MY OWN. Go figure! I guess he doesn't care as long as I pay charter and registration fees.

 

My husband doesn't really want to start a new Pack, but since his Granddad is Pastor of a Church (potential CO) I asked him to think about it for a couple of months. There are probably threads about this, but I thought I'd throw you great folks the question. I'm not exactly a newbie, but what do I need to know if we do start a new Pack? We would have bylaws which every parent and leader signs. Everyone would have to take on at least one responsibility from day one even if it's Pinewood Derby. Starting out, I feel parental attendance should be mandatory. Beyond den happenings, what things would we need to know/do right off the bat? Thanks!

[ScoutNut 147]

The BSA New Unit Organization Process -

 

http://www.scouting.org/scoutsource/Media/Relationships/TheNew-UnitProcess.aspx

 

 

[ScoutNut 147]

I would work hard at registering enough boys to have individual den meetings. Even with only 2 or 3 boys in a den it is WAY better if they meet on their own, and work on ONLY their own program. Meeting as one big group makes it hard to follow the individual programs. The Tiger program is VERY different from other Cub Scout programs, as is the Webelos program. The Wolf and Bear Cub programs are the only two which are similar, and can be combined if it is ABSOLUTELY necessary.

 

Starting one unit is hard enough, but with boys in both the Cub Scout and Boy Scout worlds, you would need to start up both a Pack and Troop. With just you and your husband, once again you will find yourselves stretched VERY thin.

 

If it was me, I would start visiting other Packs, and Troops, in the area. Also visit the den meetings of the dens your boys will be in. Finding a good Pack and Troop to join would be my first priority.

 

 

 

 

[jeff-o 10]

And if you do go for the new unit, please do get the den leader and Cub Master specific training. There's some things you described that should never happen in cub scouts. For example -- any camping trip with any Cub Scout absolutely requires parents to attend (or designated guardian). Cub Scouts is supposed to be a family activity, not a babysitting service.

[Lisabob 13]

One thing you may or may not know - district execs are evaluated in part (large part) on the basis of how many new units they start up in a given year. They are often less-evaluated on the quality of support or service given to existing units. (which, to be fair, is partly a volunteer job anyway - unit commissioners, district committees, etc)

 

So if your DE is suddenly breathing down your neck about starting a brand new unit, be sure he or she has the best interests of the boys in mind, and not just his or her unit tally. Other than signing the paperwork, what firm commitments will the district be making to support this potential new unit? Think specifics because breezy generalities are easy to forget about.

 

Personally, if I were in your shoes, I would be looking for a new troop for the older boy(s) to join. Starting a cub pack is a challenge, but starting a boy scout troop is (in my view) a much greater challenge. So find a new troop - one that works like a real troop should - and get your older boys settled there, first.

 

Then you can think better about cub scouts. My inclination would still be to find an existing pack that functions correctly, rather than start up another one. But that depends a little bit on your area, in terms of your options. It also depends a LOT on how up-to-the-eyeballs you truly want to be in all of this. Starting a new unit can be rewarding, but it isn't easy, and you should be thinking long-term (not just while your boys will be there, but how will this pack survive once its founding members have moved on). Is this something you want to commit a lot of your time to? Or would you be better off joining a good pack that already exists in your area, and maybe giving your volunteer time and talents to that existing group, instead?

 

 

[Sebastian a lady 10]

Take a deep breath and work on finding your kids a good solid scout unit that isn't going to require you to act like Atlas holding the world on his shoulders. If you are in an area that doesn't have a lot of units, then prioritize a troop for your boy scout and consider Lone Scout for your younger kids.

 

I would not send any sort of letter to the pack parents. But I would consider sitting down with the IH of the Charter Org and discussing access to the bank account. Don't accuse anyone, but do make it clear that the CO owns all the unit assets and suggest that the account access might not reflect the current leadership of the pack.

 

Then don't look back. Sounds like there were plenty of things done less than by Hoyle, including as was mentioned having cub scouts camping without their parents along.

 

Do move ahead with what is good for your kids and do get training.