Scoutfish 16 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I have seen a negative association with somebody saying a pack, unit, or den is "My". And for the most part, I totally understand it. But I want to be clear. See, I say "My boys", "My den", and "My pack" quite often. But I do not mean "MY" as in I control, own, have rights to, or absolute total control. I just mmean I belong to that pack, work with that den,and these are the boys I try to mentor. I would have issues with a rogue DL. CM. SM or whoever , telling the rest of a pack or unit or CO to butt out because it was "MY den/pack/troop/unit. That sounds like ownership to me. That sounds like somebody too hig strung. No, not the biggest or most imperative issue in Scouting right now, but could see how saying "My" is a bad thing - could be taken trhe wrong way! Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle92 110 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I use the word "MY" a lot in ref. to unit's I have been affiliated with/ am with now. Why do I use "MY?" because when you are a leader, you must take some responsibility, whether youth or adult. Now grant you the responsibility varies upon program and position, i.e. as an ASM i was to assist the youth compared to being ASPL when I was responsible for programing under the SPL, compared to today when as a TCDL I am responsible to programing within my den. Also when you are active with something, you are a part of it, so it becomes "MY".... As for callign the scouts, "MY" boys or scouts or cubs, I say it b/c I fell an obligation to them to provide the best possible program. I feel responsibility to them, take pride in their accomplishement, esp. when they grasp something for the first time. However I can understand the concern over possessiveness, and have seen it go to extremes. Heck I was part of the problem as a 19 y.o. ASM when I saw my troop "falling apart" at summer camp, and I reverted back to ASPL mode for about 36 hours. Thankfully a great mentor of mine, the SM at the time, came to stay camp for the remainder of the week, saw what I was doing, and had a little chat with me. To be honest the best cup of coffee I ever had, and one of the guys I look up to as a role model. Link to post Share on other sites
lrsap 10 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I've noticed the negative connotation to the "My" whatever as well. But I don't take it any more negatively than if someone were to say the Colts are "My" team. And as far as someone using the expression to the extreme, thinking they are Lord of their den/pack/troop, it's funny how it isn't used as much when it's "My" fault. Link to post Share on other sites
Oak Tree 15 Posted January 26, 2010 Share Posted January 26, 2010 I too understand what people mean when they object to adults using "my troop", but I just find it to be a ridiculous way to express this concern. People use the word "my" all the time to mean "the one I am associated with". My homeowners association doesn't allow petunias. My town has a monthly town hall. My team won the AFL championship. My church allows women to be pastors. My home country is great, but I have more opportunities in the U.S. A wedding photographer might say My wedding this weekend is going to be a huge event with thousands of guests. Yes, sometimes "my" can mean "the one I own/control/direct/possess", but that's not the only meaning. I'm all for people who want to say "the troop I serve", I just don't feel the need to be one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle92 110 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Oak, MY TEAM won the NFC championship. Go Saints! ( sorry couldn't resist .) Link to post Share on other sites
OldGreyEagle 5 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Eagle92 you are Tom Benson? Link to post Share on other sites
IM_Kathy 32 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 That's why I try to remember to say "My son's troop" it is boy led and he's a boy in it, so it is his troop. Link to post Share on other sites
JerseyScout 10 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 I constantly tell my Scouts that its not my troop, I aged out ten years ago. However, they are my kids. Whenever anyone asks me if I have children, I tell them about fifty and counting. Link to post Share on other sites
SctDad 10 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Jersey I guess with that mentality I have 25 boys. "MY" does not have to be a negative. Many people use it without thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
NJCubScouter 1389 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 The issue of using terms like "my troop" in this forum started a few years ago, and it is my recollection that it was one poster in particular (who is not currently active) who objected to it on the grounds that it implied ownership, control, etc. rather than merely membership (which is how I think most people were using it.) There was some debate about it, and some people expressed the opinion (with which I agreed) that it is usually clear that "my" is only expressing membership and not ownership, but that in the particular case of THE unit leader (SM, CM, etc.) and the CC, it could be misinterpreted. Some people started using phrases such as "the troop I serve" to avoid using the word "my." I can't bring myself to use such a cumbersome phrase, but I also do not want to provoke a resurgence of the "'my' police", so I started saying "our troop" when referring to the troop of which I am a committee member. That is not a perfect solution since it is not really grammatically correct and could be ambiguous, but I figured people would know which troop I was referring to. While "our" might still be misinterpreted by some as expressing ownership and control, at least it would be a shared ownership and control of which I was a part (when in fact all I mean is that I am one of many adult members of the troop.) At one point I was saying "my son's troop", which I didn't think would be a problem since presumably people would understand I was not saying my son owns the troop (and he was never SPL so that issue wouldn't come up), but that is worse than "our" since it could imply that I am not part of the troop, when I am. Ironically, all of these linguo-gymnastics (at least on my part) apply only to this forum. When I am speaking in person with leaders and Scouts from other troops (which I often do at high school activities where there are usually members from several troops) and I want to refer to "the troop I serve", I almost always just say "my troop" and they know what I mean. (They also know that I am neither the SM nor the CC so I would not be implying "ownership" anyway.) They usually say the same thing when referring to their own (so to speak) troops, and it is not an issue. We all know what each other means. And some of these folks ARE SM's and CC's of their troops.(This message has been edited by njcubscouter) Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle92 110 Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 Everyone, Great posts. OGE. No I'm not Benson, BUT I am hoping to do the "Benson Boogie" Feb 8th when I wake up from passing out onthe 7th. GO SAINTS! Link to post Share on other sites
Twocubdad 665 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Enjoy it now, Aint's fans, but keep those paper bags handy! Link to post Share on other sites
Beavah 205 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 I always encourage folks to use the term "our" instead of "my". "Our troop". "Our fellow scouts". Scoutin' is a collaborative endeavor. When troop get in trouble it's usually because some adult has gotten into the "my" thing, and must have it his/her way. Beavah Link to post Share on other sites
NJCubScouter 1389 Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 Ok, I guess Beavah is of that mindset also. Why can't we assume, unless there is evidence otherwise, that a person who says "my troop" simply means "the troop of which I am a member"? As in "my country"? Or will people think I am saying I own the country? Link to post Share on other sites
FScouter 24 Posted January 29, 2010 Share Posted January 29, 2010 "People use the word "my" all the time to mean "the one I am associated with". My homeowners association doesn't allow petunias. My town has a monthly town hall. My team won the AFL championship. My church allows women to be pastors. My home country is great, but I have more opportunities in the U.S. A wedding photographer might say My wedding this weekend is going to be a huge event with thousands of guests. Yes, sometimes "my" can mean "the one I own/control/direct/possess", but that's not the only meaning." The term "my" takes on a different meaning when one has an important position in the group: eg - the president of the homeowners assn. The coach of the team The mayor of the town The president or king of the country and ... The den leader, Scoutmaster, or committee chair - Now it takes on a different meaning. Link to post Share on other sites
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