You can take the boy out of Scouting...

[Eamonn 61]

Thinking of the old campfire song, "When I first came to this land". The verse that talks about having a son... "And I called my son, my works done"

This week OJ turned 21.

In some ways this highlighted my ever increasing feeling of approaching old age bu twas also a time of reflection and a time to look back.

Scouts and Scouting have played a very big role in our relationship.

I wasn't aware of it while it was happening but my relationship with him was very different than the relationship that I'd had with my parents.

While I never went so far as ever calling my Father "Sir". Both he and my Mother were in my eyes never my friend. They were my parents.

Dad worked hard to bring home the bacon while my Mother worked hard looking after the home and looking after him.

I don't ever remember doing stuff with my Father. He was never the type that wanted to toss a ball around or play games. He was my Father. I never called him by his first name. I think that I was in my twenties before I ever knew how old he was.

My parents along with nearly all the adults in my childhood and teenage years were people that I was raised to respect.

My teachers and masters at school were all very nice. At least I can say that now, with hindsight. They did care for me and did look out for me and want the best for me and from me. My role was to do my best to please them and seek their approval.

It wasn't until I joined a Scout Troop that I met an adult who was in some ways willing to drop his guard and seemed willing to just have fun doing stuff just because it was fun.

If there was a purpose behind this "Game" I wasn't aware of it.

While maybe? By todays standards I'm still a bit of a stuffed shirt. Someone who still believes that children should respect their elders and even at 21 need to live by my rules and conform to my standards. We (OJ and I.) Have thanks to Scouts and Scouting gone out and shared things that I know my Dad and I would never have done.

Of course, I'm American sports impaired! I was raised playing cricket, rugby and soccer. American Football, baseball and basket ball are kinda like foreign languages to me. I wouldn't know a knuckle ball if it hit me on the head!

While I did coach his soccer team when he was about nine and even if I say so myself, did a good job. - He went on to be the captain of his HS Soccer team. It was in Scouting that we did more stuff and spent the most time together.

I was a little hurt when he stated that he didn't want me to go with him into a Troop.

I did respect him for wanting to do it alone and remembered how when I was his age, I'd used Scouts and Scouting as my escape from the "Real World" of parents, school, rules and differences of opinions that parents and their kids have to suffer through.

For he most part I have done a good job of covering up my disappointments.

I have been wildly and grossly disappointed with the American education that he has received. There seems to have been no real need for him to have ever been accountable for things that he has failed to do or not making the mark.

When I talked about sending him to a boarding school in Ireland, I was shot down and came to realize that this would break his mothers heart. I wasn't very happy with both Troops that he choose to join. Both seemed to lack the program that I think that maybe I might have tried for.

But the choice was his.

At times I've had a hard time buying into the idea that "He's happy, just let him be"!

Back when he was about 15 Scouting seemed to have lost him.

In part because he was thinking too much!!

He'd staffed JLTC a couple of times and seen that the Troop he belonged too wasn't doing things like the course said.

He seen Scouts that he knew who were not very nice people be given the Eagle Scout rank and his thinking was that if this was what it was? He just didn't want it.

If it hadn't been for the OA and the group of friends he made in the OA I think he might have quit Scouting all together.

He did complete his Eagle Scout.

He enjoyed spending times with the guys who were his age in the OA and on Scout camp staff.

He really enjoyed working at camp.

Sadly the need for cash won out. He just needed more cash than Scout camp was willing to pay.

He graduated from HS with no real clear idea of what he wanted to do or where he was going.

I'd put aside a lot of money to pay for his further education.

He opted to attend the local community college, saying that he would transfer after a couple of years.

I wasn't happy with his choice, but after talking with friends of mine who went on about their kids spending the first year drinking and partying. I came around, also the money we were saving didn't hurt.

At first he wanted to go for Elementary Education, with a view of working with special need kids.

I'm not sure but deep down I think the idea of working 180 days a year had more to do with his choice than any real desire to work with kids. After a year he gave up on this and went for criminal justice. I think my working in corrections might have played a part in this. He also voiced the opinion that being able to retire with a full pension at age fifty wasn't a bad deal!

Scouting for all of us went on a back burner.

When HWMBO became ill, I seen how selfish I'd been and cut back a lot.

He became involved in the local volunteer fire-service.

The Fire-Hall became his home away from home. When he wasn't working nights at the local Eat-n-Park restaurant or going to school he hung out at the fire hall.

We had to eat early at home on Monday as he was rushing away to get set up for bingo. Fire School seemed to last for months twice a week, again interrupting my dinner times.

He passed whatever it is you need to pass to be a volunteer fireman. He then went on to take an EMT course.

While no longer actively involved in Scouts he kept in contact with his pals from Scouts. Most of them are about his age but most are a year older. Mainly because his mean Dad made him re-do second grade!

UPMC medical school is offering a course in Para-Medic/ RN, which he has been accepted in. It starts sometime in the fall.

He found out from his pals who all seem to have drifted back to work on camp staff, filling the Director spots that the camp nurse has to leave camp 3 weeks before the end of camp. So he is going back on camp staff to fill her spot.

The reservation Director is one of my oldest and best friends.

Who when I next see I'm going to have words with!!

The day after his birthday he went up to camp and it seems that they (Several members of staff) took him out for a birthday celebration. He who had never had an adult beverage before. Needless to say it didn't go down very well and in fact didn't stay down! Also to add insult to injury tales of his father's past were re-told and maybe embellished a little.

He of course wasn't driving and they did have a designated driver.

I'm happy that he has found his way back to Scouts and Scouting.

I'm happy that when I look at him I see a really nice young man who has been brought up to care about other people.

This is due in no small part to the role that Scouts and Scouting has played in his life.

I'm overjoyed that the pals and friends he made as a youth are still around and I kinda think that just like my pal the Reservation Director who has been my friend for over 30 years. His Scouting friends will be there for him for a very long time.

Eamonn.