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Madmax

Does a Parent Have a decision on who their scout rides with while traveling?

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If the mother of a boy scout is not comfortable with a certain ASM, can the parent have the final say in who the scout travels with?

And where would I find info to back this up?

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I cannot imagine an actual rule having been created for this. Nor can I imagine a troop that would not honor such a request. I would suggest the mother speak to the SM and CC and let them know 1) her concern about the ASM and 2) let them know that that her son needs to ride with someone else. Expect her to be asked for details, and to be asked to drive--especially in cases where there are limited drivers and the ASM in question maybe the only option.

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As a parent, you have ultimate authority over anything and everything your child does or is exposed to inside and outside of scouting. Kind of like our March campout when it was supposed to be a huge spring snow storm. The troop went ahead with their plans, but some parents thought it wasn't safe and opted to keep their kids home. That being said, I'd make my feelings known very discreetly and in a non-confrontational manner. Just explain to whoever is responsible for vehicle assignments who you do and do not find acceptable for your son to ride with. In our troop, a different adult takes care of the tour permit and riding assignments each month. I find that most planners will accomodate you if they know your feelings. Trust me, there are some boys that an adult doesn't want riding in their vehicle too.

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Is there a real issue or is this just petty baloney? If there is a real issue, then it goes beyond who rides with whom. If there is a legit reason for one Scout not to ride with the ASM then no one should ride with him.

 

We don't manage who rides where. Everyone just gets in an empty seat. Drivers are responsible for making sure everyone who starts the trip in their car finishes the trip in their car. If I don't want my son riding with Mr. Smith because I have a personal beef, then I tell my son not to get in the car with him. Or I can drive him myself.

 

I almost prefer there is some real concern here, because my patience for petty junk is growing really thin.

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I thank the first two responses! And to the Last one Yes there is an issue...I recently was a driver for a campout and the Scouts who chose to ride in my van lined up. The ASM in charge of the camp out had his son ride with a Committee Member and their son. SO, that left the ASM with only one scout in his car that was not his son. The ASM then said a scout will now have to ride with me and no one wanted to because he is not liked. The ASM then had the SPL do an elimination game. The Scout that lost had no idea what was going on. The scouts mother was present and was not happy. She confronted the situation letting Leadership know she was not happy, and told them That she and her scout had the right to make the choice who the scout rides with and that since she did not know this ASM she was not comfortable. The ASM then proceed to argue with her in front of the scouts. His comment was to the tune of If you are in Scouting and can't trust all the leaders whether you know them or not you need to go else where.

The Good Turn to this Story is that I had a Older Scout that just aged out step up an switch places with the Scout, and talk with the Mother so she felt comfortable. Unfortunately, the aged out scout was not treated with respect all weekend.

 

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Hmmm.... THis brings up a few questions.

Why did so mony line up for riding with one leader and not dividing up between the drivers? Was it the boy or the leader causing one boy to be singled out?

How does two deep leadership cover a single adult with one scout that is not related in one car?

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So Many Scouts wanted to drive in the van because they are all friends, and the van has a CD player, but the driver of the van also, has a few scouts that they choose not to transport!! So, YES, the ASM son was the cause for another scout being singled out.

As for Youth Protection, Two Deep Leadership: A vehicle must have either two scouts and a leader, or two leaders and a scout. The only time there can be a single scout in a car is if the driver is their parent.

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Because he wanted to ride with his only friend, and no driver really wants these two scouts in their cars, and the other scouts don't want to ride with these two either..Both of these two scouts parents go with them on every camp out. Both scouts have issues, but the ASM's son has more issues than the other, and the ASM says his son has no issues.

He is in DENIAL...

My suggestion was to have the ASM's son get back in his car and be done with it. But, the Other driver said, "Oh then my son has to ride with No one. These two leaders are a real piece of work.

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My suggestion would be to wait until there is a big crowd of parents around, then find the ASM, shake his hand and loudly thank him for being so conscientious in doing his job.

 

There is some disagreement over what the Guide to Safe Scouting requires in term of two-deep leadership while driving. But most will agree it's not prudent to be alone in a vehicle with a Scout other than your own. This poor guy was just trying to do his job.

 

Then, when the SPL plays eeny-meeny to get someone to double up in the AMS's car, the poor little thing's mom gets her knickers in a knot because he's going to miss the movie in the van? And to add insult to injury, she snips that she's "not comfortable" with the ASM? He was exactly right: if you're not comfortable with your son riding with someone, why would you let him go camping with the leader for the weekend?

 

The ASM is due an apology.

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Short answer: Yes, but then they'd better be willing to drive their own kid back and forth.

 

Somewhat longer answer: Perhaps the SPL should be quietly encouraged to find a different way of deciding who rides in what cars in advance, rather than having a mad dash for the vehicle with the best entertainment capacity.

 

When we had a few really challenging individuals in our troop and we were going on longer trips, we adults made sure to rotate the boys around so that neither any boy nor any adult bore the brunt of these kids the whole time. But we did it quietly, not by playing elimination games in front of them!

 

It can't be a fun thing for anyone to realize that the other boys are drawing straws to figure out who gets stuck in the undesirable spot. Even if the fellow is a stinker, that's not very kind behavior to pull right in front of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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This is still confusing to me. Is the ASMs car only a two-seat? If ASMs son and another boy are friends, and as you say the other boys' parent was along as well, why couldn't all four ride in the ASMs car?

 

From your description it doesn't sound like this situation was handled well at all.

 

We always have a scramble for the cars when it's time to leave. Interesting to watch. No entertainment difference in the cars, but if we're pulling the trailer the guys like to ride in the SUV pulling it. We have a couple of guys the others don't like to ride with - mostly because they talk all the time and won't let anyone else get a word in. I can tell you, it's really annoying to me as a driver as well.

 

Then again, I am a registered leader and I personally don't think it is appropriate for a leader to decide he/she will not transport a particular Scout. Yeah I've had my share of groupings in my car that weren't optimal, but that's what I got. I just can't imagine looking at the boys lined up for my car and saying 'oh no, you can't ride in my car'. It is funny at times when we take a break at a rest stop. Boys pile out and adults give each other either the eye roll or the 'I feel so sorry for you' look.

 

In the end, if ASM can only take one passenger, then it must be another adult or his son. No exceptions.

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We had an ASM several years ago that drove fast going to and coming back from camping trips. After a while, no one but his son would ride with him because his driving scared them. The Scouts sorta self selected and put themselves in other vehicles, often with their parents full concurrence. I talked to him several times, asking why he was compelled to get there so quickly when there was nothing to do until until I got there with the trailer - and I drove the speed limit. But he still flew from place to place, and would be impatiently waiting for us when we arrived. We all gave a collective sigh of relief when he moved away.

 

Scouts most all want to ride with their friends, but they will make decisions based on their own welfare as well. Rarely do we have more seats than Scouts - usually just enough, so all the vehicles are filled. As long as the driver is safe, Scouts are happy to be riding with their friends.

 

In the recent past on this forum someone gave an example of a vehicle lottery - the names of the Scouts going on the activity would be placed in a hat, and each drive would pull names based on the number of seats in his vehicle. This way the Scouts don't end hanging out with the same guys all the time and can get to know Scouts they don't always hang out with. However, every time I've brought this up at PLC, it have been vigorously vetoed - they want to ride with their friends! Nevertheless, imposition of such a scheme may help your situation if it get out of control -- random is almost always seen as fair.

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