Scouter&mom 10 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 "Just wait, it gets even more complex When you hit Webelos age... Mom's boyfriend can't share a tent with the scout." This is not just for Webelo's.... Un married male and females may not share a tent. We have to deal with that issue regularly at cub campouts and occassionally at BS weekends. From G2SS Male and female leaders must have separate sleeping facilities. Married couples may share the same quarters if appropriate facilities are available. When staying in tents, no youth will stay in the tent of an adult other than his or her parent or guardian. Link to post Share on other sites
Greaves 10 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 That rule says "adult leaders." Do you apply that rule when Mom & Boyfriend aren't registered leaders, and it's a family campout? Link to post Share on other sites
GKlose 24 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 There was a thread this last summer, as I recall, that talked about an unmarried DE and his GF sharing camp quarters. Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Answer the question What type of example do you want set for your son? Link to post Share on other sites
CalicoPenn 729 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 "Just wait, it gets even more complex When you hit Webelos age... Mom's boyfriend can't share a tent with the scout." "When staying in tents, no youth will stay in the tent of an adult other than his or her parent or guardian." Question - Wouldn't Mom's boyfriend be the Scout's guardian if Mom gives him that role so wouldn't that mean that Mom's boyfriend could share a tent with the scout?? Calico Link to post Share on other sites
Liz 101 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 "Wouldn't Mom's boyfriend be the Scout's guardian if Mom gives him that role " It doesn't usually work that way. Even a legal step-parent can't technically sign off on things for kids they haven't adopted (although I've only rarely had people question my husband signing forms for my boys). A guardian is someone who has legal responsibility for a child. Mom's boyfriend isn't a guardian. -Liz Link to post Share on other sites
scoutldr 732 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I think Greaves' question is interesting, especially in today's society when a "family" has many different definitions, only one of which is the 1950's model many of us grew up with. Anyone have an "official" answer? Here's another twist...what if little Johnny has two Dads and no mom? Or Mom has a girlfriend?(This message has been edited by scoutldr) Link to post Share on other sites
Greaves 10 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 evmori: "Answer the question What type of example do you want set for your son?" My question is not about my family. It's about my Pack, and applying rules the way they're supposed to be applied, and running things the BSA way. The rule quoted says, "leaders," not "parents." I haven't taken any outdoor leaders training, and I want to know if there's BSA support for making the two terms equal. Link to post Share on other sites
Hal_Crawford 15 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Let me get this straight: Mom and Boyfriend might be able to share a tent as parents/guardians (perhaps defined by both names being on the scout's application?). Mom and/or Boyfriend can become leaders but then they can't share a tent. Mom and Girlfriend can share a tent. Mom and/or Girlfriend can't become leaders. BSA is living in the 1950's; the rest of us are in the 21st century. Life isn't Ward and June, Wally and the Beaver. Life is complicated and it will only get more so as domestic partnerships of all stripes become more accepted, socially and legally. Should the example that Mom is setting for her son should not be our concern? Is it ours to judge? Just in everyday life I know several gay or lesbian couples who have a child or one on the way. What happens when they want to sign their kids up for Cub Scouts and have the audacity to want to become leaders or join the pack committee? Or maybe just come on a campout? "I'm sorry Billy, your Mom can't come along because we think she is bad." Not really a conversation any of us wants to have, is it? I do not mean to hijack this thread by introducing the gay/lesbian issue but it is all related when scouting tries to sit in judgement of parents' lifestyles, gender preferences etc. We are skating on thin ice! Are there simple answers? No, there aren't. Some things would clearly cross the line but the line gets more blurry every day. What's a scouter to do? Maybe we should borrow a phrase from the medical profession, "First, do no harm". Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Eagle92 110 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Greaves From the Guide to Safe Scouting, via the online version found here: http://www.scouting.org/healthandsafety/gss/gss01.aspx Separate accommodations. When camping, no youth is permitted to sleep in the tent of an adult other than his own parent or guardian. emphasis added. So NO ADULT, other than parent or guardian, can stay in a ten of a youth. Link to post Share on other sites
Beavah 205 Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Life isn't Ward and June, Wally and the Beaver. Beaver? Beavah? What do yeh mean life isn't about Beavahs? Honestly, yeh can tie your brain in knots tryin' to come up with rules for this stuff and fail every time. The world is just too complimicated. There's a reason why we have COs and adult leaders in Scouting, and that's so that you can apply your CO's values and use your brain. IMO, any adult leader who can't make common sense decisions that are in the best interest of the boy and the program has no business being involved in Scouting. G2SS provides yeh with general, overall guidance to give yeh some notion of what to think about, but we can't possibly write it to deal with every individual case. A Scout keeps himself Mentally Awake. Beavah Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Greaves, The question I posed is very accurate. Calico makes a great point. The BF could be the boys guarding if mom deems it so. I still think this goes to what example do you want to set. In my unit, they would be in different tents. Link to post Share on other sites
Hal_Crawford 15 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 EV: So how far do you go? A new boy George Spelvin joins, parents introduce themselves as John Doe and Joan Spelvin. Do you ask mom, "are you and John married?" Perhaps she answers "yes", perhaps "no", perhaps "why do you ask?". In the latter case how do you answer? "So I can judge whether you two can share a tent"? I suspect the next thing you might hear is the sound of the application being snatched out of your hand and parents (one or both of whom may be offended whether or not they are married) and boy heading out the door. I don't think that is the example I would want to set. Hal Link to post Share on other sites
AnneinMpls 10 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Adults on campouts should be required to sleep with adults they most dislike. That'll punish them for wanting to come along Link to post Share on other sites
evmori 11 Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 Hal, Ya don't need to ask anything like that! Be creative! You will get the answer you need! Link to post Share on other sites
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