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Have you ever had the unsettling feeling you were - wrong?


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I think I may owe every one who is a regular poster on this forum an apology.

 

For all intents and purposes I walked up to your campfire, started listening, enjoyed some good conversation and then decided that I somehow was responsible for monitoring(correcting) how some people spoke with myself and others.

 

If I had a problem with someones "tone" (which as we all know is harder to interpret online than it is in person) I could simply have shut up and lurked, or walked away from the campfire and chosen not to engage(and or ignore) any offending party, listened in and reentered the circle when I was ready. Better equipped to know who was a smart alec and who might choose to provide information in a way I might accept while carrying on their normal conversations with others - just like in real life.

 

I apologize for interjecting and attempting to bend the conversations(which while some were contentious were still generally very good) to my style of relating to others.

 

Carry on.

YiS, the Gunny

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This is not specificly aimed at Gunny2862.

 

One of the big mistakes that people make when they interact on-line is assume that on-line interaction is just like interacting in person. This too often leads to people getting bent out of shape over said on-line interaction.

 

Don't expect on-line conversations to be the same as in-person conversations. Don't assume the tone of the others message. Its usually better to have a thick skin with dealing with on-line communications. And if you do get bent out of shape, the best advise is to not respond immediately, but to wait atleast 24hr.

 

There is a reason newbies are pointed to documents on netiquette and advised not to just jump into on-line conversations, but to read over them for awhile before contributing.

 

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I've been known to be in error, just ask my ex-wife. However, I have learned that no matter how hard I try, I sometimes come across differently than I originally intended. When I go back and read a posting, what is said can be taken in different views depending on the reader, not the writer. Now, there are some of the forums that will always read a negative, challenging slant to the posting and will conclude differently than another who will read a positive slant. What I have learned over the past 12 years on forums is that I have no control over how people choose to read my, or anyone else's, posts.

 

I do attempt to reference more in the third person on the forums because often times it does take the edge off a comment and I try to assure the reader as to whether my comments are facts or opinions.

 

There are a lot of interpretations involved with different perspectives we all share and many times the clarity isn't evident on the forums. We just don't have the time to give long explanations to an idea in the same way we would in a face-to-face conversation.

 

There will always be a percentage of those who fall into certain categories of forum members, i.e. lurkers for one. It's up to each member to decide for themselves what "personality" they are going to be.

 

Therefore, if one thinks I'm wrong, so be it, but just remember, that same comment may spark for someone else a bit of insight that will in fact help them in their particular situation. If I am wrong, that's ok too. It's what makes me human and after 20 years in scouting, there's been plenty of those who have pointed out the errors of my ways and so if there are those on the forum who think the same, take a number and I'll get to you as soon as I can.

 

Stosh

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The problem with on line forums is anonymity. You can say anything with little fear of embarrassment, retribution or any sort of punishment. Every forum has a personality of it's own. There are personalities here that have some history of interacting, in my brief period here I have read some postings that border on personal attacks. Kind of ashame.

 

There are self proclaimed experts. It is internet advice, treat it as such.

 

A parting thought.

 

I have been wrong many times before and I will be wrong may times in the future. The only thing you can do it try to do better.

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Yah, Gunny, did I miss somethin', mate? I haven't really seen yeh do what you claim. So yeh might just be havin' an unsettlin' feeling because of something you ate! :)

 

Me, I'm most always wrong. BobWhite taught me that months ago! :) My unsettled feelin', though, comes from "that look" dat Mrs. Beavah gives from time to time... like right now.

 

Gotta run! ;)

 

Beavah

 

 

 

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If a man does something and there's no woman around, is he still wrong? (sorry)

 

Having been married for 33 years this June, I have gotten used to the idea that I will be wrong most of the time, usually about things that don't matter either way.

 

As far as this forum goes, I have tried to always address the question, not the people. I try to refrain from one-to-one arguments that only serve to bore the other 9,999 other people watching. If you want to argue on a personal level, take it to the PM venue. Of course, that's been said before, and it doesn't help.

 

I, for one, have enjoyed what Gunny has added to the discussions, and have never seen anything wrong with his decorum. Semper Fi!

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Oh, now I get it. True confession time....yeah, I am agnostic about just about everything...never absolutely certain about anything. I constantly worry that I am communicating an incorrect idea to students. I stop in my lectures to ask them if I have mispelled words...or to clarify concepts for me. They often seem annoyed.

I am a terrible expert witness, qualifying every statement, usually disagreeing with anyone and everyone who think they know something absolutely - not merely to be a pain (ok, it's partly that) but because I really want to understand how they can be so confident.

I am insecure about what I think I know, about what everyone else thinks they know, the present, the future...there is no such thing as security - only an illusion and even the illusion is uncertain for me.

That's why I like the trail so much. In the human world there is a tantalizing possibility that we can fool ourselves into thinking we can control our lives. In nature such illusions are less available and we can become more as one with it.

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Growing up (I think I'm grown up), I found that some of the folks I admired most were the ones that could say they were 'sorry' for their own action or words. Admitting fault, 'owning' ones error and not trying to pass it off to someone else is a sign, I think, of being further along the human trail than others. It surprises people and is often the only way of de-fusing dangerous situations. Even if the error/hurt/problem is not immediately recognized by the affected party, if the actor (not the acted upon) admits to the difficulty early on, it will more often than not by-pass the argument and recrimination that might otherwise follow.

 

Thank you Gunny..

 

YiS&C

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