Stepping Down--and feeling pretty good about it.

[Laurie 10]

I never ever thought I'd want to leave Cubs, but I've been ready to go for awhile. Sad thing is that I've been involved for such a short time, too short to feel such relief over moving on. Just this week I learned that the person I'd asked to replace me will do so. So, come March 1, I'm not sure what role I'll fill, if any, in Cubs. Both boys will be in a troop, and the troop is great for the boys and adults alike, and my husband would like me to become more involved in the troop. He's not sure how, just thinks I should be there and active. The need in the pack is such that I've been asked to please help however I can, but I wonder...how do you make that kind of decision? When you're really tired of a unit because it always seems to be so hard to have fun, is that a signal that it's time to leave completely? Or maybe to just change roles? For those who've been around awhile or faced a similar decision, I'd welcome your ideas/advice.

[SemperParatus 1]

Once you get involved with the troop, you will soon forget about cubs (it will remain as a fond memory, I hope). Move on without regrets or a sense of guilt. It is time for someone else to carry the cub torch. You can certainly be available to help the pack, if you choose, but be selective and do it with joy rather than out of a sense of obligation. Best of luck.

[Eamonn 61]

Laurie,

You know that I have for a very long time been a great admirer of you. Even if we did have that misunderstanding about "Way To Go."

Through your postings and the E-mails that we have exchanged, your love of the program has shone through. Your love and caring for the little Lads is what makes Cub Scouting really work.

Moving on or moving out is not going to be easy. Weighing all the pros and cons, is something that only you can do. What might be a big pro for me could be different for you.

I really enjoyed the time I spent as Scoutmaster, leaving the troop was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. It was made easier because I was moving away. Hearing that it was going down hill and then hearing that it wasn't there any more was very painful. I have to admit that not being active and only attending a couple of meetings a year was really nice. Again I was really busy, working my tail off chasing the dollar bill. So I didn't have or didn't take the time to think about the youth members. Scouting without kids!! Didn't seem like Scouting, I suppose at some level I thought that what we were doing was for the youth, but they were not around and the meetings were like a chance to catch up with what the other guys on the committee were doing and then go for a drink.

When I got involved with the pack, it was like turning the clock back. I hadn't done anything with Cub Scouts for over 20 years. The little fellows were great, I really enjoyed working with the Webelos Scouts. Trying to get the Pack to work like it should and undo and then redo what was to what I thought it should be was a challenge. I didn't know it at the time but I was allowing myself to become more and more involved. I started helping at R/T, then I got involved in Training and then became Assistant District Commissioner Cub Scouts. About this time our District Commissioner started having enormous personal problems. Her husband was hitting her and she had a break down. She went MIA. No one had the heart to replace her, and I got left "Holding The Baby".

About now a couple of things became very obvious. The first was that I wasn't being fair to Her Who Must Be Obeyed, she was working part time at the hospital, something she took on in the early days to get her out of the house, but then for a long time it turned out that we needed her to work in order to get the Health Insurance, and there were times when we needed that pay check so we could the staff in the restaurant. Scouting was taking me away from the restaurants and I was passing more and more things that I should have been doing to her. I thought nothing about taking a week off to attend Wood Badge and just telling her what needed doing.

The other thing was that I was so busy doing "District Stuff" that I was neglecting the Pack. I did see what I was doing to my wife was unfair, but it took the Assistant Cubmaster having the guts to meet with me face to face and say it as it was before I seen what I was (Wasn't) doing with the pack.

We made the announcement to the parents at a B&G banquet. We had informed the Den Leaders and the committee. Some of the Den Leaders were very unhappy, some thought I was trying to be promoted!! Some didn't like the Assistant Cubmaster and some didn't care less.

I did feel that I had let the little fellows down and for a while I couldn't look them in the eye. I had been asked to stay on as a Pack Committee Member, but I didn't think that this would be fair to the new Cubmaster. Her Who Must Be Obeyed remained on the Pack Committee, she didn't like the new Cubmaster, for a while She and a couple of Den Leaders would come to me telling me about things that they didn't approve of.

I had given up the thing that I liked most about Scouting. I gave up having that interaction with the boys. I have to admit that I didn't miss the fund raising, and believe it or not the Pack Meetings. Handing out Awards to 65 Cub Scouts, was taking most of the meeting. The acoustics in the meeting hall were terrible and the behavior of some of the Cub Scouts siblings left a lot to be desired.

I worked my tail off to sort the Commissioner Staff out. I was very fortunate to have worked with two District Chairmen who became very close friends and a DE that I thought the world of. I was shocked when I was asked to be the District Chairman. I was really saddened when I seen the new District Commissioner in action. The warm and cuddly staff that I had worked so hard to build up were being replaced with a bunch of twits that must have been trained at Storm Trooper's School.

You will do what I hope is best for you.

Still you might want to think about where will you do the most good?

Maybe you could consider being a member of the troop committee, which would be very warm and cozy!! Right now, but look into the future will your boys want both parents involved in their spare time activity? I know that OJ really values his Independence.

With your knowledge and great outlook on Scouting, I think that you would be a great addition to the training team either as a Trainer or as part of the R/T staff. I know for sure that if I got wind of you stepping down from the pack, that I would be on the phone to the nominating committee and you would find me and a member of that committee on your doorstep.

Please, don't become a do nothing ASM!! You will not enjoy it. Her That Must Be Obeyed, really enjoys getting away from OJ and I for the meetings that she has for the Council Recognition Dinner, she gets to spent time with people she likes and they do a wonderful job.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as I know that what you are going through isn't easy.

Put on the back burner till after the holidays. I really hope you all have the warmest and merriest of Christmas's and the coming year is kind to you.

Eamonn

[Laurie 10]

Wow, two responses with so very much to think about--thank you. Semper, right now the fond memories are outnumbered by the difficulties faced this past two years, but I agree with you that staying out of obligation is not good--the boys would see that anyway, I think. And Eamonn, you are too kind, but your words are a balm to a rather weary Cub Scouter at the moment. Thank you. You know, you're right--this can wait until after the holidays. The very best to you and yours too!!

[fotoscout 15]

Hi Laurie,

 

One of the things we lack at a Council and District level is people who have a recent attachment to, and current knowledge of the Cub Scout program. Additionally, our Council and District committees (except training) rarely have anyone in attendance to champion the Cub Scout needs.

 

I am sure you know where this is going. Either as a UC, or a committee member, your love of the CS program would be an asset to your Council or District. Its a way to stay involved and help other CSs and CS Leaders without a commitment to the demands of being a Den Leader. You'd still be able to help out with the troop, and provide some much needed support in the Cub Scout arena.

 

 

Just my two cents.

 

[Fuzzy Bear 12]

Laurie,

 

Your title says that you are leaving and "feeling pretty good about it". That may mean that you are leaving but you are not totally convinced that it is the right choice to make. Then you make the statement that 'the Pack has asked for your help'. That may lay the groundwork for guilt, which in turn makes you feel unsure about your decision.

 

You also requested insight based on experience as if that might give you the correct answer. I would ask you to ask yourself some questions that might help you formulate an answer. First ask yourself if you are leaving the Pack in better shape than it was when you entered. Next, because of your help did the Pack grow into a unit that can sustain itself? Next, does the Pack need you to help with recruitment of other leaders to replace yourself or are they asking you to take a job that can be done by another parent?

 

If you answer the first question in the affirmative, then remove all guilt. If you can answer the second question positively, then you went beyond your job but the Pack still may feel insecure. The next answer has to do with the most important aspect of running a Pack and that is recruiting people into positions that will make the Pack go, even without you. You may be the key person to do this and people know it. If this is their need, then it is temporary assistance they are asking for and not a permanent position of leadership. If this is their request, then it is a great compliment to you.

 

Your answers will then give you an indication as to how to best answer your question and choose your next job in Scouting.

 

 

Merry Christmas,

FB

[JimmyD 10]

Well in my pack I was a den chief for 5 or 6 years. I had a great time working with the cub pack but many things took place usch as our cubmaster resigning after a terrific 20+ years of service to the pack. I didn't forget about him when it came time for ceremonies for my eagle scout and he was really appareative about that. about 3 years ago ago the cub pack started to just go down hill very quickly. since that great cub master we've had 2 others who quit/left within a 3 year period. This year our pack entered in wiuthout a cub master. We have one now, I don't really know the guy but from what i've heard he is well liked. Anyways my last year i decided to before entering my junior year in high school it would be my last year. I let it everyody know ahead of time. THat year I worked with the wolf den and it was probably my best year of all. ALl of the kids I had were well behaved, I never had raise my voice or anything with them and everyone had a good time. We got a lot done. However it did take a lot of my time thursda nights. I was usually there from like 6:30-9 PM most nights beucase of work at the begining and at the end.

 

the followng year i left the pack was fallnig apart even more. THere wasn't enough leadership with adults. THis year they have a new cubmaster and every den has at least 1 good den leader in it. Hopefully the pack can grow back up to 30-40 kids like it was in the past. Hopefully the troop can grow beucase right now the troop only has 6-8 active kids and it is in really bad shape.

 

I hope after i'm done with college (3 1/2 years to go) whereever I land up I hope i cna help some type of scouting program.

[Lynda J 10]

I could have written this post a year ago. I started with Tigers. By the time my boys were Web II's I was sick of the pack. Tired of the bickering, infighting and such. I was really glad to move up into the Troop. Problem is that the Pack in now in trouble and our DE has ask me to come back and help.

 

But I don't know. Some of the same people are there still and believe me. I will step on some toes if the district wants me to get things straightened out.

But once you move into working with the troop you will love it. I am ASM. The gal that I shared the den with is now Committee Chair.

Working with the troop is totally different from pack life. The boys do all the work. You have very little planning to do. And if you do let it be a "boy run troop" You can sit back and really enjoy.