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mashmaster

What would you do?

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I have an adult leader basically an ASM, that only seems to do for their kids and nothing for the general set of kids in the unit.  Usually low communication unless her kids are involved.  She gets them their always a little late so the other kids have had to pick up the slack to get things rolling when it is their responsibility.  She has taken just about every known training so it isn't that.  It just appears to be how they roll.

Others have noticed what I have perceived for a while, took them longer but they see it. 

In your experience what is the best way to address this?

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With the limited info, I have a bit of generic ideas on this.  How about having that ASM in a different role than scouting her own kids.  With another patrol or area of the troop.  Being late is not a crime, I learned this from my wife.  How the unit works knowing they will be late is the test.  Maybe the late comers are put on the closing rather than the opening.  Getting to a meeting on time is not the scouts' fault if they can't control the method of transportation.  This is one place where the SM has to do some "talent management" of that ASM to the least negative impact.

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There is not an easy way to deal with this other than strait on. I like Double Eagle's suggestions, but some parents just can't help themselves. I had one such parent that was so bad that he took his sons patrol to McDonalds when they were complaining about food. When we talked to him, he shutdown and eventually took his kids and left. Another was continually hours late from campouts, There are things to worry about because "WHERE ARE THEY?". He also had a problem of stopping off for a meal. He was asked to step back and we never saw his again either. He didn't take his son out of the program however. 

I'm not saying your adult will be that extreme, but as a SM, you will have to learn to deal with difficult situations and adults. You have to protect your program and scouts. Some adults will not choose what is best for their scout or the program.

We have a saying here; start with cup of coffee and see where that goes. But, stand firm because this won't be your first situation. Parent respect an authority that is fair and consistent so they know the kind of person that they are leaving their kids with for weekend or week. So, be brave, fair and consistent. 

Barry

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Posted (edited)
40 minutes ago, mashmaster said:

I have an adult leader basically an ASM,

Ok, this is where the confusion starts: are they an ASM or not? Not "basically". Not "sorta". They either are an ASM or they aren't.

If they are NOT an ASM, then the next part ("that only seems to do for their kids and nothing for the general set of kids in the unit.") is one thing. But if they are an ASM, then they are suppose to serve the unit, not their kid.

Edited by CynicalScouter

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Yeah, I am not blaming the youth. I can work with the youth.  The Adult doesn't seem to understand our conversations. I wish it was simple tasks like flags or something like that. It is more typically rigging boats or de-rigging boats which is a task that takes time and isn't a ton of fun. 

I know I am being vague but it is a pattern that I am hoping to get stopped.

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1 hour ago, Eagledad said:

There is not an easy way to deal with this other than strait on.

 

2 minutes ago, mashmaster said:

They are a Mate in the Ship.  Which is equivalent to an ASM.

OK.  Now I get it.  Throw him in the strait.  At first, I thought it was a misspelling. ;)

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You and the skipper must confront the behavior directly. List bad behaviors. Explain that they have to stop. Then ask if there's another problem that you don't see that's motivating her to violate protocol.

Be prepared for it to not go well. But for the sake of those scouts, you need to give it a shot.

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5 minutes ago, qwazse said:

You and the skipper must confront the behavior directly. List bad behaviors. Explain that they have to stop. Then ask if there's another problem that you don't see that's motivating her to violate protocol.

Be prepared for it to not go well. But for the sake of those scouts, you need to give it a shot.

Thanks.....

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13 minutes ago, mashmaster said:

Thanks.....

You're welcome. BTW, that's precisely what I expect of my SM's and ASM's regarding my behavior. Iron sharpens iron.

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