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RookieMom

My kids love scouts, but....

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Our pack is a tiny pack. It has about 13 active scouts for the whole back. Two members of the pack are the cubmaster's sons. These 2 boys are always fighting, always cussing, always being defiant and rude. They have been caught playing with lighters during meetings. They have been caught stealing during meetings. Not only is their behavior deplorable, they treat others terribly. We have lost numerous scouts due to these boys behavior and now my children want to quit as well. I want my kids to enjoy scouts but they cannot do it with these 2 boys. Many of us parents have pointed this out to the Cub master who simply says to let them do what they want and the boys won't throw fits. It's come to a point where these boys are destructive and dangerous and are running other kids out of the pack.  Has anyone else ever had to deal with the situation like this? Are there other options for scouting rather than having to be in this pack?

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Welcome to the forum, @RookieMom. Sorry it had to be under such circumstances. To answer your questions: Yes, and find another pack. The transfer cost is $1 and fill out a form.

13 is a really small number. I don't know where you live but if there are more packs then go check them out with your kids. If there aren't other packs then talk to the Chartered Org Rep and your committee chair. The cubmaster reports to them. If he can't control the scouts then there's an issue to be solved.

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Rookiemom,   parent hood does not come with an instruction manual, but you know what is what, obviously.  Amen to MattR's recommendations.  

Also, I would approach the other parents and form a "Ad Hoc Committee to Address the Problem Cub's Problem."   The Cubmaster/parent has problems that need  defining, confronting, sympathy,  and (MAYBE) understanding .  You and your fellow Pack Parents, unfortunately, are not the ones to help with these.   Your duty is to your Cubs.  The CO, The COR need to take charge here, and YOU need to vote with your feet....

Good Scouting to you, in any event. 

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While some units act like everyone who goes to a particular school or church must attend the associated Pack/Troop, you are welcome to shop around. I recommend looking at the unit finding website at https://beascout.scouting.org The information there can be a bit out of date but should let you know where else to look. In your situation I would definitely look around for a new pack.

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16 minutes ago, malraux said:

... you are welcome to shop around...

I fully agree.  I hate troop shopping as a default hoop to jump through.  But, if your current scouting unit is not a good match at any time, look for a better situation.  There is no reason you can't change at any time.

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7 minutes ago, fred8033 said:

I fully agree.  I hate troop shopping as a default hoop to jump through.  But, if your current scouting unit is not a good match at any time, look for a better situation.  There is no reason you can't change at any time.

Having listened to lots of people with troubles in their current troop stay miserable for far too long, people really should consider it more often and quickly.

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15 minutes ago, malraux said:

Having listened to lots of people with troubles in their current troop stay miserable for far too long, people really should consider it more often and quickly.

I agree.  IMHO, scouts should cross over directly from cubs to the lined up boy scout troop.  And be provided resources and channels at all levels (Tiger --> Eagle) to easily find and switch units.

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I had a similar problem, but it involved adults. My sons expressed their opinions on the problem adults to me, the SM, and the oldest to his BOR ( middle son had both problem makers on his BORs) Other Scouts complained about the behavior.. Problems got worse and worse. I finally had enough, and left the troop. BEST. DECISION.I. MADE! ( caps, underline, and bold for major emphasis). I admit, I miss my Scouts and my Scouter friends in the other troop, but the decision to leave was the best one. The attitudes my sons have towards the new trrop are a 180 degree turn around. Instead of dreading camp outs, they are now looking forward to them.

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RookieMom, you are getting opinions with a lot of years experience behind them shared with you here. 

I was a Cubmaster for 10 years.  We operated out of a parochial school, so most of the scouts were from the school, but at least a couple times a year we had families visit our Pack with a boy who was "done".  For whatever reason, their old Pack wasn't a good fit for their son and he now hated being a Cub Scout.  I really felt for those families and tried to go all out making them feel at home.  A lot of those boys ended up joining us and having a blast the rest of their Cub Scout careers.  At least four of them stayed with their new friends and entered our troop.  Three of hose boys are now Eagle Scouts and the fourth is still enjoying his career as a Boy Scout.  I'm not telling you this to toot my horn, but rather to point out that those young men would never have gotten the experiences and benefits of Boy Scouting if their parents hadn't been proactive and found a way to expose their boys to a different experience with Cub Scouting.  Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.  Go find a good pack before your old one ruins all the fun of Cub Scouting for your boys.       

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Thank you everyone for your thoughts! Unfortunately the committee chair is best friends with the CubMaster, so I don't know how far any of us would get on that track. The next closest pack is 3o minutes away. Its doable though. I do have understanding for the situation of the parent. My oldest child has a mental illness and I actually chose to pull him out of scouts halfway through his year as a Bear for the sake of the other scouts. So I get it, I really do. But at some point my sympathy for their situation is greatly overshadowed by my desire for my children to have a positive scouting experience. Again, thanks everyone for your comments! I really appreciate the feedback!! 

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6 hours ago, RookieMom said:

. The next closest pack is 3o minutes away. Its doable though.

It sounds like you are in a fairly isolated area (in terms of Scouting opportunities).   You may have to take the hit and drive  quite a way to get your Scouts into a better situation.

Another option would be to find enough families to form another Pack in your area.  Just a thought.

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And... you may have the reason your pack is so small. Few parents want their children exposed to such behaviors.

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Where I am from most of the fun is at the den meetings. Why not reduce the number of pack functions you attend.

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On ‎1‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 11:39 AM, RookieMom said:

We have lost numerous scouts due to these boys behavior and now my children want to quit as well. 

Let them quit. Scouting isn't like school. If they don't enjoy it anymore, they should try something else.

 

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I agree with @David CO

Thirty minutes away (an hour in transit) every week is too much for young boys. It's not a good trade in order to stay away from undisciplined, impertinent youth.
There are a lot better ways to enjoy time with your boys .. not the least of which would be cracking open their cub scout books (or any other book from the library) and doing the activities with your family.

Revisit the idea of scouts (literally, visit the troop and talk to some leaders there) when they are 11 years old.

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