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Great choice @Eagle94-A1.

While I fully get the desire to help improve a troop, at some point we all realize they often don't want to change.  Your son's time in Scouting is just way too short to struggle with a troop that doesn't share your son's vision of how a troop should work.  Your time as a parent is too precious to have the level of frustration that this troop has caused you.  

All my best in finding the right troop for you all!

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To coin a phrase...and try to refrain from saying this to everyone (though you want to)   Boy Scouts (11-17 year olds) was NEVER intended in any way shape or form to be a family event or gro

Wanted to give an update, especially since @CodyMiller351 posted about a problem Scouter and this may help him out. My boys and I leaving was indeed the catalyst for the troop's core adults to st

I have been very impressed with the courteous and respectful manner in how you've handled the situation from the beginning. If nothing else, they are loosing the role model of an Eagle Scout.  Ba

If I were SM (and maybe this is why I never was), I would send a letter to the SE asking that the AoL of these Webelos be denied because they did not camp with the troop and therefore did not complete the requirements as written.  I'd cc the parents.

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7 hours ago, qwazse said:

If I were SM (and maybe this is why I never was), I would send a letter to the SE asking that the AoL of these Webelos be denied because they did not camp with the troop and therefore did not complete the requirements as written.  I'd cc the parents.

Ahh.... that would be fun... which is why I write out some emails and just send them to the delete bin.  😀

Camping with a Troop is no longer required for scouting adventure or AOL.  Only an outdoor activity.  One could argue they didn’t follow the patrol method.  However, if you did take that path I think it could make the situation worse as the existing leadership would point to a “disgruntled ex leader” and deflect blame.  In the end, I see silently leaving as a louder statement.   

FYI.... not to derail this thread.

  1. With your Webelos den leader, parent, or guardian, participate in a Boy Scout troop's campout or other outdoor activity. Use the patrol method while on the outing.
Edited by Eagle1993
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I am really sad to here this, not so much because of the move,  but because it's so hard. Passion is amazing; it has the power to move mountains, but the softness to bruise easily. 

You have been talking about this troop for a few years and I admit that I rather you had applied your effort toward a troop more like your youth experience. Looks like that will happen now.

Still, this experience isn't without purpose, you have some rare knowledge for future scouters with similar experiences. Adults are desperate for help that will ease their struggles. You certainly have a lot of experience there.

I look forward to reading about your future adventures.

Barry

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As Julius Caesar said, "Alea iacta est." The die is cast. Informed the SM next week is our last one with the troop to finish things up. Also told the CM I will be stepping down as Webelos DL. I don't feel comfortable being the WDL for this pack anymore since the entire purpose was not only to fill a position, but promote the troop and prepare them to join it. I do not want a repeat of being blamed for stealing another troop's Webelos. SM got the full story. CM got the one for public consumption, Monday nites are getting crazy for us. That is true. but it isn't everything as I've posted here.

Edited by Eagle94-A1
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I think it's time to put a end to this "family-friendly" stuff.  It has it's place but they should not be allowed to go on the camping trips if they are causing problems.  If they want to become official leaders and learn what they need to, then fine.  This is sounding less like Boy Scouts and more like a couple parents taking advantage of y'all and just tagging alone, doing things their way.  The best thing to do would be to sit everyone down and explain the problems.  Try to get the parents to become actual leaders.  Those who agree, great; those who don't, bye!  They can find a different troop who will put up with their crap.  If you do decide to find a different troop, I wish you the best of luck.  

Edited by CodyMiller351
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Well the boys and I came back from visiting the troop. Meeting was atypical, only uniforms worn were by my sons and the adults. It was their annual Halloween party with a costume contest. Orsin Krennic won best costume. Overall it went very well. My guys were a little nervous and standoffish at first, but once the food was served, it went well. They had a good time. The word is out, and one of the folks I thought would transferred called to find out and said he's thinking of it.

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Now is the part of the transfer I am dreading, why we are leaving and having folks follow us over. As I mentioned, word is out, and I already had one Scout call my oldest about the matter. he plans on transferring. And I can see 2 to 3 others doing the same.

Had the SM message me last nite about what could the troop do to keep us. This was after my boys visited the troop. The positivity  and happiness was a 180 turnaround of late. So I told the SM it is too late. But I want to meet with him, and go into specifics without having to worry about eavesdroppers or dealing with the challenging people causing the issues. I've had enough of them. But the hard part will be conveying that it wasn't all the SM's fault. It wasn't. The "family friendly" policy is something he inherited, it just was not being used like it is now.  And that is why my kids have been frustrated. And when parents won't listen to the SM, let alone his existing ASMs, it is his fault. Combined with not having an active CC, he is trying to keep the troop together by himself. I know he's getting frustrated.

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Talking to the SM in private is the honorable thing to do. You don't need to dread it because you'll be walking away.  It sounds like you're prepared to handle it in a respectful way that the SM can either use to improve the troop or not.

If it causes you too much anxiety, option 2 is to explain it in an email. 

I wish you well.

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16 hours ago, Eagle94-A1 said:

Well the boys and I came back from visiting the troop. Meeting was atypical, only uniforms worn were by my sons and the adults. It was their annual Halloween party with a costume contest. Orsin Krennic won best costume. Overall it went very well. My guys were a little nervous and standoffish at first, but once the food was served, it went well. They had a good time. The word is out, and one of the folks I thought would transferred called to find out and said he's thinking of it.

Ha! almost mirrors my son's experience last night exactly.

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2 hours ago, Eagle94-A1 said:

 And when parents won't listen to the SM, let alone his existing ASMs, it is NOT  his fault. Combined with not having an active CC, he is trying to keep the troop together by himself. I know he's getting frustrated.

I reread, and needed to edit it. I do not blame the SM. heck I sympathize with him. I blame the parents that keep interfering.

2 hours ago, 69RoadRunner said:

If it causes you too much anxiety, option 2 is to explain it in an email. 

I wish you well.

No, just  worried about losing a friendship. Happened once when I didn't go to one troop. With all the blood sweat, tears, and treasure We have invested, both figuratively and literally, I owe him a face to face. And thank you for wishing well.

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5 hours ago, Eagle94-A1 said:

Now is the part of the transfer I am dreading, why we are leaving and having folks follow us over. As I mentioned, word is out, and I already had one Scout call my oldest about the matter. he plans on transferring. And I can see 2 to 3 others doing the same.

Had the SM message me last nite about what could the troop do to keep us. This was after my boys visited the troop. The positivity  and happiness was a 180 turnaround of late. So I told the SM it is too late. But I want to meet with him, and go into specifics without having to worry about eavesdroppers or dealing with the challenging people causing the issues. I've had enough of them. But the hard part will be conveying that it wasn't all the SM's fault. It wasn't. The "family friendly" policy is something he inherited, it just was not being used like it is now.  And that is why my kids have been frustrated. And when parents won't listen to the SM, let alone his existing ASMs, it is his fault. Combined with not having an active CC, he is trying to keep the troop together by himself. I know he's getting frustrated.

You probably already know this, but...

I'd just make the conversation positive about what you and your sons want to see in a troop. 

This change is not really about what you dislike in the current troop.  This move is about what you all want to get from Scouting and the difficult realization that you need to go somewhere else to get it.  In an ideal world, the current troop would be providing this.  It's only through painful reflection that you've realized you need to seek that elsewhere.  If he asks why you cannot get that here, then by all means, give examples of how the move towards family friendly Scouting has hampered the ability to get that in the current troop.  But I wouldn't start by criticizing the current troop.  

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