Pack Leader Recruiting, oh yay.

[WisconsinMomma 217]

Our Cubmaster retires in Feb.  I am assistant Cubmaster.  I have offered to be Cubmaster if needed.  The Pack recruited another person to be Cubmaster, but his son's den needed a Den Leader and he chose to fill that role instead (and that's an even better job, being a Den leader). The CC asked me to fill in as a temporary CM, then the CM asked me to be CM and introduced me at the Pack meeting as the next CM who is shadowing until the transition.   At the last Committee meeting (I was at a school board mtg that night), the COR and AOL DL and whomever else  discussed pack recruiting and the COR made a list of positions that are needed, listing a Cubmaster as an immediate need.  I had also volunteered to help manage Fall camping, and they listed a fall camping chair as a need and failed to include me as someone who is helping.  The COR has also expressed interest in placing her choice for the next CC, but our current CC is on board for the next two years. 

The committee would like to recruit a new Tiger dad who serves in the military to be CM.  He would be great.  That's cool, but he expressed concerned about deployment.  It seems they are going to work on him to take the CM role, saying deployment is OK, as I would be there as ASM (my current job).  But, he hasn't said yes. Meanwhile, the AOL DL is going to present the leader needs list at the next Pack meeting and try to recruit people.

I am hurt, they say it was not intentional. I am position trained and ready to go and two people have asked me to be CM, but...  I can't consider this settled yet.

Wish me luck at the next committee meeting, where AOL DL wants to be very involved with setting up the Pack for the future.  

Ah, Pack politics!  I almost feel like taking my ball and going home but then I'm the bad guy. 

Edited January 10, 2018 by WisconsinMomma

[Stosh 3452]

@WisconsinMomma, this is all normal crap that creates adult drama in the scout units.  This is the reason I quit a lot of activities over the years.  Church politics.?.. yep after 15 years, just walked away even though I had spent 4 years training.  Reenacting?,....  It took me 13 years to work my way up from private  to captain/president of the group and it was time to leave.  Venturing Crew?  Advisor for 13 years until the CC decided he wanted to be in charge.  Walked away, no regrets.  15 years as ASM trying  to turn an adult led program into what it's supposed to be?  Time to move on.  I have had many things in life I have regretted.  Walking away from a no-win political fiasco has never been one of them.  BSA is on the horizon.

[WisconsinMomma 217]

Thanks,  I just needed to vent.  I spoke with the CC and COR and shared my feelings.  My impression is that the COR wants to install her choices,  twist arms to get the volunteers she wants, and presure them to take multi year commitments.  I will make some popcorn and wait for my orders.

[Stosh 3452]

If there's that much drama going on, it's best not to get in the middle of it.  That whole process is not for the boys' benefit, so it sounds like you've taken the right course of action.  You did mention interest in the DL position.  Why are you not where you want to be?  The DL job is all "for the boys".  Unless the adults "click" on the notion of doing it for the boys, it's best just to let them go off and do their own thingy and take on a job you really prefer and do well at.    I have always through that any assistant job is t make the boss look good and be successful.  In your case, I don't know if that's possible.

[qwazse 4342]

@WisconsinMomma, as a CM or ACM, your paycheck is the smiles on boys faces. Work for smiles.

If other leaders move in our out, remind them. Work for smiles.

You really want people to be stepping up into your shoes. If other leaders are doing that for you, be with grace or spite, let them. Your paycheck is not any attaboys from some adults. Work for smiles.

[Tampa Turtle 1011]

2 hours ago, WisconsinMomma said:

Thanks,  I just needed to vent.  I spoke with the CC and COR and shared my feelings.  My impression is that the COR wants to install her choices,  twist arms to get the volunteers she wants, and presure them to take multi year commitments.  I will make some popcorn and wait for my orders.

This is a great site to vent.

You have a legitimate right to feel hurt but I wouldn't take it to heart. I always think of the end of East of Eden when Charles Trask laments why he always got the short end of the stick and the story goes back to Cain and Abel and why did God favor Abels gift over Cains? And the answer is maybe God prefers lamb over vegetables. 

quazse is right, it really is about the boys. I am frustrated with my Troop, give my opinion when asked but try to stay out of the way for a lot of poor decision making. Once I feel the boys don't even care I am there...

[WisconsinMomma 217]

2 hours ago, Stosh said:

If there's that much drama going on, it's best not to get in the middle of it.  That whole process is not for the boys' benefit, so it sounds like you've taken the right course of action.  You did mention interest in the DL position.  Why are you not where you want to be?  The DL job is all "for the boys".  Unless the adults "click" on the notion of doing it for the boys, it's best just to let them go off and do their own thingy and take on a job you really prefer and do well at.    I have always through that any assistant job is t make the boss look good and be successful.  In your case, I don't know if that's possible.

I was very happy as a den leader for 4 years for my middle son's group, and so I've already had the most wonderful time in Scouting. Of course, it's easy to say that when it's all over, it was hard work.   My youngest son has a Bear den leader  and that den is stable.   One of the volunteers for CM stepped up to help his son's Wolf den, and I think that was a great move for him.  When my middle son crossed over, I offered to be ACM,and you know that's not a bad role, not much responsibility, no pressure, etc.: )   Maybe I should take a nap and be content with ACM. 

When I was a den leader, my motto was to focus on the den, not the Pack and that was very helpful -- staying out of the Pack stuff, where there are cliques and politics and weird jockeying around.  I just need a clear answer on if they want me to serve as CM or as interim CM or to continue as ASM *if* they get someone to take the CM role.  I really don't care,  except my 9 year old would be delighted if I was Cubmaster, and I feel I'm qualified, but what will be will be.  I'm going to say it's not my problem right now.  

The crazy thing for me is how organizations treat volunteers.  In our Pack, some are fawned over and make a big splash with a lot of talking while others are taken for granted, and the adult scouting roles can be truly, stunningly thankless.   I think that's just the way of life, though.   Den families were always appreciative and kind.  

And I don't think our COR and AOL DL's motives are totally bad -- they want people who are organized and Type A, -- on the one hand they want people who can get things done --- on the other hand, there's a strong bent toward perfectionism and shunning people who don't meet their standards.  They have a strong preference for sports families and PTO families who they are friends with and even their particular subdivision.  I think they see the school as the "in" crowd and the "outs" and there's the whole idea that if you're the right kind of parent with the right kind of kid, those kids are the winners and the most popular and they all own the school, so to speak.  That's the attitude.  Very clubby and the power moms and dads, the former jocks and cheerleaders playing the same popularity games in their 40's.  And the way I'm wired,  it's just tough to watch it.    Of course my view is negative and I should try to be more open. 

Edited January 11, 2018 by WisconsinMomma